


Please Don't Scar This Young Heart

by blahblahblah97



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Captain America (Movies), Daredevil (TV), Jessica Jones (TV), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Spoilers, Awesome Darcy Lewis, BAMF Jemma Simmons, Big Sister Skye | Daisy Johnson, Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Remembers, Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Spoilers, Civil War, Clint Barton & Darcy Lewis Friendship, Daisy Johnson kicking ass, Darcy Lewis-centric, Everyone Needs A Hug, Everyone is sassy and sad, F/M, Help, Jane Foster Loves Science, Marvel Universe, Not Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Compliant, Not Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Compliant, Nurse Darcy, Patient Bucky, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Post-Thor: The Dark World, Superfamily (Marvel), This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, so many references, so much pain
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-09
Updated: 2017-12-31
Packaged: 2018-08-30 01:35:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 29
Words: 49,294
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8513662
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blahblahblah97/pseuds/blahblahblah97
Summary: Darcy Lewis is Jane Foster's assistant and perfectly happy with that, then one day she's asked to work with The Winter Soldier. Chaos, friendship and more ensue.'And right now, Darcy can’t change his mind. She can, however, as he delves into his past memories be his anchor in the present to let him know he isn’t alone.'Darcy is loved by everyone and loads of dramatic shit, angst and fun happens. It's better than it sounds, pinky promise. There's mystery, drama and cameos.





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> This has been my baby for the past 14 months. Be gentle with it. There's Avengers and S.H.I.E.L.D. agents galore, and maybe some Defenders. I just kind of went 'fuck it' with the timeline so it's after Thor: The Dark World, The Winter Soldier, and Avengers: Age of Ultron. Mostly pre 'Civil War', but everything in between I take a lot of creative license with. Bucky comes to Steve on his own, Jane, Erik and Darcy work at the Avengers Base, Bruce Banner is bye-bye but BruceNat wasn't a thing- Clintasha is so a thing. For Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. it's after season Two but creative license with anything after that. I hope you enjoy!

Chapter One

“You’re wanted in medical,” Clint tells Darcy as he reaches Jane’s- and Darcy’s by defaults- lab, his eyes guarded and his agent face on. Darcy liked Clint. She’d met him in New Mexico, he was charged with staying behind to oversee the clean-up after Thor left. Darcy had recognised him instantly, proclaiming “hey, you’re the one that took my iPod!”  
He had nodded. “Agent Barton. And yes, it was protocol, miss.”  
“I saw you listening to it! You were humming along to Beyoncé!”  
“What, a man can’t have a karaoke song?” Clint had demanded, and that had been that.  
They’d kept in regular contact, and Clint came to see her whenever he could- they’d spent hours drinking and dancing, or just talking, and she’d received a slightly frantic phone call after London- and even though he’d never said it, Darcy was pretty sure he was glad when she and Jane came with Selvig to work at the new Avengers base. So when Clint arrived in her lab to inform her of her order, she was surprised. Clint rarely visited her at work- and it was never about business. “I told you, I’m not doing the standardised field examination,” Darcy replies automatically, shaking her head. “I had enough of that in high school. Fuck the President’s Fitness Test.” 

“Careful, we know the President,” Clint replies and Darcy shrugs.  
“My response still stands.”  
Clint jerks his head. “Head honcho’s orders.”  
“Steve’s?” Darcy guesses, and he shakes his head, his voice tight.  
“Higher.”

Darcy freezes and drops the notebook she’d been scribbling Jane’s results into. “What do they want me for?”  
Clint eyes her carefully. “They want you to run some tests on a patient.”  
“I’m not a doctor,” she retorts, pushing her glasses up her nose. “Ask someone trained, like Dr. Cho. Or with a PhD. Ask Bruce.”  
“You were requested specifically,” Clint answers wearily, “I was sent to escort you.”  
Darcy sighs. “This isn’t good, is it?” she asks and clasps his hands. “I can’t go back to prison!”  
“You’ve never been to prison,” Clint points out dryly and Darcy inclines her head as she stands.  
“No. But I’ve had far too many close calls.” She flips shut her notebook, grabs her bag and follows Clint. “What am I doing?” she asks as they start walking.  
Clint’s eyes look from side to side in a casual manner- but anyone that knew better could see that he was examining the area with a guarded eye. “You’re going to be running some basic tests on an agent. ECG. Heart trace. Blood pressure. Get them active, check again. Bloods, if you can.”

“What do I look like, a nurse?” Darcy grumbles. Ever since it was discovered that Darcy was a political science major who interned for an astrophysicist, it was assumed that Darcy was a jack of all trades and could do anything. Decipher Jane’s insane notes? Yeah, with practice. Bake enough to feed all the Avengers plus her, Jane and occasionally Pepper? Why not. Taser the god of thunder? That one she was so proud of she damn near put it on her fucking C.V. But she was not and never would be medical, apart from the CPR course she took in high school.  
“This one is…sensitive,” Clint says carefully, and Darcy picks up on the pause.  
“Sensitive as in secret?” she perks up. Something cool.  
Clint shoots her a look. “Yes. As in tell no one. As in Avengers are the only ones that can know.”

“The rota is constantly changing,” Darcy snaps back. Clint snorts. “So who is the unlucky agent?” Darcy asks as Clint stops in front of a door, using his access key to get them to another door.  
“I’ll be right outside the door, Darcy. Anything and I’m there,” he promises.  
Darcy’s eye narrow. Why the hell was Clint staying? “Who?” she demands, and he sighs.  
“I’m so sorry, Darcy. It was an order. And it’s Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes.” Clint smiles apologetically before quickly nudging her in the door.  
“What??” she yelps, the cogs whirring. “Clint, no- I don’t even know how to take a blood sample.” She hisses at the closed door. Upon realising that the door was not going to open, she takes a deep breath and turns around. Empty. That she can handle. It gives her a bit of time to digest.  
Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes.  
Bucky Barnes.  
Steve Rogers’ best friend.  
The Winter Soldier.

Darcy had known that Sam Wilson had been tracking him down after Washington, and had managed to find him. Steve had been off base for a while, leaving Natasha to run things as he tried to get his friend’s memories back. According to James Buchanan Barnes’ files while had been left on the table- it seemed the longer that Barnes was out of ‘the ice’ let more and more memories of his come through. ‘Thawing’ his brain let the memories resurface, and he managed to start remembering Steve.  
And now he was back.  
At Avengers headquarters.  
Darcy’s eyes scanned the room. ECG equipment, a treadmill hooked up to a machine. Some wires with sticky parts on them- Darcy had watched enough ER to know they were to monitor brain wave frequencies. A blood pressure cuff, and- to her despair- a blood sample taking kit. “Clint, I will kill you,” she mutters as she busies herself going through the equipment.  
“Miss Lewis, Agent Barton would like you to know that he heard that and is just the room over,” FRIDAY’s lilt comes from nowhere.

Darcy scoffs. “Thanks, FRIDAY.” She leans over the table, only to hear a quiet crack behind her, the only thing alerting her to there being someone else in the room. She jumps before turning around. “Jesus! You’re quiet. But I guess you have to be, right?” she raises her eyes to look at Barnes without making eye contact. Dark hair cut bluntly to his chin, stubble lining his jaw. He was tall- almost rivalling Steve- and of a similar build. Darcy guessed that the HYDRA baddie serum was similar to the one coursing through Steve.  
“The strong and silent type, huh? I can work with that. Well not really, considering I don’t have a medical degree. Or a PhD. My degree is political science. Kind of useless, really, but it landed me with Jane. I wasn’t paid so it wasn’t great, but now we work here and Jane actually has enough money to pay me, so it’s great. I managed to get a new microwave. You don’t even know who Jane is, sorry.” Darcy finds that once she’s started talking she can’t stop, it’s like an awful case of verbal diarrhoea she just can’t stop. It’s flowing out of her like crazy, and this is normally the point where the other person will butt in and save her, but Barnes is looking at her impassively, his head cocked slightly to the side as he considers her.  
Thanks, buddy.

His eyes flicker to the table she is standing beside and takes in all the equipment on the table, his hand twitching. Darcy’s eyes flick to his nervously, meeting his gaze. They’re an icy blue, not unlike hers, but they’re darker. Like ice showing the dark oblivion beyond it. He can’t smell fear, Darcy chastises herself. He’s not an animal. That doesn’t stop her feeling like prey.  
“So here’s the deal with this table,” Darcy blurts out and rests her hands on it, well aware of his eyes on her hands, assessing her every move. “We’re supposed to do some tests. Well, I am. On you. With you. Well, you’re doing the running. Rather you thank me, buddy. So I guess we need to take your blood pressure before we start anything that’ll get your heart rate up. May I?” she asks, more concentrated on what she’s seen on E.R. and grabs the cuff and holds it to his long sleeve, feeling cold metal and instant mortification. “Oh shit, I am so sorry,” she gulps, feeling embarrassed down to her toes. She has done some pretty stupid things in her life. This was one of the worst of them. 

Without a word (as expected) he takes the blood pressure from her hand and puts it on the other arm. She gives him an apologetic smile and pumps until his arm looks like it may burst and checks his blood pressure. It seems higher than it should be, but Darcy supposed that was to be expected. Taking note of the results, she sighs. Glancing down her list, she scoffs at the diagram clearly drawn by Clint but places the ECG monitors where he’d marked nonetheless. “Okay. First off we have to monitor your resting heart rate,” Darcy concludes, taking a seat beside the table. Barnes- a few feet away- eyes her warily before sitting too. Steve had told him that this was necessary. Every agent had to do this. After Bucky had nearly had a setback at the last assessment and the smug agent who was assessing him nearly didn’t leave the room, Steve assured him it would get better. He’d came back a week later, looking equally optimistic and pained. “Head Honcho found someone, Buck,” the blonde man had stated with a smile. Bucky barely looked up from ‘Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban’, riveted.  
“Right,” he replied and Steve coughed, making the dark haired man finally look up.  
“She’s not an agent,” Steve said carefully. Bucky was still wary about agents- S.H.I.E.L.D., HYDRA- they were all the same to him. 

Bucky paused. “A doctor?” He didn’t like them any better.  
Steve shook his head. “Nope. She’s an intern.”  
“No skills?” Bucky asked and Steve frowned.  
“I wouldn’t say that. She’s helped Thor with more than one battle. He calls her his sworn sister.”  
“She’s not trained,” Bucky surmised, feeling equally relieved and worried. Untrained meant little threat- but it also meant easy target.  
“She’s a civilian,” Steve levelled his eyes at his friend, “and you’re gonna be fine.”

Bucky’s attention is brought back by the dark haired woman in front of him. She looks pretty young, about twenty-three or twenty-four. Her dark hair falls in glossy curtains, glasses perched on her nose. She would have been his type back in the day, a dame, Steve would have said. She’s reading through a guidebook and chatting away, but Bucky can see the slightly tremor in her hand as she turns the page. She’s nervous. The woman is still chatting away, and Bucky tunes in again. “….So I’m not even a doctor, or a nurse or an agent, even. The only training I have is High School CPR. And I didn’t even really go to that. Shit. I’d suck in an emergency, huh? Now you probably think I’m inadequate and are wondering what I’m doing here, well, I have no fricking clue. I’m a PolSci major. Political Science. And I ended up interning for Jane- you don’t know Jane, she’s an astrophysicist- and boom, god of thunder lands in a field screaming his head off. Not the first time I’d seen that- we were in New Mexico- but the first time it had been a god. Life changed. Weird alien robot set fire to my favourite diner. The place got fixed up, but I haven’t been back. Then we were in London and again, more aliens. Huge Lord of the Rings things. We nearly died, again. Then after everything went down in Sokovia this base was set up, Jane was invited to set up base here and I came with. Not exactly what I expected to end up doing at twenty-three with a political science degree, but, hey-ho, it’s better than my other options aka getting a PhD or working in a restaurant my whole life. This is weird and they kind of expect me to do anything and everything, but it keeps me busy. That’s how I’m here- attempting to be George Clooney in E.R. You wouldn’t get that reference. Sorry.” She finally takes a breath, looks at his ECG results and smiles.

“Okay, I think we have a resting heart rate. Maybe. I have no clue if it’s accurate. Or resting. I mean you haven’t shut up,” she jokes and he slowly raises an eyebrow at her. Cocky thing, Bucky can’t help but think. The woman swallows and motions to the treadmill, carefully peeling off the ECG stickers and wiring him up to the treadmill, tapping away at a slim piece of equipment Steve tells him is a tablet before nodding at him. “Okay. This is to get your heart rate going,” she hesitates before adding, “if this gets too much, pull the red cord,” she points to it, shaking her head. “We can finish it another day. I’m not pushing you to breaking point for the sake of a test.” 

Bucky pauses and glances at the woman who is staring determinedly back at him. She may not be an agent or a doctor, but she’s not dumb. She knows who and what he is, and she won’t push him there. Not the way HYDRA did. She knew somehow -this stranger- that it could be too much for him. Bucky is in a much better place than he was- but he is still haunted by his past. He clears his throat and nods, unable to get words out just yet. The woman started the treadmill, keeping an eye on his vitals. Bucky managed to keep it together, but the adrenaline started flooding through his system and pounds round his body. When the dark haired woman- he didn’t even know her name, Steve didn’t tell him- declared him finished, Bucky was barely sweating, but the woman had an eyebrow raised at his results. “Well you’re…fast, I guess.” She tapped away at the tablet, recording results.

Unbeknownst to them, in the room over, Clint and Natasha were watching them. Clint was pacing in the small space, agitated. “I still can’t believe this order was given. It was beyond stupid, Nat, and practically suicide for Darcy! She’s like a damn lamb being lead to the slaughterhouse!”  
“Clint-” Natasha started, her eyes pasted to the screen, but Barton wasn’t paying any attention.  
“He could probably kill her in thirty different ways, and she has no training, and the damn order wouldn’t let anyone in there with them-”  
“Barton,” Natasha says in a tone that makes him stop and look at his partner. She shoves her tablet in his direction, a direct feed of Darcy’s, and twists a computer screen towards him. Clint’s eyes scan them. “Darcy’s results of Barnes’ stress levels are low,” he realises. Nat cocks her head, her eyes taking in every detail.  
“Lower than any test results when he’s with Steve.”  
“Barnes doesn’t see Darcy as a threat,” Clint concludes. Natasha cracks a small, disbelieving smile.  
“This is the first time we’ve been able to get an accurate reading off him to see what HYDRA did to him. Steve was The Winter Soldier’s mission once, even his best friend being there would affect him badly, even though he thinks he’s fine.” She shakes her head.  
“Son of a bitch.”

“Right,” Darcy said hesitantly, eying up the last piece of equipment. She knew Barnes was too. He was jumpier than he had been earlier, and while he hadn’t pulled the emergency stop, Darcy knew he was finding it tough now. They both eyed up the needle, and Darcy sighed. “We need to try this,” she stated and his jaw clenched, his eyes flitting around. Darcy reached for the pack and his hand twitched out, causing Darcy to throw her hands up in an ‘I surrender’ motion. “Okay,” she says firmly, “I get it. I’m a stranger, I could have training you don’t know about, and I’m going to try and plunge a needle into your arm. Not good, I get it.”  
He didn’t stand down, but he didn’t make a move to snap her neck either, so they both considered that a victory.  
Clint stood. “I’m going in there.”  
Natasha put a hand on his arm. “Wait,” she said tersely. 

“You don’t like this,” Darcy continued, her heart pounding. If she could just talk him down it would be fine. She had to be fine. Why wasn’t Clint here? “What is it, you’re worried I have a weapon on me? I guess it would be possible,” she agreed before hastily adding, “but I don’t.” His eyes flick to her cardigan and she understands his worry. “Okay,” she acknowledged, meeting his eyes. “This is making you uncomfortable. I’m taking the cardigan off, okay? You can see I’m not armed. They wouldn’t even let me bring my Taser into the labs. Apparently I’m a danger to myself and others. People are just freaked that I took down Thor. I live in a dangerous world! Apparently too dangerous for my boyfriend. He’s still in England. Said I liked the danger. Crazy! I like my boss who loves a god who is an Avenger. Life is like that. I’m taking this off now,” she rambles and slips out of her cardigan. Bucky’s eyes scan over her clinically and he gives a minuscule nod. 

Darcy lets out a breath she wasn’t aware she was holding. “Great. Now that’s over with unless you’d like to give me a pat down too, we can attempt to get this over with as relatively painlessly as possible.” She followed the instructions left for her and had the needle at his arm before she hesitated. “If I hurt you, I really am sorry,” she says earnestly, swallowing.  
Bucky eyes her. She seems to mean it. It’s just a needle- nothing crazy really, and he’s felt far worse- but it’s the thought that counts nonetheless. “Oh!” she exclaims, pulling the needle away from his arm. “I’m so stupid. I never even told you my name. I’m Darcy.” She pauses and squints at his arm. “I’m not even sure this is a vein,” she admits.  
And on that hopeful note she plunges the needle into his arm.


	2. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No summary, just wanted to thank you all for the amazing responses to this story! This is my first time on AO3 as I used Fanfiction (my profile is still there and the username is the same if you want to check the work out, I will probably try and transfer it all over to here) and I'm blown away with your kindness! As for the updates on this story there will be a chapter up every Wednesday and Saturday so you're not left waiting too long! I hope you enjoy. :)

Chapter Two

But when you’re wearing on your sleeve,  
all the things you regret,  
you can only remember what you want to forget.  
‘The Things I Regret’, Brandi Carlile.

Her name is Darcy. It suits her. It’s old fashioned yet she makes it youthful. She is a constant flurry of technology and references he never understands, but would file them away in his head and look them up later. Steve would ask him how the assessment session went, he would say ‘fine.’ He doesn’t reply to Darcy the first few sessions they have- it was always the same place three times a week. Darcy starts bringing snacks with her to their sessions- cookies, biscuits, whatever she had baked that day, she tells him, and would share them as they go through the list. He isn’t sure if Darcy is trying to condition him to like her or maybe there was a slow acting poison, but the treats were always delicious.   
It was the same every week- food. Tests. Darcy would talk away- about her week, her weird neighbour, whatever show she was watching. She cracks some joke about Harry Potter and then goes to explain it when he clears his throat and speaks. “I’ve read Harry Potter.”

Darcy looks at him in surprise. She hadn’t expected that voice- it was low but quite gentle, with a slight twang. “Of course you have.” She gives him a small smile- this was a big thing. He’d never spoken to her before, just a series of eye rolls and compliant grunts. Darcy starts giving him other things to read or watch during their tests after hearing he was dabbling in the 21st century. She knew Steve had a notebook of different references to look up, but it seemed to Darcy that Bucky needed one of his own.  
They kept up the testing for a few weeks, and never spoke outside of that. She never saw him outside of those sessions, apart from a glimpse or two of him leaving the gym downstairs with Steve. After a few weeks the ‘powers that be’ decided it was time to bring in familiar faces to when he was The Winter Soldier- preferably ones that wouldn’t be inclined to kill him. They started with Steve- his memories were mostly positive, but sometimes being around Steve triggered his PTSD. 

Darcy liked Steve. He was quiet, humble, and- thank god- knew how to properly take a blood sample. She hadn’t been too far off, but her method of jabbing Bucky in the arm until he bleeds takes longer. Most of all, he makes Bucky smile. With each day that passes he finds being around Steve easier- he was his best friend once, and still was, but there was a lot of history and regret there. The first time he smiled like that- easy, like breathing- Darcy was sure her heart momentarily stopped. He was beautiful when he smiled. Happiness suited him and, stealing a glance at Steve, she knew he was thinking the same thing. 

The next few visitors were harder- Sam was cordial enough and talked politely to Bucky, careful to avoid any topics that would trigger him. Both men found it hard- Sam’s organisation fell that day and what was left of his carefully assembled world fell with it, and Sam reminded Bucky of everything The Winter Soldier represented- target. Kill. Destruction. Death. Needless to say, Sam’s presence- though well meaning- made his stress rates pick up.  
Natasha was difficult though. When she entered the room, Bucky had stiffened- they had figured it was down to Washington. However, Bucky looked like he’d seen a ghost, and when he’d whispered “Natalia?” Natasha’s cool façade had flickered, revealing a history that none of them had known. They had spent the whole session speaking softly in Russian, and Darcy let Natasha take over. She knew that even beyond the language barrier- they were somewhere she couldn’t follow. At one point Natasha had hesitantly reached out and placed a hand on his arm, and said quietly in English “We all have our regrets, James. Don’t let me be yours.”   
He hadn’t flinched but instead had moved into her touch. There was a story there, an old one between The Black Widow and The Winter Soldier- but for now, it would remain between the two of them. 

Darcy receives her instructions for the next few weeks, then her instructions came with a note- sessions terminated as of today. She swallows the lump in her throat and heads to their session. Bucky is already there and he looks hesitant. Darcy can tell he got the memo too. “The sessions are ending,” he states. Darcy nods and busies herself at the table.   
“Um, yeah. I guess the result is that you don’t need these anymore. Or maybe they found a better nurse,” she grumbles, working slowly. She hates to admit it, but she’d begun to enjoy these sessions, and his company. She is surprised when he nudges her. “I like my nurse.”  
Darcy arches an eyebrow at him. “That’s only because of my sexy nurse costume, Barnes,” she jokes and he snaps his fingers.   
“I knew there was a reason, doll,” he deadpans, the term of endearment falling easily from his lips. It had been a long time since that word had been uttered- and it had been from an entirely different man. Darcy shoves him, not commenting on it. “Jerk.” 

She was working slow today, feigning that the treadmill was on the fritz, and Bucky found that he didn’t mind. The only other person he really saw was Steve, so it was nice to see someone else. It was nice to see her. She was a whirlwind- constantly moving, talking, or doing something. She was everything that should put him on edge, and occasionally it did, on his bad days. But mostly it was comforting that she was so harmless and comfortable. She took everything in her stride. She reminded him of Steve in that way- no rest for the wicked. Or, as Steve put it- ‘I’ll sleep when I’m dead.’ 

“So we- won’t have a business relationship anymore,” Bucky comments. Darcy pauses what she was doing and glances at him.   
“That’s not exactly what I’d call it,” she argues and Bucky wants to wince. He used to be good with women. ‘In the 1940’s’ Steve had so kindly reminded him. If you were to ask Bucky he’d say he had never had the time nor the inclination since. “Right, you’re right. I’m your patient.”  
Darcy puts down what she’s doing and stares him down. “I was going to say we’re friends, but whatever floats your boat.”   
Bucky rolls his eyes but meets her gaze warmly. “I guess that’ll do.” 

They’re finishing up the session when Darcy stops abruptly and turns to him. “I can’t be your friend, Bucky,” she says, horrified. Bucky winces.  
“Way to let a man down gently,” he says tightly and moves away from her.   
“No wait! That’s not what I mean!” Darcy grasps his arm as he makes it to the door.   
“Hear you loud and clear,” Bucky says coolly.   
“NO. Just hear me out. My sister was obsessed with Captain America. Crazy obsessed. She even travelled to meet Peggy Carter for a school project on him-”  
“Spit it out, Lewis,” Bucky grits out and her grip on his arm tightens as she glares at him. 

“When we got a dog, she said she wanted a loyal friend like Captain America had.”  
Bucky’s eyes narrowed. “What was the dog called?”   
“Well, that’s a funny story-”  
“Darcy.”  
“The dog was called Barky Barnes!” she blurts and Bucky halts.   
“Barky…Barnes?” he repeats disbelievingly and she nods.  
Then he does something unexpected. He laughs. Darcy blinks at him, clutching her phone, and she’s not sure whether he’s having a breakdown or if he just hasn’t heard a really shitty pun in a while. 

“Oh, jeez,” Bucky says when he calms down. “That’s one I haven’t heard. Barky Barnes. Christ.”  
“It was a really shitty pun.”  
“Yeah,” he admits, “but it’s nice to have someone think good of me for once.”  
Darcy looks at him. Really looks at him. And she realises he’s right. He hasn’t been Bucky Barnes in a long time. To everyone, he’s The Winter Soldier. No matter how much he changes and improves there will always be whispers and scuttling the opposite direction and judgement in the eyes of people he meets, for things he wasn’t in control of, actions that weren’t his own and that will be with him until the day he dies. The idea that someone sees him purely as Bucky Barnes- Steve Rogers’ best friend, a fighter, serving his country and seeking justice for the underdog- is novel to him. “I can get that,” she agrees finally, giving him a small smile. “She would like you.”  
Bucky inclines his head. “Can’t talk about your work? Secrecy clause?” he guesses and to his surprise Darcy shuts down. She pulls away from him and into herself, and it’s the first time he notices how short she is. “No,” she replies finally, turning away from him and gathering her things. “I can’t tell her because she’s dead.”   
It was then Bucky realised that he really didn’t know Darcy Lewis at all. 

They finish up and Bucky speaks. “I’m sorry about your sister,” he says finally. “I had a sister too. They’re annoying, but they’re family, you know?”   
Darcy nods slowly, her mood visibly dampened. “Yeah,” she says softly, “me too.” Darcy turns to the dark haired man with resolve. “I can’t call you Bucky,” she says firmly. Bucky nods.

“Noted. You can call me James,” he replies, and he can see the surprise in her face. He’s surprised too. No one has called him James since he’s arrived, bar the one time Natalia allowed herself to. He was always Barnes or Bucky. He’s sure he’s called other things when he’s not around. But there’s an intimacy to his name, one that hasn’t been used since the 1940’s. It’s an impulse, a potentially reckless one, but when she repeats him name with rolling lips, he knows he has made the right decision.   
They clear up in companionable silence, but Bucky feels a panic bubbling inside of him. What does she expect from him? What friendship can he offer Darcy? He can’t go places. He’s completely fucked up. She’s suffered loss and he is the frequent cause of it for anyone around him. What does he possibly have to offer her? She is surrounded by the world’s greatest heroes, and she chooses to befriend him. The Winter Soldier. There’s nothing he can give her- nothing left of him. He has Steve- only because he had Steve when he was Bucky Barnes.

It wasn’t safe for her. It was different in this one room for an hour every week, a confined space in which he knew what to expect. He could leave. He was being watched. He had it under control. But out there? In an unknown world where anything could happen, and they wouldn’t be watched? He didn’t trust himself. Being with him was a danger. He couldn’t do that to her- he couldn’t shatter the fragile trust she’d put in him. And it was trust- every time she stepped into that room, every second she spent in his company was putting her life in his hands. He’s an idiot to think he can be friends with her. She’s better off without him.

“So,” Darcy says as they approach the door, “I guess this is it.” She takes a glance around the now familiar room that doesn’t seem as sterile as it once did. She glances at Bucky who’s looking intently back at her, something in his eyes. He’s assessing her, she’s come to tell, but something else is there. She sees the second he resolves himself. “Yeah. I guess it is,” he replies, and she stares at him. Something has changed, part of him has shut down in a way it hadn’t in a long time. 

“Do you want to go grab food or something?” Darcy asks and Bucky scratches the back of his head.   
“I can’t. I’m meeting Steve,” he informs her, and Darcy’s eyes narrow slightly.  
“Steve can come too. I like Steve.”  
Bucky clears his throats. “There’s actually something we have to do. So I can’t. We can’t. Sorry.”   
Darcy falls back to head in the direction of the labs. “That’s cool. Another time.”  
“Sure,” he replies, turning his head to look at her. “I’ll see you around.”  
“We do live in the same building,” she reminds him. After rattling off where her lab was and what floor she lived on, Darcy calls out to his retreating figure. “Hey. Don’t be a stranger, James.”   
Bucky gives her a small smile over his shoulder. “Later, doll,” are his last words before slipping around the corner.


	3. Chapter Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I will be doing song recommendations from here on in and when the story is finished I will publish another chapter with the entire playlist. Any songs that might spoil things will instead be in the chapter notes at the end. Again, thank you for reading and enjoy! Also if you get the reference in this chapter leave a comment, it can be our inside joke instead of my inside joke with myself, because that's just sad.
> 
> Song recs: 'No One Can Save You' by Elle King, Stole The Show by Kygo, Ain't No Rest For The Wicked by Lennon and Maisy.

Chapter Three.

I call for you but you never come,   
You broke me up and left me undone  
You show me who I can’t be,  
So you enjoy a life of lonely misery.  
-No One Can Save You by Elle King

 

Darcy soon learns that the ‘something else’ in his eyes is a goodbye, and that James Buchanan Barnes finds it very easy to be a stranger.  
She tries, at first. She stops him if she sees him, chats to him for a while, but there’s always some excuse. It gets that she doesn’t see him- Bucky becomes adept at not being wherever she is, and when she sees Steve he has confused guilt written on his face whenever she asks about Bucky. He’s been told to avoid the topic but isn’t sure why, and she isn’t either. Fed up with beating around the bush, Darcy accesses the information about where he lives- thank you Natasha, who, when bored, has taken to training Darcy in espionage- hacking, breaking into places and basic self-defence- and shows up at his door. She’s not stupid enough to try and break in- she doesn’t have a death wish- but she does knock. When there’s no answer, she calls on FRIDAY.

“Hey FRIDAY, is James in?”  
“James Rhodes is in the training room.”  
“I’m not looking for Rhodey, FRIDAY. Is James Barnes home?” Darcy asks, balancing a Tupperware container under her arm and an iced coffee in each hand. FRIDAY’s voices pipes up again after a few moments. “Sergeant Barnes isn’t home.”  
“Oh,” Darcy says, disappointed. “Where is he?”  
FRIDAY’s lilt almost sounds apologetic as the AI answers. “I don’t know.”  
Darcy’s eyes narrow. She knows that answer. That’s FRIDAY’s privacy setting answer- Tony had figured ‘privacy’ meant sex, so therefore set FRIDAY’s answer to sound as dodgy as possible so everyone would know.

“So FRIDAY, where is Steve Rogers?” Darcy shoots at the AI, who answers automatically,   
“In Sergeant Barnes’ living quarters.”   
“Motherfucker!” Darcy exclaims just as she hears Steve’s voice raise from the other side of the door.   
“Get your head out of your ass, Buck,” Darcy hears Captain America exclaim, and can’t help but think- holy shit, I will never hear anything like that ever again. She can practically hear Bucky’s eye roll in return.

“Why are you being such a jerk, Bucky, Darcy was good to you. The least you can do is open the door and be nice.”   
Bucky answers, his voice cool and detached. “Please, Steve, she was paid to do that.” Darcy frowns at the closed door. Is that what he thinks?   
“She wasn’t paid to be nice to you. She wasn’t paid to make you feel comfortable, to bake for you, to talk to you like she did- and don’t play dumb, I saw the tapes.”  
Bucky scoffs at that and Darcy’s eyes narrow. She hears the two men head closer and Bucky replies as the door is unlocked. “Darcy Lewis is paid and kept around so she won’t talk about all she’s seen here. That’s all she’s here for. She’s a glorified secretary.”

Darcy steps up to the door as it opens, adrenaline pumping through her veins, she’s practically shaking with anger. Both men look surprised to see her still there, Steve looks sheepish and she almost sees a hint of guilt in Bucky’s eyes. She lashes the coffee at Bucky- thank God it wasn’t hot she didn’t want an assault charge or an angry assassin- who barely winces before she thrusts the treats into Steve’s chest. “Darcy, we were just-” Steve stammers to protect his friend, but Darcy interrupts him. “You missed a spot,” she informed Bucky who glanced down in confusion as he was lashed with more coffee. She smiles sweetly at him, saying “Don’t worry, I got you covered.” Her smile drops before she jabs a finger in Bucky’s direction. “Glorified secretary my ass,” she yells at him before storming away. 

Steve disappears into Bucky’s room, leaving Bucky soaking and pushing his wet hair out of his eyes as Steve returns with a clean t-shirt and minus the treats Darcy had brought. He felt a pang in his chest seeing her, and Steve pulls him from his thoughts when he shoves the t-shirt at him a little too roughly. “You were out of line, Buck,” he chastises and Bucky shrugs out of his sopping t-shirt and tugs on the new one. “I know,” the dark haired man replies, staring in the direction Darcy had left. The blonde man’s hard gaze softens. “She’d understand, you know,” Steve says, “if you explained. We all got baggage, Buck, doesn’t mean we can’t have friends.”  
Bucky shakes his head. “A friend who is still fighting the urge to fight and kill? The Winter Soldier credited with over two dozen assassinations over the past seventy years? What kind of friend am I? What could I offer her? No. She’s better off without me. She’s better off hating me.”

“Darcy won’t hate you,” Steve replies. Bucky scoffs.  
“Thanks for trying to cheer me up, but I think she does.”  
“I mean it. From what I can tell, Darcy seems the forgiving type. Like it would take a lot to earn her hatred. I think you’ll be okay.”  
“Please, stop, Steve,” Bucky says tiredly. Steve considers his friend for a few moments before speaking.  
“Were you serious about what you said earlier?” Steve asks and Bucky looks up in surprise.   
“I meant every word,” he says earnestly, and after a second of thinking Steve nods.   
“Alright. If you’re serious, let’s get started.”

Darcy feels anger coursing through her as she storms away, down the corridor, up the elevator and down another corridor. She’s banging on a door that’s not hers until she almost falls through it when it opens. “What is it, Lewis, we’re just back from a long haul in Dubai,” is Natasha’s version of a greeting.   
“I need you to teach me to throw someone,” Darcy informs the spy defiantly. Natasha raises an eyebrow.   
“Do we have someone in mind?” she asks, and Darcy shifts.  
“A super soldier sized someone.”

Natasha considers the brunette, her head cocked to the side. “Probably stupid,” she reminds Darcy.  
“Definitely,” Darcy agrees. After a minute Natasha shrugs.  
“Why not, it would be good for you to have some training. Hey, Clint,” she calls behind her. Clint emerges from the bathroom in low slung tracksuit bottoms- that was the thing with heroes, they had no modesty. Darcy supposed when your life is on the line you don’t care who sees you naked and with all the training there’s nothing to be ashamed of, that level of self-confidence would be nice- and sporting a few more bruises than when he left. “Yeah? Hey Darcy,” he greets and she nods at his bruises. “You okay?” she asks and he shrugs. 

“Got thrown around in a wind tunnel like vent, nothing new. What’s up?” he questions and Natasha answers.  
“We’ve got a new training recruit,” she gestures to Darcy who grins.  
“I’m so going to be kicking your butts,” Darcy says gleefully.  
About half an hour later, Darcy groans as she’s thrown to the mat for the sixth time. “Bragging isn’t a very good trait,” Natasha reminds her as she helps the intern up.  
Darcy huffs, feeling like she’s just went ten rounds with Mike Tyson- she’s sure Mike Tyson would be easier. “I distinctly remember me asking to learn how to be the thrower, not the throwee!”

“Fighting isn’t about how many people you can beat- it’s about how many times you can get up,” Clint calls cheerfully from the side-lines as he snacks on oreos.  
“That’s such a load of horseshit,” Darcy grunts as she launches at Natasha, only to be flipped and thrown on her ass.  
Natasha grins at her. “Again!”


	4. Chapter Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Song Recs: Oats in the Water by Ben Howard, Religion by Howard, Clocks Go Forward by James Bay, Ring of Fire by Lera Lynn.

Chapter Four. 

The pendulum swings  
On its way down I'm decieved  
That all the thoughts I knew  
Were all just make believe.  
-‘Religion’ by Howard.

“Where are you?” James Buchanan Barnes’ voice questions down the phone at her. It’s like hearing a ghost- he’d completely dropped off the face of the earth for the past four or so months. She’d ignored it- pretended not to care or notice. But his words and flippancy had stung. She had no clue why the hell he was phoning her, was too drunk to care and frankly, didn’t want to tell him. “Darcy?” he prompts, and after a second glancing around, she decidedly answers,   
“Hell. I’m in Hell.”   
Bucky, to his credit, doesn’t miss a beat. “Very funny, where are you really?”

Darcy raises her eyebrow and signals the bartender- a huge guy she’d be so all over if it wasn’t clear that his full attention was on the dark haired woman with a leather jacket and a permanent semi-scowl- to refill her drink while she answers. “I’m dead serious. Gordon Ramsay’s here. There’s fire everywhere. The main man himself greeted me asking what was it, murder or pillaging villages, and I told him that no, it was ripping the balls off sexist jerks, and he suggested that that overreaction might be why I’m here.”  
“Jesus babe, could you be any cruder? We’re trying to enjoy a drink here,” a guy at a booth to her left complains. Darcy rolls her eyes and adds,   
“Hold on, Barnes,” before turning and smiling sweetly at the guy in the booth. “Oh I’m sorry, am I making you uncomfortable? You who has been making lewd comments about what you’d do to me since I walked in here, making me uncomfortable. Surprisingly enough, those comments aren’t making me want to drop to my knees for you, more like punch you in the face. So if you don’t mind, I’m on the phone and I’m trying to enjoy a drink here,” Darcy smiles tightly before twisting in her seat and goes to take out her money when the bartender- Luke, she thinks his name is- shakes his head. “On the house,” he tells her and Darcy nods her thanks before going back to her phone.

“What do you want, Barnes?” she snaps.   
“You’ve been drinking,” Bucky states.  
“That’s none of your business, but yes, it’s the 21st century, Barnes. Women can vote. Drink. Go places without a man. What a time to be alive. Are you done?” she asks and Bucky barks out a laugh.  
“Not even close. Now if you’re done fighting everyone, tell me where you are,” he states.  
“You know what?” Darcy asks incredulously, “I’d say go to hell, but I don’t want you anywhere near me. Goodnight, Barnes,” Darcy jabs the end call button, hesitating after. What if something was wrong? What if someone was hurt? But he would have told her, instead of mocking her. He would have had to. Happy enough with that, she settles back again.

Darcy’s walking to get a taxi- Hell’s Kitchen was practically empty with few taxis around, so she’s walking to the nearest taxi rink- when, without warning she is dragged into the mouth of an alley and further. She lets out a yell and manages to dig her Taser out of her bag and jabs it quickly at the person behind her. They grunt- a man, it seems- and push her away, stumbling to get her balance. Cursing the fact she had drunk so much, Darcy swings her elbow out to hit her second attacker in the chest. “Stupid bitch!” he curses and backhands her across the face so hard she goes flying, sticking her hand out to stop herself from falling flat on her face. Ignoring her achy hand and throbbing cheek and all too aware of the man from the bar stalking towards her and the fact her Taser had skidded a few feet out of reach, Darcy waits until he is close enough before kicking the bin and knocking it into her assailants path. She scrambles for her Taser, her fingers just brushing it when a hand clamps unto her ankle and drags her backwards. She kicks and suddenly she’s free, and Darcy hears commotion behind her but lunges for her Taser, clutching it as she staggers to her feet and turns to see Bucky Barnes well and truly beating the shit out of those guys. He was controlled, not manic, knocking the guys out cold. 

As Bucky turns to her, Darcy panics and fires her Taser blindly at him too. He manages to avoid the prongs, swiftly taking the Taser off her. “Darcy, it’s me. You’re safe.”   
“What the hell?!” she yells, her good hand going to her face, stinging as it makes contact. Whiskey made sure she wasn’t feeling awful- numbing what she’s sure will be a bitch in the morning.   
“Seriously? I just saved you from God knows who and that’s what I get?” Bucky replies, fixing his jacket and pocketing her Taser before approaching. “Are you alright? Did they hurt you?”  
“I’m fine,” she shrugs him off, staring him down. “What are you doing here?”   
“Well I decided Hell was a nice place to be. I asked that machine about Hell and some guy called Gordon Ramsey and here I am,” Bucky explains nonchalantly, and Darcy’s eyes narrow. 

“Right here?” she asks flatly, “this very dingy alley that smells like piss?”  
“That would be the one,” Bucky answers in the same tone.   
Darcy scoffs at him and starts walking away. “Whatever.”  
After a beat he follows her, catching up quickly. “You did well.”  
“Excuse me?” she asks curtly and Bucky elaborates.  
“In that fight. You did well. You would have done better if you weren’t drunk and had been faster, and it wasn’t two on one. You’ve been learning.”  
Darcy stops and stares at him. “Gee, thanks. What are you doing here, Barnes?” she demands and he is silent. She waits for an answer and receives nothing, infuriating her further. “I’m sick of this. You know what? Fuck you,” she spits venomously at him before stomping on ahead. 

“Fuck me?” he asks incredulously, and she nods.   
“Yeah, fuck you. One minute you’re here saving me, the next you’re blowing me off and slating me to freaking Captain America. Then I don’t hear from you for three months, then you’re calling demanding to know where I am and miraculously appearing here just in the nick of time. I call bullshit. I’m calling bullshit on the whole thing, Barnes.”  
Bucky sighs. “Fine! Fine. I’ve fucked up. I- It’s Agent Barnes now.”   
Darcy gawks at him, the drink in her system making her reactions slower. “What?”  
Bucky paces in the enclosed space, trying to explain. “I had an advantage, being in the army with Steve and with my…specific skill set. I don’t have any trade and it’s not like I could settle down with a normal job, so I figured fighting the good fight could be a start.”  
“So you’ve been….in training?” Darcy asks him confusedly.  
“Yes. I’ve been training to make sure I’m up for it,” he admits.  
Darcy turns to him, unsteady on her feet. “And? Are you?”

Bucky glanced back at the men who were starting to come round.   
“Come on,” he says shortly, “they’re coming round.”  
“I’m not going anywhere with you,” Darcy crosses her arms, “until you explain why you’re here.”  
Bucky takes hold of Darcy’s arm firmly and starts to lead her out of the alley. “I was assigned by Steve to protect you. His punishment for saying those things, I guess,” he admits and Darcy glares at him. “Oh don’t give me that look. I was wrong. I said those things and I didn’t mean them. I thought I was too fucked up to be friends with you or be in your life, and I knew the only way you’d stop trying was if I made you hate me,” he confesses. “I handled it all wrong. I- I’m sorry,” he grits out, and Darcy stares at him.  
“You know,” she says slowly, “your excuse is so shitty I actually believe you.”   
“Thank you?” Bucky replies confusedly. 

“But that still doesn’t explain why the hell Captain America thinks I need a bodyguard?”  
Bucky’s eyes are peeled for signs of danger as they cross a road and he starts explaining. “Doctor Foster’s work has been gaining momentum and more recognition, and we’ve been getting some hits on her. Doctor Foster is at risk for her knowledge, and the concern is that people will try and take her. However she has Thor and rarely leaves the Avengers base.”  
“So you think they might try to get to her through me?” Darcy asks incredulously.   
“You and Erik Selvig, yes. He also has a security detail. But since you’re the most difficult-”  
“Independent,” Darcy correct with narrowed eyes.  
“Sure. Steve thought you’d need someone a little more high speed and who you were already familiar with,” Bucky finishes.  
Darcy nods her head. “It makes sense,” she concedes, but tugs her arm out of his grasp. “But I can get home by myself.”

Bucky raises an eyebrow. “How are you going to get back to the base?”  
“The train,” she answers stubbornly, quickening her pace away from him.   
“Last train left twenty minutes ago,” Bucky informs her.  
“Then I’ll get a cab,” she grumbles without looking at him.  
Bucky whistles. “Bad idea for a woman alone at night, and the fare would be a nightmare.”  
“Then I’ll fucking jog!” Darcy yells, throwing her hands up. “I don’t need a babysitter!”  
“Do I look like a teenage girl to you?” Bucky asks flatly, and Darcy stares him down. “And why exercise when you hate it so much, and when you have a free ride right here?” Bucky raises an eyebrow and Darcy snorts.  
“What, am I going to ride you like a pony back to base? Or are we thinking fireman’s lift? Maybe we could go with a piggy back ride or ooh, good ol’ bridal style.” 

Bucky stares at her slightly for a second, a rueful smile playing on his lips. “I was talking about the bike.”  
Darcy blinks before looking down at the motorcycle between them-even with her resisting and tugging away, Bucky had still managed to get her where he wanted her. Damn. Her eyes widen when she gets a closer look at the bike. “Is this Steve’s bike?” she asks delightedly.  
Bucky half shrugs. “Might be,” he answers, turning a helmet in his hand.   
“Does he know you took it?” she asks, a wicked glint in her eyes.  
Bucky matches her look with one of his own, tossing the helmet to her. “Not exactly.”

Darcy mulls over his words. An uncharted ride on Steve Rogers’ motorcycle with a bad boy- oh how her inner teenager was squealing in delight.   
She considered her angry stance- but then realised she wouldn’t have a hope of getting home and Bucky would drag her home screaming. Figuring she could at least retain some dignity, she tugs the helmet on over her curls as Bucky gets on the motorcycle before sliding on behind him.   
“Just drive,” she grumbles, and without giving her time to change her mind Bucky lurches forward, zipping off into the night. As Darcy wrapped herself round him like a python, holding on for dear life, she can’t help but think Lorelai Gilmore was right.  
If you’re going to throw your life away on a boy, you better make sure he has a motorcycle.


	5. Chapter Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's a bit late, I've been snowed under at university!   
> Song Recs: Heavy Weather by Billie Marten, re:stacks by Bon Iver, Mykonos by Fleet Foxes, and Dear Wormwood by The Oh Hello's.

Chapter Five

Come out lightning tries to strike us  
We might be frightened but we won't run  
We be so happy if we were fearless  
And in the darkness we will become.  
\- 'Heavy Weather' by Billie Marten

Bucky catches her heading to the bases car park one night and falls into step beside her, hands in his pockets. “Where are we going?” he asks casually. About a week into his protection detail, most days had been a battle of wills. Darcy was vehemently against the idea of a protection detail, whereas Bucky took this very seriously and if Darcy went anywhere other than the main building, he wasn’t far behind.   
“I am going to get ice cream,” Darcy replies shortly. Her eyes were puffy like she’d been crying and she was wear what Bucky assumed to be her pyjama’s- the least put together he had ever seen her. She swung her car keys in one hand, jangling with the various key chains. She jams the passcode into the keypad and descends the lift heading to the carpark. Bucky catches the door before it shuts him out and follows her to her car- an old banger, non-descript apart from the fact it looks like it shouldn’t still be running. 

“It’s two in the morning,” he reminds her flatly, and she glances up at him from unlocking her car door. Darcy doesn’t argue with him for the first time in a week, or try to peel out of the carpark without him. Instead, she pushes her glasses up her nose and points at him.   
“Exactly. The night is still young. So are you coming or what?”  
“So why are we going for ice cream at 2am?” Bucky asks, bracing himself on the dashboard. He had faced many terrifying things in his life- Darcy’s driving was up there with them. She had cheerily informed him that it had taken three times for her to get her license, and Bucky personally feels like she should have never got it, ever. 

“We were all out. Thor’s a hog when he’s here and I didn’t think that I’d be dumped and need it urgently, but here we are.”   
Bucky winces at Darcy’s bluntness. “The British guy?” he asks and Darcy nods.  
“That’s the one. Ian. Seems that his girlfriend potentially being put on a hit list and gaining a bodyguard was too much for Ian to handle. He already thought I had a death wish coming to work here and the fact I haven’t quit yet was the last straw. Apparently I’m an ‘adrenaline junkie’,” she snorts, and when Bucky is silent she shoots him a dirty look. “Thanks, Barnes.” 

Bucky shrugs and leans back. “I’ve been in and out of a frozen state for the last sixty or so years so correct me if I’m wrong, but shouldn’t you be more upset about this?”  
Darcy considers this in conjunction with all other breakup’s she’d had in her life. “Probably,” she admits. “He saved my life once. And the attraction wears off after thirty minutes. I’d say lasting a year or so is pretty good going.”   
The topic soon dropped as they screeched to a halt outside a convenience store. “If they don’t have cookie dough ice cream, your head is on the chopping block,” she warns, and Bucky rolls his eyes.  
“Isn’t it always,” he mutters before following the brunette into the store.

X.x.X

Darcy is walking down the street later that week running some errands- sure, they could have them sent for, but it gets her off base and drives Bucky insane- when she spots something in the reflection of a store window that makes her take out her phone and dial a new number. He picks up right away- being ‘in and out’ of the last 65 years means he is generally better with technology than Steve was at first- and wastes no time with formalities.   
“Lewis,” Bucky greets, and Darcy finds herself rolling her eyes.  
“Hey, Barnes. Do you want to do me a favour and stop stalking me and walk with me instead? You’re scaring the people.”  
Bucky is silent on the line until he hangs up and he falls into step with her. “How?” he asks, and Darcy shrugs.  
“I saw the fear in people’s eyes as I walked past and caught your reflection in a shop window as I turned a corner,” she explains easily.   
Bucky frowns. “You’re spending too much time with Natasha.”

Darcy’s grin widens. “Excellent.” She leads him down the block, asking “Are you hungry? I’m hungry.”  
Darcy is feeling talkative, not the nervous babble their first conversations had consisted of but an easy flow in between appreciating the food. Bucky isn’t sure why he does it, but he feels the need to bring up something that had been bothering him.   
“So are you feeling- better?” he asks, and Darcy frowns.   
“After getting dumped- yes,” she admits and Bucky shakes his head, knowing he would have to approach this carefully.  
“The night in Hell’s Kitchen- you seemed pretty upset.”  
“Well I was being attacked,” Darcy replies shortly, dipping a fry into her sauce.   
“You were upset before that. You were practically ready to take on everyone in the bar except the bartender.”

Darcy jabs a finger at him, “because I’m not stupid, I wouldn’t fuck with Luke. He’s crazy strong and I’ve seen bottles smashed on him and it doesn’t do anything to him. The guy is a tank.”   
“You’re deflecting,” Bucky states and Darcy glares at him, dropping her fork.   
“Fine. I was supposed to meet two of my sister’s college friends at Luke’s for Emily’s birthday- I meet Foggy and Matt every year, we get drunk, tell some stories. But Matt had a flu, or something, and Foggy was only there for a while before he saw something on his phone, started acting shady, made a shitty excuse and fled like a bat out of hell, met some blonde woman on his way out.” Seeing Bucky’s look, she rolls her eyes. “I’m not jealous, Barnes, it’s not like that.”

Bucky holds his hands up in submission, “I didn’t say anything.”  
“It’s not,” she insists, “it’s just- there’s no one else to remember her. And I guess with everything it feels like she’s- losing significance, or something. And when Matt and Foggy bailed I guess I just snapped.”   
Bucky is silent, and Darcy shrugs. “Forget it. It’s stupid.”  
“Before I went to Steve, I went back to Brooklyn. I just had to see. I grew up in this tiny apartment with my folks and my sister, Rebecca. It was always cold, the water only worked at certain times, super cramped. Steve would stay over sometimes too, after his mother died. Rebecca was a nurse, married a patient and moved out. I tried to get Steve to move in, but he was as stubborn as a mule. I went back and the building was gone.”

Darcy is touched that Bucky is willing to share such a personal story- she can’t imagine how she’d feel if everything she knew was gone without a trace. She knows nothing she says can take that away, so instead she reaches her hand across the table and takes his real hand instinctively. It’s calloused and scarred, the hand of manual labour and gun power embedded in the skin, power in its bones. It’s the hand of a man who was a weapon and is now trying to find his place in this world, who feels nothing good can happen to him or come of him. And right now, Darcy can’t change his mind. She can, however, as he delves into his past memories be his anchor in the present to let him know he isn’t alone.


	6. Chapter Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Completely unrelated note but I just finished Gilmore Girls and I'm done. What is going on.
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> Song recs: The Night We Met by Lord Huron, Just Smoke by Mumford and Sons, and Steady My Bones by Winterbourne.

Chapter Six.

 

Darcy sighs happily as she relaxes into the warmed stone bench, the steam dampening her body and leaving a sheen. After a particularly crazy few weeks in the labs with Jane in a ‘science!’ frenzy, she was finally getting a break as Jane was beginning to run out of steam and decided to just work on calculations, something which Darcy wasn’t needed for. The Scooby-Doo gang were all gone, away on various missions and training exercises, and Tony had went to a board meeting of Stark Industries, mostly to torture Pepper. Knowing Darcy was at risk of committing murder- ‘Promising scientist Jane Foster found brutally murdered by own assistant’- Tony had offered her access to his suite, and more importantly his fancy ass steam shower thing. Never one to miss an opportunity, Darcy had leapt at the chance and here she was, pressing buttons and feeling like a millionaire. Or at least the friend of one.

She leans back and closes her eyes, letting the stress ooze out her pores and had been in there about ten minutes when the steam seems to get hotter and the shower turns on suddenly, scalding hot. Darcy lets out a surprised yelp, tightens the towel round her body and jabs at the buttons to shut the shower off and cool the steam, but it’s unresponsive. Darcy frowns, skirting round the boiling water and tries to open the door but can’t.   
“FRIDAY, open the shower door.”   
“I can’t, Miss Lewis.”  
“FRIDAY, turn off the shower,” Darcy says urgently, feeling panic start to build as she pulls at the door, starting to feel dizzy from the heat.  
“I can’t, Miss Lewis.” For the first time, Darcy notices FRIDAY’s automated voice sounds different, more tinny than normal. 

“FRIDAY, shut it down!” Darcy yells desperately, banging on the glass door.  
“System override. System override.”  
“Block them out. What is happening?!” Darcy asks, panic overtaking her. Jane was in her lab, probably overwhelmed with ‘science!’. Everyone was gone except for Bucky, who didn’t even know where she was. He was probably in his rooms or the gym.   
“Override.”  
“FRIDAY, contact James Barnes. Now!” she instructs as she shoulders the door, hoping to break the glass. “Somebody help! James!” she yells, feeling herself getting weaker, her head getting lighter as she falls to her knees, her head against the glass. “Help,” she yells again, but even she could tell her voice was fading.   
“Darcy?!” a voice yells, and she distantly recognises it as Bucky’s. 

“In here,” she cries, feebly hitting the glass as Bucky busts down the bathroom door and hurries into the room straight for her.   
“Hold on, Doll. Cover your face,” he instructs. Darcy does as he says as he goes to the glass wall and smashes it, grabbing her robe as he runs into the shower, draping it over her as he lifts her out of the shower. Darcy’s mortification about the fact she’s as naked as the day she was born bar a towel and a robe as she’s lifted out of the shower by James Buchannan Barnes, her personal bodyguard- he might as well wear some flannel and rip apart a log- is overshadowed by the gratefulness she feels at not being dead or still burning in there. She gasps for air as he sets her down in a chair in Tony’s room and kneels in front of her, pushing her hair from her face.   
“Are you okay?” he asks and Darcy nods, coughing.   
“I think so.”

Bucky scans her over for injuries, but she’s fine except for pinkened skin and bruises knees and a bruised shoulder. Darcy clutches her robe tighter around her, and Bucky jolts back with the realisation that while he may be a soldier, Darcy isn’t, and she’d probably prefer to be wearing clothes. Spotting the neat pile of clothes he passes them to her and says “I’ll wait in Stark’s room.”  
When Darcy emerges dressed but shaken, Bucky is talking to the system, trying to figure out what the malfunction was. “Feeling better?” he asks and Darcy shrugs.   
“First time nearly being killed by a shower. I’m hanging in there,” She takes a seat by Bucky, curling up.  
“I don’t know what happened, the shower went berserk and the door wouldn’t open, and FRIDAY just kept saying-”  
“Override,” Bucky realises, taking the phone Steve had given him out and checking the system as Darcy holds out her hand.   
“Give it to me, I can find the problem.”   
Bucky hands it over and Darcy roots through the system, calling out the occasional question to the AI. She pales and holds out the phone to Bucky.   
“There were ghosts in the system,” she whispers.  
“What?” Bucky asks and Darcy swallows hard.   
“Somebody hacked our system. They were looking for something. And they were willing to kill to get it.”

X.x.X

It didn’t take long for the Avengers to come home when they heard that one of their own had been attacked. Darcy had managed to reboot the system- thank you Natasha- long enough to free the scientists who had been stuck in the labs- namely Jane and Erik, because none of the rest of the scientists still wanted to science at like eleven at night.  
“Darcy!” Jane had cried once they’d managed to pry the doors open. “We’d been stuck in here and didn’t realise, then the computers started going crazy.”  
“Somebody was in here, weren’t they?” Erik asks, eyeing round the lab mistrustfully.   
Darcy pulls a face. “In a way. We think there were hackers.”  
Jane blinks, shocked. “Hackers?” she exclaims, “What were they after?”   
Darcy hesitates, but Bucky has no such affliction. “You.”

X.x.X

“You broke my building while I was gone,” Tony Stark announces when he enters the room.   
“In my defense, somebody else kind of broke in and I was almost broken in the process. Also, your firewalls suck,” Darcy throws back.   
Tony holds a hand to his heart, mock hurt. “Ouch. But noted.”  
“What do you mean ‘almost broken?’” Natasha asks flatly as she checks the security footage.   
“You know that scene in ‘Pretty Little Liars’ when Spencer almost gets fried by her awesome shower? Well it was just like that. Minus the toilet plunger. The fucking AI had me stuck in there.”   
“You okay?” Clint asks and she nods.  
“I’m never eating lobster. They feel like my kin.”

“Jesus,” Rhodey says as he looks over Natasha’s shoulder.   
“What were they after?” Steve asks, but it wasn’t Steve talking. He had his Captain America face on. And that was the scariest thing of all.   
“From what we could find, they were accessing Jane’s research files. Narrowing it down to the things whoever it was was looking up, they could be trying to blow a hole in the universe,” Natasha says flatly, and Darcy can see Jane shrink away.   
“It’s not your fault, Janey,” she reminds her friend.   
Jane doesn’t answer.   
“Okay. We know what they were looking for. Who was it?” Sam asks, his mouth drawn in a tight line. Natasha digs deeper, then sits back with an uncharacteristic frown on her usually impassive face. Clint looks over her shoulder and swears. Seeing his reaction, Tony pushes through.   
“Okay, who- you have got to be kidding me. Did you know about this?” he demands and Darcy throws her hands up in exasperation.   
“Know about what? Does someone want to fill us in? Who tried to cook me?”  
Natasha taps her fingers on the table in front of her. “S.H.I.E.L.D.,” she says finally, and Darcy can feel her eyebrows shoot into her hairline. 

“What the freaking fuck?” she exclaims, and Sam nods to her as he crosses his arms.   
“What she said.”  
Clint leans forward to Natasha. “I think it’s time we contacted him,” he murmurs.   
“Contacted who? Is S.H.I.E.L.D. still there? Since when?” Darcy asks, feeling an out-of-body, mild hysteria set in. What did they want with Jane? How were they back?  
“Who is running it? Since Fury’s retired,” Jane asks.  
“Dead,” Steve reminds her, “Fury is dead.”   
Jane blinks at him, unimpressed. “Sure.”  
“We haven’t been completely honest,” Natasha says.   
“Shocker,” Tony deadpans.  
“S.H.I.E.L.D. still exists. Unofficially, and it’s still building itself up, but yeah.”  
“You have got to be kidding me,” Rhodey exclaims, “who knows?”

“The ATCU, General Talbot, The President. A handful of others.”  
“But we don’t?” Tony demands, “why weren’t we deemed cool enough to be in on the apparently not so secret?”   
“Because it was need to know and you didn’t need to know.”  
“The helicarrier,” Steve says with realisation, “that was S.H.I.E.L.D.?”   
Clint nods and Steve shakes his head.   
“It’s not over,” he mutters and Darcy sees the first glimmer of hesitation pass over Natasha’s face. She looks guilty, a rare emotion to see on the assassin’s face. She reaches out to him and while he doesn’t flinch, he stiffens visibly.   
“If we had told you before it was necessary you were going to work to their agenda’s inside of ours. And currently S.H.I.E.L.D. has a very different approach to things.”  
Clint clearly feels the need to soften the blow on his partner and takes some of the burden. “That’s not all,” he admits, and Tony throws out his arms. 

“Do tell, oh super-secret spy.”  
“Phil Coulson is the director.”  
“Okay seriously, can this get any weirder,” Darcy complains and Clint shoots her a look. Seeing the slight twitch of Bucky’s brow, Darcy explains. “Coulson was the agent who took care of New Mexico and was these guys Handler,” she gestures to Earth’s Mightest Heroes.  
“Phil Coulson is dead,” Tony says flatly.   
“He was. Fury had something lined up in case any of us died and he used it on Coulson after what happened with Loki,” Natasha explains as Thor shifts uncomfortably. Jane puts her hand in his and squeezes, trying to convey that it wasn’t his fault and it was good Coulson was alive. But Thor is a million miles away, in another world, watching his once innocent brother die.   
“He has his own team and he’s been rebuilding S.H.I.E.L.D. as the Director ever since it fell,” Clint concludes and not for the first time Darcy wonders how Clint and Natasha keep up with the lies they’re telling and how they carry them every day.   
“Okay,” Tony says after a pause, pulling Darcy from her thoughts, “we’ll put that in a box and process that later. Why were they hacking us?”   
Natasha shrugs, seemingly as in the dark as everyone else. “It’s not Coulson’s style.”  
“Well let’s find out,” Steve says, his eyes hard. “Call him. Now.”  
“Invite him for brunch,” Tony adds coolly, “it’s time we met the Director.”


	7. Chapter Seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Back with another chapter, and here is where things start to get fun! The Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. gang are here. If you don't watch the show don't panic, I don't think you need to watch to understand but I highly recommend the show! Any questions feel free to ask I'll get back to you as soon as I can! I'll try to keep up with the update schedule but things are very hectic for me at uni this week and next so if you don't hear from me that's why!  
> This is a long chapter so get comfy.  
> Enjoy. :)
> 
> Song recs: Fire by Barns Courtney, Wicked Ones by Dorothy, and Under The Milky Way by The Church.

Lonely shadows following me  
Lonely ghosts come a-calling  
Lonely voices talking to me  
Now I'm gone, now I'm gone, now I'm gone.  
-'Fire' by Barns Courtney.

Chapter Seven.  
X.x.X

 

“This is so weird. It’s really weird, right?” Darcy asks Jane as they sit at the breakfast bar in the communal kitchen.   
“It’s weird,” Jane agrees as she tucks into a muffin. “These are good.”  
“Thanks, I couldn’t sleep,” Darcy replies absently. “But seriously. We thought he was dead! And he’s been running S.H.I.E.L.D. this whole time. And Clint knew! Spies are so sneaky.”  
“They are. Do you think he’s going to take more of my stuff?” Jane asks mournfully, and Darcy gives her a consoling pat.   
“No way, Jane. If they try James will take them, won’t you James?”  
Bucky was sitting at the table trying very hard not to exist. “Why not,” he says dryly, and Darcy shoots Jane a triumphant look.   
“See? We’ve got super soldiers on our side now.”

“Sure,” Jane says, still sounding hesitant. Bucky had taken to spending his time in the base with Darcy since the attack. He’d felt pointlessly guilty- as Darcy pointed out, he wasn’t on Darcy watch at the time- and it had been decided that the ‘civilians’ of the base should stick together and should pretty much always have someone with them- so Jane had found herself spending a lot of time in the company of Bucky. Not that Jane generally minded- the woman was so wrapped up in ‘science!’ it would take someone to try and attack her or- god forbid- steal her equipment- before she’d notice. Darcy fired a treat in Bucky’s direction and he caught it deftly, taking a bite before mumbling,  
“Too much cinnamon,” around a mouthful.   
“Blasphemer,” Jane says vehemently, jabbing her fork in Bucky’s direction. Bucky shrugs.  
“Things were frugal. I’m not used to all these spices and herbs. You had butter, milk, eggs, flour. That’s it.”   
“Au contraire, my friend,” Darcy says sagely, “and that is why everything you eat now must be a taste sensation. You were sent to the twenty first century for a reason.”  
“I was under the illusion it was because of cyrofreeze. My mistake.”

Darcy gives him a dirty look.   
“I hope it wasn’t Coulson,” Jane says quietly, picking at her muffin. “Thor would be so upset.”  
“We don’t know it was Coulson,” Darcy points out, “Natasha said the trace came back from S.H.I.E.L.D.’s location and using his old passcode.”   
“Do you think it could be Coulson?” Jane asks Bucky suddenly, and he shrugs.  
“I’ve never met him.”  
“But in your- professional opinion,” Jane asks, going red, “from what you’ve heard. Do you think it’s him?”  
Bucky considers this. “I think I don’t know an agent that would be so careless and leave such a trail.”

Satisfied with that, the group settle back into their silence- Jane working on some equations, Darcy deciphering her notes and throwing the occasional question at her boss or prodding at Bucky, who was still in his position at the table, working his way through the 90’s, Darcy having assured him that ‘Clueless’ was essential pop culture history, and it was educational as it was based on Shakespeare. Bucky was failing to see the educational side of it.   
Not soon after, FRIDAY’s unmistakeable voice informs them that Clint and Natasha had arrived with their visitors and were coming to the communal floor. Bucky shifts in his seat, switching off his movie and maintaining his position closest to the door. Darcy rolls her eyes at his seriousness.   
“Relax, James. Clint and Nat are with them.”  
“Says the girl who was almost killed by a shower,” Jane points out, not looking up from her work and catching the glare Darcy was giving her.  
“Thanks for the reminder, boss lady.”  
“Barton and Romanoff are also seriously outnumbered,” Bucky reminds them.   
Darcy snorts. “Please, they’ve been outnumbered by aliens and robots. Agents they can handle.” 

Wanda slips into the kitchen ahead of the group who were still in the elevator. Darcy pats the stool beside her, and Wanda slides onto it.   
“You manage to get a reading?” Bucky asks her.  
Wanda shrugs. “I wasn’t close enough to fully get in each of their heads, but their intentions are honourable. None of them seem to know the true purpose of why they are here.”  
Bucky nods, satisfied with that, but none of the group relax. The doors glide open and the group arrive led by Clint and Natasha, both of whom had their agent faces on. They are followed by a group of people with expressions so similar Darcy can’t help but wonder if they learnt that at spy school.   
Darcy recognises Coulson after a moment, his suit and sunglasses from New Mexico long gone. Next to him was a petite Asian woman with a serious look on her face, and a stance that- while it looked relaxed- also gave Darcy the impression that she was ready to take on anyone in the room at any time. With them was a very tall man who looked like he could crush Darcy’s skull with his arms. Or hands. Or anything. There were two people walking shoulder to shoulder, curled into each other and talking so animatedly that Darcy was just about able to make out accents- the young woman’s English, the man’s Scottish. Bringing up the rear was a young woman about the same age with choppy short hair and a jacket that Darcy knew, wholeheartedly, she needed in her wardrobe. 

“Doctor Foster. Miss Lewis,” Coulson greets the only two there he knows. To his credit, he doesn’t look freaked to see Bucky or Wanda, so Darcy can only assume that S.H.I.E.L.D. got even weirder since Coulson died and came back to life. Darcy gives a little wave and Jane greets him as nicely as she can.  
“Hello, Agent Coulson.”  
“Director,” Coulson corrects, “but Coulson or Phil is fine.”  
“Hey Phil! Glad to see you’re, you know, not dead,” Darcy says awkwardly, wondering when the adults can come join the conversation. Shooting a desperate look at Clint, he turns his head away, finding the painting in the kitchen suddenly very interesting. Traitor.  
“Me too, Miss Lewis,” Coulson replies distractedly, and he keeps glancing at Bucky, who is somehow managing to eat a plum aggressively. Two of Coulson’s team look pretty disturbed and it’s quite funny and Darcy’s trying to figure out what sort of ‘two dead guys, a powered person and some scientists walk into a bar’ jokes she can make when Steve, Sam and Tony walk into the room. Well, Steve and Sam stride and Tony swaggers as much as one can when in the Ironman suit.

“Give me a break, Tony,” Natasha sighs, crossing her arms.   
“Captain Rogers. Mr Stark,” Coulson greets politely, looking vaguely uncomfortable.  
Steve nods at him, his expression guarded. “Coulson. It’s good to see you’re well.”  
“Yes, Agent. You’re looking very not dead,” Tony replies, taking in Coulson and his team.   
“That seems to be the general consensus,” Bucky mutters and Darcy snorts into a cookie.  
“I have to say I was surprised to receive your invitation, in the least,” Coulson admits and Tony turns on his heel.  
“Funny enough, not as surprised as we were to hear you weren’t dead.”  
“Tony,” Steve warns.  
“No, Steve,” Tony says sharply before turning back to Coulson. “We thought you were dead. For years. You didn’t think to, I don’t know, send a postcard?” Tony asks dryly, but Darcy knew he was genuinely hurt. 

“It wasn’t as simple as that. I wasn’t aware of what had happened to me, and very few were allowed to know. Level Seven and up. Plus, you’re kind of a blabbermouth,” Coulson admits.  
“True,” Jane whispers.  
“We’re the Avengers!” Tony argued.  
“Bloody hell,” the Scottish man with Coulson mumbles.   
“We weren’t S.H.I.E.L.D., Coulson. But we were your fri- we deserved to know,” Tony changes abruptly.  
With her epic spidey senses tingling- as they usually do when Tony was about to get himself into trouble- Pepper strides into the communal area with Rhodey at her side. She stops at the sight of Tony in the suit and turns to Rhodey.   
“You told me you talked him out of wearing the suit,” she accuses, and Rhodey shrugs, turning to Tony.   
“I had!” Rhodey defends.  
“I changed my mind,” Tony informed them. Pepper narrows her eyes at him.  
“Tony, don’t be rude. Take off the suit.”  
After a second, Tony concedes to his girlfriend’s wishes. “Yep. This has got awkward.”

As the suit starts folding away from Tony, Pepper greets Coulson warmly, giving him a hug. “Phil! I am so happy you’re alive. Pissed as hell you didn’t say, but happy. We’re all happy,” she says firmly.  
“Super happy,” Darcy confirms.   
“Wow, Coulson. I had no idea you had such a fan club here,” killer jacket girl snarks.   
“These are a few members of my team- Agents May, Mackenzie, Fitz, Simmons and Johnson,” Coulson introduces each member in turn.  
“Does someone want to tell us what we’re doing here?” Agent May asks, looking seriously fed up with everyone’s shit.   
“Please sit,” Pepper offers.  
“I’d rather stand,” Agent Mackenzie replies, crossing his arms. 

Coulson nods to his team. “It’s okay, Mack,” before turning to Steve and the others. “When Natasha and Clint found me after Natasha dumped S.H.I.E.L.D. files online, we agreed it would be best for all if my existence- and S.H.I.E.L.D’s- were unknown. So I’m assuming something’s went wrong.”  
“You assume correct,” Steve says grimly before launching into the story of what happened- the hack into the system, Darcy’s brush with death, Jane’s stolen files and Coulson’s old passcodes.   
“It wasn’t us!” Simmons blurts out immediately as soon as he had finished. “Whilst we would love to be privy to the inner most workings of Doctor Foster’s mind we would never hack into your system in order to get that information, or hurt someone in the process!”  
“I monitor the in and out goings of our entire base. There has been no activity that has anything to do with your facility,” Agent Johnson confirms.  
“So the fact that your old passcodes are used is just a coincidence, Phil?” Natasha asks, leaning back in her chair. That’s the thing about being in a room full of spies. Everyone is trying to judge each other’s poker faces and everyone is really, really good. Knowing neither Wanda nor Bucky seem to have picked up on things going south was comforting.   
“What do you think?” Darcy murmurs to Wanda, who shakes her head.   
“They didn’t do it,” the Sokovian replies distractedly before heading closer to Coulson’s group. Steve tenses as she stops in front of Agent May. “None of you did it, you’re as perplexed as we are. But you have an inkling, don’t you?” she asks May.

“What is she doing?” May asks guardedly.  
“I can feel your fear. You were fine until Natasha said about coincidence, and then you got a pit in your stomach.”  
Coulson shrugs at May. “Your gut is rarely wrong.”  
May pauses for a second before speaking. “Whoever it was used your passcodes, Phil. They did just enough to put you on the radar and distract us all.”   
“There are no coincidences,” Coulson concludes before turning to Daisy. Something unspoken passes between them and she turns to Tony.   
“Let me in your system so I can get a closer look at the hack.”  
Tony squints and points a finger at her. “Didn’t you used to be part of that silly hacktivist group?”  
“Yes but that’s beside the point. I can get in myself. I’m asking nicely. Let me in your system,” Daisy says bluntly, and Darcy has to admit the girl has balls.   
“Hmm. Me thinks not. And I flew a nuke through an alien wormhole into space and saved New York. So I think that’s a ‘get out of jail free’ card.”

Simmons scoffs as she steps forward. “Oh please! I survived three months living on a destroyed alien planet with literal death. These people brought me back through an alien rock. You do not want to tell them they can’t do something, so let Daisy run the bloody test!” she snaps, visibly shocking herself and everyone else there. Tony blinks.   
“That may beat me,” he admits before relenting. “Come on in, Agent Johnson.”   
Daisy taps away at the tablet in her hand and everyone waits to hear the answer.   
“There’s someone you think did this?” Sam asks, leaning against the counter.   
“I’ll be able to tell you if we’re right in just a second,” Daisy replies before leaning back and nodding at Coulson. “It’s him. I’m sure of it.”   
Coulson’s mouth falls into a hard line. Darcy peers round Sam’s shoulder, resting her head on her hand. “Does someone want to fill us in?” she demands.   
Coulson folds his arms across his chest and explains. “When I started working for S.H.I.E.L.D. again, Fury gave me a team. It consisted of myself, May, Daisy, Fitz, Simmons, and one other. Grant Ward.”

“The Senator’s brother?” Sam asks, “the one who died in a house fire?”   
Coulson nods. “He’d been HYDRA the whole time. Working under John Garrett he killed Victoria Hand, and tried to kill Fitz and Simmons. After Garrett died and he escaped our custody he went rogue, killing his brother Christian, working in conjunction with HYDRA, kidnapping and torturing one of my agents, who is still recovering from extent of her injuries. His girlfriend was killed in crossfires by him and he’s not surfaced since.”  
“Until now,” May grits out, her contempt for the man palpable.   
“What does he want with Doctor Foster’s research?” Rhodey queries, and Daisy shrugs.   
“I don’t know. Fitz?” she asks, and the Scottish man steps forward to analyse the tablet. “All I know is he’s gone to great lengths to try and make this look like it was Coulson. Similar keystroke consistency, typing speed, old passwords. He wants us involved in this.”  
“But he was bound to know you’d figure out it was him, if he’s as smart as you say he is,” Steve points out.   
“Fitz? Any luck figuring out what he’s after?” Simmons asks, peering over his shoulder. 

Fitz runs a hand over the back of his neck. “He’s taken research of Doctor Foster’s that could blow a hole in the universe, but he’s taken random stuff. Diary logs, background files, basic ventilation system schematics.”   
“I don’t want some psychopath reading my diary,” Tony objects.   
“I’ve read your diary. Believe me, he doesn’t want it,” Rhodey assures. Darcy isn’t sure if that makes her want to read Tony’s diaries or to steer clear.   
“Is there any correlation?” Simmons asks and the engineer shakes his head.  
“Apart from the information about creating a wormhole, no.”  
Darcy raises her hand in the air and Steve nods at her. “Darcy?” he asks and she sits back in her chair.  
“Since we’ve established Coulson and his team aren’t evil can we let them sit and eat now? Don’t make me have baked until five in the morning for nothing.”

Steve and Tony share a look, Clint raises his eyebrows and Natasha inclines her head.   
“Super parents say yes,” Darcy whispers to Wanda.   
“You need to stop calling us a super family. It’s weird,” Wanda whispers back and Darcy pulls a face.   
“Spoil sport.”   
“Go ahead,” Tony gestures to the table, “sit. Eat. It’s not like we have two super soldiers to feed or anything.”  
That remark earned Tony a sharp elbow to the ribs from Pepper, who sent a dazzling smile at Coulson. “Please make yourselves at home so we can try and figure this out.”   
“There’s nothing to figure out, Pepper,” Jane says mournfully, “He stole my research and he’s going to create some sort of black hole. It’s all my fault.”  
“Hey,” Darcy says gently, wrapping an arm around her friend, it’s not your fault.”  
“Don’t blame yourself, Jane,” Sam consoles, “he had to be a very determined man to get it.”

“How did he get past the encryptions?” Steve asks Tony, “you said they were unhackable.”   
“Nothing is unhackable with the right equipment,” Mack says pointedly.  
“He must have used something to get your systems down and overrode it, and slipped in and got what he wanted before your backup encryption could start up. If he had a hacker he could do it,” Daisy rattles off before looking sheepish.   
Tony stares at her before pointing. “I want that one.”  
“No!”


	8. Chapter Eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Every time I think I will get this up in decent time- I don't. I am the worst. Sorry! But yeah things are starting to kick off in the story, I hope you like what's coming and if you're not too sure at least give it all a go! All will make sense in the end. You're in my trusty hands. And I don't drop stuff. Much. 
> 
> Also you'll be able to tell by the end of this chapter I do not agree with certain things that happened in Civil War. I hope you are with me.
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> Song recs: No Ordinary Love by The Civil Wars, Ava by Famy, Possibility Days by Counting Crows, Wasn't Expecting That by Jamie Lawson, Shut Out Of Paradise by SLO, and Question by Old 97's.

Chapter Eight. 

I thought love wasn't meant to last  
I thought you were just passing through   
If I ever get the nerve to ask   
What did I get right to deserve somebody like you?   
I wasn't expecting that.  
'Wasn't Expecting That' by Jamie Lawson.

X.x.X

"I have an announcement to make," Tony announces as he comes into the group lounge, Pepper by his side, unusually not on her phone.   
"Well you did ask us all to meet here for an announcement," Darcy points out from her spot wedged on the sofa between Jane and Wanda.   
"Well spotted," Bucky grumbles behind them.   
"You're retiring," Natasha asks flatly, at the same time Wanda asks,   
"You were fired?"   
"The confidence you have in me is heart-warming, really," Tony mutters.  
"Pepper's realised you're an ass and is leaving you?" Clint questions, and receives a glare from the woman herself.   
"No," she says firmly.   
Darcy claps her hands together delightedly. "You're having a baby!"   
"No!" said everyone, the horror unimaginable.   
"Oh for crying out loud-" Tony moans, taking Pepper's hand and thrusting it out to the group. 

"Tony and I are getting married!" Pepper exclaims to the group.  
"When?" Steve asks, a rare, genuine smile on his face.   
"Well, we didn't want to wait, we just wanted those who matter to us. Low key, simple-"   
"Much like ourselves," Tony interjects humbly, earning a snort from Clint.  
"So.... We're getting married tomorrow!" the Stark Industries CEO grins, leaving the group in shock and awe.  
"Congrats, man," Rhodey beams, hugging Tony then Pepper in quick succession.

Darcy had never see the group so happy all at once.   
Given the fact that there was so many of them and they all had so much shit going on in their lives, it was hard to get a solid half of them happy at once. Steve, Bucky and Natasha all battled with their past, and though Clint doesn’t like to talk about it he still struggles with his brother’s death and his own mind control. Wanda was always sad, the kind of sadness none of them could even try to understand. Tony had his PTSD, and Thor had the weight of a kingdom on his shoulders. But for once, one hour of a day, they were all happy.  
And Darcy could only hope it would happen more often. 

"Congratulations, Tony," Coulson says, and the Director seems genuinely happy. "We wouldn't want to intrude on the happy occasion. We'll be off and can come back to figure out a plan."   
After a long stare from Pepper that promised all kinds of pain, Tony gave in. "Oh what the hell," he mumbles, "I'm feeling joyous."   
"Phil, we would love it if you and your team could stay for our wedding. Stay on the base, make yourselves comfortable. Please," Pepper asks, and a look passes between them. This started with them, Tony, Pepper, Rhodey and Coulson. It was when S.H.I.E.L.D. had no name, when Coulson saved Pepper's life. There was a friendship there that the others couldn't understand, but Darcy finally got why Tony was so angry with Coulson for lying to him- lies always hurt the worst from people you care about the most. 

"I would like that," Coulson says with a smile, "thank you."   
"Party at the Avengers base," Daisy says with a grin, "that is something I never thought I'd say."   
Fitz sat up abruptly. "I need to go make a wedding present."   
"Thanks for that, kid, but don't burst your boiler," Tony replies, and Fitz fixes him with a look.   
"I invented the little gadget that Maria Hill used to save you, you and you," Fitz points at Steve, Natasha and Sam,   
"Don't call me you," Natasha says,   
"From being executed by Hydra. I think I can figure something out," Fitz informs them before leaving the room, Simmons already chattering in his ear about ideas. 

"Oh my god!" Darcy exclaims, causing Wanda to jump.   
"What?" Clint asks, all those in the room twitching for a weapon.  
"They need a cake! You need a cake!" she yells at Tony and Pepper, who looks mildly alarmed.   
"We don't need a cake," Pepper assures her and Darcy rolls her eyes.   
"I call bull, boss lady,"   
"Let her make a cake, Peps," Tony concedes, "She'll whine in my labs all day otherwise."  
Darcy is already up and heading for the door, pulling recipes from Friday's system. "What are you all just sitting around for?" she demands, motioning people to the door. "They want simple, not a funeral. Get moving!" 

 

Things had been going perfectly, Darcy couldn't help but mourn, until she'd trusted an assassin to get her a dress.   
Darcy had arrived back to her room after finishing the cake and overseeing the food being laid out to find a dress bag hung up from Natasha, as promised, because when you have a friend with contacts, you use them.   
Darcy had saw the dress and grinned to herself because it was beautiful, but her heart dropped when she saw the sizing. She tried to call Natasha with no avail, and with an infuriated huff she stomps to her bedroom door, cracks it open and calls out,   
"James!" 

Bucky appears on the other side of the door, "what's wrong?" he asks, noting that the only panic in Darcy's voice is the daily one.   
"Can you call Natasha? I can't get a hold of her, I think she gave me the wrong dress."   
"What?" Bucky asks, knowing full well that Natalia would not make a mistake like that.  
"I don’t know, James, but it looks too small and tight, she's got it mixed up with hers or Jane's. Please just call her," Darcy begs, and Bucky relents.   
"Thank you," Darcy sighs and shuts the door. 

Natasha answers after two rings, and sounds surprisingly nonchalant.   
"Hey James, I'm busy," she greets.   
"Natalia, Darcy says you've given her the wrong dress."   
"Darcy has went down a dress size and lost inches with all the training, she'd know if she wore things that fit." Natasha states.   
"What is she saying?" Darcy yells, and Bucky calls back,   
"She says put the dress on."   
"That thing will not fit," Darcy protest.   
"Just try it on."   
"What are you trying, Natalia?" Bucky asks suspiciously.   
"Nothing, just helping Darcy out,"   
"Got it!" Darcy yells triumphantly.   
"Oh, and James?" Natasha asks slyly, "You're welcome." 

Before Bucky can ask his friend what she means, Darcy is opening the bedroom door and stepping into her lounge.   
"This dress costs more than anything I own. Even my car," she adds in awe, smoothing down invisible creases in the fabric. It was a cream figure hugging dress which ended just below her knees and capped shoulders, high collar at either side of her neck but plunging down to make her cleavage look fantastic, if Darcy does say so herself. The whole dress is covered in a red beaded pattern, and topped off with nude pumps, she might just fall in love with herself.   
Bucky does a double take when she walks into the room, her dark curls swept up and a different sort of confidence to her. The blood red on her dress and lips contrasted with her pale skin, making her look like she was a dame from the 40’s. He can’t help but wonder what things would have been like if they had met during the 40’s, when he was Bucky Barnes and if she was just a pretty girl with a mouth like a sailor and a big heart. Maybe they would have been together. Bucky’s sure she would have been his type. Bucky’s sure he would have gravitated to her in any lifetime. 

“What? Do I have lipstick in my teeth?” Darcy asks self-consciously, eying him up.   
After a second Bucky shakes his head. “No, no lipstick. You look beautiful, doll.” Darcy’s face breaks out in a luminous smile as she soaks him in. For an ex assassin, he didn’t look too shabby in his suit, his hair had been slicked back by Darcy herself and he’d been warned not to touch it.   
“You don’t look so bad yourself, Barnes, except your tie is crooked.”  
He holds up his metal arm by way of explanation. “Not great for social delicacies.”  
Darcy takes a few steps so she’s directly in front of him and attempts to fix his tie, swearing profusely.   
“I haven’t tied a tie since I went to Catholic school,” she admits, “but it’s better than what it was.”

Seeing his questioning look, she elaborates with a smirk. "I was a very bad girl, and they thought the school along with Sister Margaret's Home For Wayward Girls was the right place."  
"Did you live there?" he finds himself asking, and she shakes her head.   
"It wasn't a boarding school."   
"If you grew up in Pennsylvania how did you end up in a school in New York?"   
"I was an orphan," Darcy says matter of factly. "I was a 15 year old ward of the state. I’d lived with my Grandma in New York but she took too sick and had to go into a home so that left me there."   
"I'm sorry," Bucky says sincerely. Darcy rarely talks about her family or her life before she met Jane.   
"It was a long time ago," she says absently.   
"That doesn't matter. It still hurts," Bucky says gently, and Darcy glances up at him, her hand playing with a bracelet around her wrist. "Yeah, it does." Steeling her resolve, Darcy fixes his collar and smooths down his lapels before taking a step back to admire her handy work. “Alright, people won’t be running away screaming.”

“No guarantee of that with my past,” Bucky counters and Darcy winces.   
“Yes. Right. Well it won’t be because of the state of your suit.”  
“Thanks,” he mutters as she slips her arm through his.   
“Come on,” she tugs, “we have to get to the wedding of the century.”


	9. Chapter Nine.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *Knocks* You dead man?  
> Everyone okay after the crash? The panic was real when I was trying to post this. Hope you all made it without your stories for a bit!   
> Anyhoo, here's the chapter and things are starting to kick off now. Oooooh.   
> The song Darcy is talking about is 'Collide' by Howie Day, the acoustic version. (You'll know what I mean when you get there.)  
> Enjoy!  
> Song recs: Collide by Howie Day (Acoustic Version), I Was Made For Loving You/Please Don't Say You Love Me by Tori Kelly and Gabrielle Aplin respectively(Gardiner Sisters & Kina Grannis cover), Hear You Me by Jimmy Eat World, The Night We Met by Lord Huron (not sure if I've used this one before- I LOVE IT), Holding A Heart by Toby Lightman and Way Down We Go by Kaleo.
> 
>  
> 
> Also- Stop Sharon Carter hate all day everyday.

Chapter Nine.

Even the best fall down sometimes  
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme  
Out of the doubt that fills your mind  
I somehow find  
You and I collide.  
-'Collide' by Howie Day

 

Darcy had to hand it to Earth’s Mightiest Heroes and friends, they pulled off the wedding. Majorly. She practically floated through the ceremony, despite it being the most poker faced wedding she had ever seen. Tony wasn’t good at expressing emotions, especially in front of others, but Pepper had been with him a long time. She knew what he was saying even when words failed him. Darcy couldn’t help the massive grin on her face the whole time, witnessing two of her friends get married in front of the oddest bunch of people she’d ever be with in her life, and she wouldn’t let go of Jane’s arm the whole time because Tony and Pepper were finally getting married, and it was the perfect day.   
It was dysfunctional and broken, filled with agents and scientists and spies and superheroes and assassins, friends and acquaintances and enemies, all there to be normal for once in their life. Despite the many foes and enemies they faced, they were all here in this moment, enjoying watching Pepper shove cake in Tony’s face. 

X.x.X

“Who is Stevie talking to?” Bucky asks Natasha as he spots Steve chatting to a blonde woman at another table.   
Natasha glances up and a smirk comes over her face. “That’s Sharon. They were neighbours.”  
“Neighbours?” Bucky questions, catching Erik attempt to twirl Jane and Darcy on each arm out of the corner of his eye. “She’s not Steve’s date. What’s she doing here?”   
“Mhmm. Sharon Carter. Family friend of Tony’s,” Natasha replies, and Bucky’s brows raise.  
“As in Peggy Carter?” he asks, remembering the British officer that Steve had a crush on during the war. She was ballsy and brave and beautiful, and she’d only had eyes for Steve. Natasha nods.  
“That’s the one. Sharon’s her niece, she was the agent assigned to look out for him. She’s running a task force for the C.I.A. in Berlin now.”  
Bucky stiffens at her words and Clint notices as he hands Natasha a beer. “Relax, Barnes,” the archer says. “Sharon’s not going to rat you out. She’s about what’s right first, agency second. You’re safe here.”

Bucky nods but he doesn’t relax, watching Steve chat to Sharon more confidently than he ever would have been able to, but Bucky recognises the bashful smile his friend wears. The conversation looks easy, and Bucky is happy for Steve. The man had known struggle and loss like no one else, and he carried the weight of the world on his shoulders. He deserved any slither or glimpse of happiness he ever got in his life. But Bucky can’t help the pang he feels in his stomach, one he didn’t think he recognised, even before. It wasn’t like the other emotions he’d relearned like riding a bike, this felt entirely new and different. Natasha and Clint share a look as Bucky gaze moves to the dancefloor, where Darcy laughs as she side steps Erik- it seems he never got out of the lab to go dancing. As she catches Bucky’s eye she winks, and Bucky can’t help but think that maybe Darcy had taught him more than he had thought. 

“Here,” Darcy says to Bucky and Steve a while later, sliding into the seat beside Bucky and depositing another slice of cake in front of them each as Bucky looked up in surprise.   
“We already got cake, Miss Lewis,” Steve says politely and Darcy rolls her eyes.  
“Okay A. Stop calling me Miss Lewis, Cap, I am literally begging you. And B. you’re super soldiers with crazy metabolisms, and James wouldn’t want to get cake and you wouldn’t want to leave him alone, so eat your damn cake, soldier,” Darcy instructs gleefully, and Steve holds his hands up in defeat.  
“Thank you, Darcy,” Steve thanks as Bucky glares at her.   
“I would have got my own cake,” he grumbles.   
“Sure you would have,” Darcy placates.

Darcy spends the next half an hour questioning Steve about his blonde companion- Sharon Carter, yes as in Peggy Carter, yes as in that Peggy Carter, she’s her niece, no it’s not weird, Peggy had moved on, Sharon had worked for S.H.I.E.L.D., now she was C.I.A., yes she can work a gun, no she won’t show Darcy how to use it, yeah she could probably kill you in ten different ways, no she definitely will not show you- until Steve had just about managed to answer every single question there was and Darcy finally relaxes at the next song that comes on. It’s a soft acoustic number Bucky doesn’t recognise as she sways slightly in her seat. Bucky doesn’t know if it’s the wedding, the open bar, seeing Steve talk to Sharon earlier or the wistful look on Darcy’s face, but he finds himself standing and holding his hand out to Darcy.   
“Dance with me,” he says, less of a question than a statement. 

Darcy looks at him incredulously. “You hate dancing.”  
“He used to be the best dancer in Brooklyn,” Steve says with a grin, “you won’t get a better partner than him.”   
“Give me a chance, doll, I might surprise you.”   
Darcy glances at Steve and back to Bucky, his face guarded but a small smile that’s verging on a grimace playing on his lips. He was nervous, she realised, be it about dancing or her rejecting him she wasn’t sure.   
“Well I’m just going to have to test that,” she replies, slipping her hand into Bucky’s and taking to the dance floor. 

“You’re shorter than earlier,” Bucky notices Darcy’s petite-ness was back to her normal level, and in their close proximity he’s more looking at her bouncy curls than anything else. “Couldn’t take the heels?” he teases as they settle into a position, his hands on her hips hesitantly placed on her hips and her arms snaked up around his neck, her hands brushing his hands. Darcy glances down at her converse clad feet and grumbles, “You try wearing stilettos all night.”  
“Maybe the next wedding,” he concedes, their movements jerky and awkward. Darcy put a hand on his arm, nodded to the beat twice, and then started them off again before letting him take the lead once he’d figured out the beat. 

“Like riding a bike, huh?” she asks him with a grin, and Bucky shakes his head.   
“Something like that,” he replies, smiling into her hair.   
Darcy risked a glance at the room as they danced and she caught a glimpse of Steve’s face. “Steve looks weird,” she informs Bucky, “he’s squinting and he’s got this grimace on his face.”  
“He’s worried,” Bucky admits. “He’s worried this is too much- that there are too many people and too much going on. That I’m pushing myself.”  
“It wouldn’t be you if you weren’t pushing yourself, James,” Darcy says seriously. “You’re always striving to do above and beyond what is needed.”  
“Sam would say it’s a guilt thing,” he shrugs her compliment off, wondering how much of it was true.   
Darcy rolls her eyes. “Poor Sam isn’t a shrink, he’s just a really good listener. And yeah, maybe. But it goes deeper than that. It’s you.”  
Bucky takes what she says on board, stores it away in some part of his brain, two lists with bullet points and subsections- The Winter Soldier and James Buchanan Barnes. At times Bucky felt like there was no difference, that they were one in the same, that HYDRA changed him forever.  
But then there were moments, glimpses of salvation- Steve smiling at him when he remembered something of their past, the slight change in Natalia’s posture when she discovered the coffee to her specification waiting for her after a particularly gruelling mission- a sweet solace that was theirs back when HYDRA and the KGB were their homes- the quiet solace shared when on recon with Clint, the moments of normalcy with Darcy- when he felt that maybe The Winter Soldier could be buried. 

“He’s worried if I’m- adjusting,” Bucky admits, and Darcy tries to stifle her grin.  
“I think that’s the understatement of the century, James.”  
“To modern day living. To living. To you,” he adds before he can talk himself out of it.   
Darcy’s eyebrows raise. “Adjusting to me?” she asks incredulously. “Jeez, Barnes, I know I haven’t been a walk in the park but I don’t think I’m that bad.”   
“That’s not what I mean, Lewis. I think he’s worried that I’ll hurt you,” Bucky says carefully, and Darcy is pretty sure this old nugget isn’t so much Steve’s problem as Bucky’s.   
She feels their pace start to slow as the song starts to wind down and Darcy shrugs. “Somehow I don’t think that’s it,” she disagrees as they move. “I think he’s worried that I’m going to hurt you.”  
“I don’t think you could hurt me, doll, unless you burnt a batch of muffins,” Bucky answers snarkily, spinning her out.   
“Maybe,” she admits, “but I don’t think so. I think maybe…you have to worry about me hurting you.” 

With his hand on her shoulder and before he could react, she took a split second to summon all the courage she required and executed what Natasha and Clint had taught her with a grunt, flipping Bucky over her shoulder until he was on his back in front of her, with a look of what can be described as pure shock washes over him. Any panic or alertness that had initially hit him died down as he realised what had happened.   
“Ha! Yes!” Darcy crows, clapping her hands. Bucky would swear she was almost dancing, her feet stamping by his head in victory. With a jolt, Darcy reaches a hand down to Bucky with an apologetic smile, and he shakes his head in wonder. It was a miracle what anger and training with Natasha Romanoff and Clint Barton could do. Bucky takes Darcy’s proffered hand and hauls himself up as she rounds on the room. Steve is half standing and Bucky’s catches his eye and nods to show he’s fine and that everything is under control. 

Darcy turns to the crowd, triumphant. “Okay, first off Steve you’re a terrible liar, your girlfriend is totally packing. Screw you Tony for thinking I couldn’t do it and thank you to my Yoda and Obi-Wan, Clint and Nat- you rock my world. Lewis out!” she exclaims with a mic-drop motion, wearing a shit eating grin that finally made everyone in the room stand down. It was almost comical the varying reactions- Natasha and Clint’s amusement, Jane’s total indifference as she ate her dessert, Tony’s dismay as he passes money to Pepper, Daisy has her hand held out for some reason Bucky isn’t sure of and everyone else is some form of ready to fight or looking alarmed.   
The momentary spike in Bucky’s stress levels are back to normal, The Winter Soldier locked up once again. “How long have you been planning that one, doll?” Bucky asks as he shifts and Darcy shrugs. 

“Since that day you blew me off,” she admits nonchalantly.  
“Remind me to never cancel plans with Lewis,” Tony mutters.   
“Not as breakable as you think, huh?” Darcy queries with a raised eyebrow. Bucky glances down at their entwined hands that they haven’t dropped. Darcy follows his gaze to their hands, her eyes widening slightly as she looks back at him. Bucky takes a look at her and aware of everyone in the room having gone back to what they were doing, he asks quietly,  
“Do you want to go for a walk?”   
Darcy nods and pulls him out the door, reciprocating Clint and Natasha’s fist bumps on the way out.


	10. Chapter Ten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Get ready.
> 
>  
> 
> Also help me I've gotten back into Vampire Diaries I THOUGHT I HAD GOT OUT OF THAT. 
> 
> Song Recs: Wicked Games by The Hotdamns, Save Tonight by Zayde Wolf, Back To The Start by Digital Daggers, and Choke by King Charles.

Chapter Ten.

Kill the lights  
Better hold on tight  
Out for blood  
Better run and hide  
Feel the dark creeping up on you  
Better say your prayers before I make my move.  
-'Wicked Games' by The Hotdamns.

 

“That took some strength, doll,” Bucky says when they finally make it out into the crisp night air. Darcy laughs and rolls her shoulders.   
“Yeah. Wasn’t sure it was going to happen until you were on the ground. Pretty sure you broke my shoulder, by the way.”  
“Stark can make you a new one, he’s good at fixing mine.”  
“I’ll keep him in mind,” she replies as they stroll around the back of the compound. “I’m sorry, by the way. It probably freaked you out, I didn’t think.”  
“It’s fine, Darcy. It was under control.”   
“Yeah?” she asks hopefully and Bucky nods.

“Yeah. Plus I deserved it and more. I was horrible to you.”   
“Yeah, you were. You were an idiot,” Darcy informs him, and he rubs the back of his neck.  
“I know.”  
“But I get why,” she admits. “I get your fucked up logic. And you’ve made up for it a hundred times over, James.”  
Bucky looks away, his mind a million miles away. “I don’t think I can ever make up for it,” he murmurs, and Darcy knows that this isn’t about them anymore.   
“James,” she squeezes his hand, “that was not your fault. None of that was your fault or your choice.”  
“I still did it,” he answers, his mouth in a hard line.

Darcy frowns, playing with her words in her mind. James had told her things before about his life in the past, his family, Steve. He had told her his version of the events of D.C., the aftermath up until and after he turned up at Steve’s apartment, hands up in surrender as he whispered “Steve I need help.” But he rarely talked about his time as the Winter Soldier, the things he had done.   
“Yes,” she concedes, “You did the actions. Carried out the orders. But you were brain washed, James. It was your body but not your mind. That blood is not on your hands.”  
“The things I’ve done-” Bucky starts, his voice cracking. Darcy cuts in front of him, and puts her hand on his chest to stop him.   
“Were done by a being. A host. The Winter Soldier. You are not one in the same. The Winter Soldier was created by HYDRA. The Winter Soldier as they knew it is dead, James. He died that day you pulled Steve out of the river in D.C.” 

“It’s still in me, Darcy. Normal people can’t do what I do,” Bucky fires back at her, and Darcy shrugs.  
“I can still type out Jane’s notes but I’m not her intern,” Darcy points out and winces. “Okay, that’s a terrible analogy,” she admits. “What I’m trying to say is that you just have some interesting skills now. What you do with them now is completely up to you.”  
Bucky stares at her for second, mulling over her words. He nods his head once and she grins at him, side stepping so they could walk forward once more.   
“Right as usual,” she brags and he sends a tight smile her way. He puts his arm around her and pulls her closer to his side.   
“Don’t react,” he murmurs in her ear, “but we’re not alone.”

Bucky feels Darcy stiffen slightly at his tone, letting her know this wasn’t their friends playing tricks. This was the real deal, life or death that Bucky was used to, but Darcy wasn’t.   
“What do we do?” Darcy asks quietly, trying to seem as unaware as she could. Bucky pulls her into his chest and talks into her hair so only she can hear, trying to protect her from any potential shot that might be taken. He had clocked people setting up around the grounds and slowly closing in, nothing to a lesser agent, but with as much experience as Bucky had, he realised the severity of the situation.   
“None of the security protocols have kicked in so the others don’t know. I’m going to distract them and you’re going to run. Get to Steve or Natasha or Clint. Tell them there’s been a breach.”   
“What about you?” she demands, “I’m need leaving you here.”   
“Darcy chances are it’s me they want, and I’m the only one that can hold them off long enough until you get help-”

Bucky didn’t get to finish that sentence as an explosion rocked the compound. They duck to avoid any debris but the explosion wasn’t near them. Darcy whirls to Bucky, eyes wide.   
“I’m not leaving you.”  
Bucky tries to herd Darcy to the nearest door, checking for safety. The attackers focus didn’t seem to be on them, but it didn’t mean they wouldn’t make their way round. “Darcy, it’s okay, you can do this.”  
“I know I can do this, but I can’t leave you here! You can’t fight them on your own!” she protests.  
“Darcy, a couple of months with Natasha and Clint isn’t going to cut it,” he tries to reason with her, aware of time running out. She’s furious, her purposely undone hair coming undone, her blue eyes glaring daggers into him. 

“No. You’re not going to just sacrifice yourself because you feel like you owe the world something! This is not repaying your debt, this is beyond stupid and I can’t let-”   
Bucky surges towards her and she doesn’t get to finish that rant as he pulls her in and kisses her, mouth crushingly hard but not half bad for someone who hasn’t had a kiss since the 1940’s. Darcy finds herself relaxing into his touch despite the situation. As he parts from her he whispers,   
“I’m sorry.”  
Darcy’s eyes fly open but before she has time to react she’s being pushed through the doors, skidding back on her bum, not hard enough to hurt her but enough to get her in the building. The door slams shut and she scrambles up and runs to it. “FRIDAY do not let Darcy out here, over-ride her,” Bucky commands as Darcy bangs on the glass. 

“James! Let me out! Don’t do this!”   
Bucky takes out a gun he had hidden and loads it, clicking off the safety. Darcy bangs on the glass harder, yelling, “James!”   
Bucky appears at the glass, his hand pressed against it. “I have to keep you safe,” he replies, almost to himself before stepping away from the glass, visibly hardening as another explosion rocks the compound. “Get to Steve, Darcy. Run!” he shouts and she does with a final glance back.


	11. Chapter Eleven.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoy!
> 
> Song Recommendations: Serpents by Sharon Van Etten, What Went Down by Foals, and The River by Blue Saraceno.

Chapter Eleven.

Evil will come if you call my name,  
the wicked day shall rise.  
The river's sins gonna wash me clean,  
the river don't run dry.  
-'The River' by Blue Saraceno. 

 

Satisfied that she’s gone, Bucky lets the scary calm wash over him, his one weak spot safe on her way to Steve. He’s not too sure why he kissed her, he tells himself. He needed to distract her, he needed to say goodbye, needed to let her know something.   
He files the kiss away for another time, letting his entire body shift into another person, not the Winter Soldier but not quite an agent either. He blends into the darkness and makes his way to the nearest attackers, effectively taking them out with little struggle. 

The next group manage to get a hit or two on him, and he finds himself wishing he was in his tactical suit as opposed to a dinner suit, his jacket and tie long discarded.   
“End this!” he hears one of them shout and Bucky braces himself, trying to figure out their play amongst the fighting. He’s landing a solid hit on one of the soldiers and throwing them into another when he hears the words, his words in a foreign tongue he hadn’t heard in a long time, and his blood goes cold as he collapses in a heap on the ground, unconscious.

X.x.X

Darcy runs as fast as she can, breathing hard and desperately trying to remember what Clint and Natasha had told her. Heart pounding, she coughed hard, finding it harder and harder to see through the smoke. She makes it to the stairs, swearing as she tries to remember how many floors up the room where the wedding party was, ready to kick herself for always using the elevator and never paying attention.  
Darcy surges on as she hears shouting on the floor below her and bursts through the door to the level she is sure everyone is on. She squints, trying to see through the smoke, listening out for any voices she recognises as she feels her way across the room, trying to get her bearings. “Steve?!” she tries, coughing. “Anyone?!” she cries out into the smoke filled room. 

“Skye?” Darcy hears Coulson yell, and whilst Darcy doesn’t recognise the name he is calling out she’s thankful to hear a familiar voice.   
“Coulson!” she calls out gratefully, “I got separated, we have to find the others!”  
The voice speaks again, sounding like it’s coming from directly behind her. “I found what I need,” Coulson says, sounding distorted. Darcy turns to the sound of the voice and she’s half way there when she’s hit in her chest with a blast and everything okay black. 

X.x.X  
Bucky comes to being shaken by Steve, who backs off with his hands in the air when Bucky’s eyes fly open. “Easy, Buck,” Steve says as Bucky sits up, his head pounding.   
“What happened?” he asks groggily, seeing that Sam was standing behind Steve, arms crossed.   
“The base was attacked, Bucky. We’re running perimeter checks now to be sure they’re all gone. What happened to you?”  
“The damn words is what happened, Steve,” Bucky spits out, angry at HYDRA and himself for still being susceptible to them. “HYDRA had a failsafe. They had a few, actually. In case I got too unruly or started acting up, they’d say these words. Somewhere in the brainwashing it was some sort of hypnosis, these words together in Russian would knock me out long enough to move me to The Chair or the next location. A select few knew the code, I thought it was buried.”

“Someone must have got the information when Natasha dumped the files on the internet,” Sam guesses. “All your HYDRA handlers are dead.”  
Bucky takes Steve’s proffered hand and stands, his head clearing. “Where’s Darcy? Is she with you?”  
Steve’s brows furrow. “We thought she was with you.”   
Bucky feels his blood run cold as Sam asks if anyone has a location on Darcy. “I’d sent her to you to get her out of harm’s way.”

Steve curses as Sam shakes his head. “No one has her,” Sam confirms.  
Bucky straightens. “What do you mean no one has her?” he demands.  
Steve folds his arms, regret etched on his face. “It means she’s gone, Buck.”

X.x.X

 

“What do you mean, gone?” Jane exclaims when they’ve all regrouped. “She was with you!”  
“I thought I was sending her to safety!” Bucky counters.   
“It doesn’t matter whose fault it is, we have a small window and it’s getting smaller. We need to figure out who took her,” Natasha reminds them, already looking through the camera footage.  
“Whoever it was disabled FRIDAY again so the defense protocols were down,” Daisy says. Tony appears at her side with a tablet, nodding to Natasha.   
“Should be up and running. FRIDAY, where was the last place Darcy was before she was taken?” Tony asks, and FRIDAY’s warbled lilt sounds.  
“Miss Lewis was last spotted on the guest floor, sir.”

Natasha gets up the footage from the visitors floor, all the cameras up until Clint’s keen eyes spot Darcy through the smoke blocked camera. “That one,” he points out and Natasha throws that footage to the air, filling the room with the CCTV recording.  
“Steve?” they hear Darcy cry, sounding terrified. Steve flinches, knowing it was him she was looking for.   
“The other side of the room,” Clint points out and all their gazes follow his to where figures in dark tactical suits could be barely spotted.   
“Skye?” one of the figures calls on screen, sounding like Coulson. Daisy visibly freezes and Coulson shakes his head. 

“That was not me.”  
“We know, Coulson. You were with us the whole time,” Natasha states, squinting at the figures.   
“The voice is distorted, it sounds like some sort of voice altering programme was used,” Simmons supplies.  
“Coulson!” Darcy cries, relieved. “I got separated, I couldn’t find anyone. We have to find the others.”  
The figures converge behind Darcy, the smoke messing with the voice distorter. “I found exactly what I needed,” one of the figures says, and as she turns she’s hit with a blue blast and Tony has to look away. 

“The Night-Night Gun. It just knocked her out,” Fitz whispers, knowing it’s not much of a consolation.  
The group watch as Darcy is carefully carried off camera and they follow the footage until they take note of the type of van and which direction it was heading.  
“I hate to be the one to ask the obvious question, but- who is Skye?” Wanda asks, and Daisy takes a deep breath.

“Me,” she admits. “I’m Skye. They took Darcy because they were after me.”   
“Using Coulson’s voice, ‘Skye’, the visitor’s floor…you’re right,” Mack realises.   
“Grant Ward?” Rhodey asks and Coulson nods.  
“It seems likely. Use of the Night-Night Gun, the voice that sounded like me- he was trying to lure Daisy out.”  
“Taking the files, making it look like it was you, all to get you here,” Sam thinks. “Why?”  
“He doesn’t know where our base is, no guarantee he could find it. Your base is known to the public. And he knew if he incriminated Coulson, Daisy would come,” says May with certainty.

“Not to be rude,” Pepper interjects, “but why does he want Agent Johnson?”  
Daisy looks down, ashamed. “Because he thinks we’re the same,” she confesses. “We almost had a thing before, you know, I found out he was a sleeper HYDRA agent. For some reason, now, he wants me.”  
“Why?” Bucky asks, speaking up for the first time. “Why did he break into this compound more than once, attack this base, and take one of our people for you?” he demands, squaring up to Daisy.  
“Bucky,” Steve warns and Bucky doesn’t break eye contact with Daisy, the agent’s eyes hard, not backing down.  
“There’s something I didn’t tell you-” Coulson begins.  
“There’s a surprise!” Tony exclaims. 

“Grant Ward wants me because of this,” Daisy grits out, holding her hands out to an empty glass, and the group watches as it immediately shatters.   
“Oh, come on!” Clint exclaims.  
Wanda sits up, interested. “You are enhanced too?” she asks curiously.  
Daisy shakes her head. “Not in the sense you are,” she explains, stepping back from Bucky and shaking her wrist. “We call ourselves inhumans. I’m part alien. Kind of.”  
“Well this day got even weirder,” Tony states.  
Daisy inclines her head. “It’s probably why he wanted me. It was a power play.”  
“And instead he got Darcy.”  
“Oh God,” Clint whispers. “What did we do?”


	12. Chapter Twelve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wow, I absolutely love you guys and your response to this story! It's been incredible. I'm so glad you've been liking the story! Really makes the 14 months I worked on it worth while. For anyone panicking- this story is completed finished and written out so unless a plague strikes me down you will get the full story.   
> I hope you enjoy! 
> 
> Song recommendations: Little Monster by Royal Blood, Soundcheck by Catfish and the Bottlemen, Wolves Without Teeth by Of Monsters and Men, and I Can't Go On Without You by Kaleo.

Chapter Twelve.

And I run from wolves  
Breathing heavily  
At my feet  
And I run from wolves  
Tearing into me  
Without teeth.  
\- 'Wolves Without Teeth' by Of Monsters and Men.

 

X.x.X

Darcy feels her heart pounding as she hears someone slowly approach her. She’s a little groggy on the information. The last thing she remembers was hearing Coulson’s voice- but it wasn’t Coulson, she knows that now- and then she’s waking up, tied to a chair with a bag over her head. She tests the binds on her hands, arms and legs, but she’s so well tied, and doesn’t fancy her chances of doing a Natasha-esque move and beating the shit of people with a chair she was still attached to. She thinks there are three people in the room and is trying to think of some manipulation tactics when the bag is ripped off her head. 

Darcy squints against the florescent lighting, her eyes struggling to adjust. She was right- there were two men near the one door in the windowless room. The third- the one who took the bag off her- has taken a step back and is examining her.  
As Darcy is considering quoting her beloved Poe Dameron- ‘do you talk first, do I talk first, how does this work?’- The tall, dark haired man turns to the other two and asks, “what the hell is this?” Darcy pauses in her panic Star Wars monologue in her head, confused as he then turns to her. “Who are you?”

Darcy blinks. “Who are you?” she blurts out, panicked, and can practically see Natasha and Clint cringing in her head. Natasha. Clint. She hopes they’re okay. The man tilts his head.  
“I asked you first.”  
“I asked you second,” Darcy retorts.  
The man lets out a short laugh and inclined his head in acknowledgement. “That’s cute. I’m Grant Ward,” he introduces, and Darcy just about has time to register the name when she feels the cold barrel of a gun against her temple.   
“Darcy- Darcy Lewis. I work for Jane Foster!” she exclaims, any calm she had been holding on to thrown out the window.  
“Oh,” Ward says pleasantly. He moves lightning fast and Darcy can’t help the scream that leaves her mouth when a gunshot rings out and one of the men by the door drops, dead.

Ward turns to the other man and points back at Darcy. “That’s not Skye.”  
Darcy blinks at the name as the guard starts spluttering excuses as to how it was dark and they didn’t get a good look at her face when she asks, “sorry, who?”  
Ward sighs and turns to her. “Skye. One of Coulson’s team. A hacker. Long, dark hair, which is evidently where my men got confused.”  
Darcy racks her brain before brightening. “Killer taste in jackets?” she asks and Ward nods. “Dude. You’re way out of the loop. That’s Daisy Johnson. Short hair, mad hacking skills.”  
Ward sits down, perplexed. “Daisy,” he muses. He turns to Darcy and lets out a laugh. “Well this is awkward,” he admits.   
Darcy nods slowly. “Yeah,” she agrees. “It’s pretty awkward for me too.”

“I sent them to pick up Skye- Daisy,” he corrects himself, “and these incompetent idiots didn’t even check it was her.”  
“It was dark, we had similar hair, I responded to fake Coulson, it’s an easy mistake to make,” Darcy assures, and Ward nods in agreement.   
“Yes,” he replies, and Darcy lets out another cry as there is a second gunshot and the second guard’s body joins the first. “But we don’t make mistakes.”  
I will not cry, Darcy wills herself. Tears are for when this nightmare is over, when she’s gotten herself out or the others find her. She will not cry in front of men like Grant Ward, for that would mean certain death. “So this has all been a big mistake,” Darcy tries as he goes to a file cabinet in the room and starts looking through it. “Yikes. I get it, it’s hard to get good employees these days. So how’s about you knock me out with that nifty gun and just bring me back to the base, or even somewhere they can find me. I didn’t see anything, I don’t know anything, no harm, no foul.”

Ward mulls over her offer as he reads a file. “Says here you worked directly with the Winter Soldier on and off for the last nine months,” he states.   
Darcy bristles with his questioning. Coulson and his team said Ward was HYDRA. She wasn’t going to let HYDRA have a piece of Bucky ever again. Ward glances at her and laughs.  
“Loyal. I like that.”  
Darcy narrows her eyes and tries to gauge where he is going with any of this. “I didn’t see anything and I don’t know anything. You can let me go. I’m no threat to you and I’m not important enough to be used as bait but if you kill me, you’re going to have the god of thunder on your ass. So are you going to let me go?” she asks, almost proud of her false bravado. Ward thinks for another moment, flips through to the last page of her file again before slamming it shut, making Darcy jump.   
“On the contrary, Darcy,” Ward says conversationally, “I think you’re just important enough.”  
Darcy feels her blood freeze. “What?”

“I can’t let you go, Darcy,” he says apologetically. “I may have some use for you yet.”  
“What use could I possibly be,” she spits out with venom, “to somebody like you?”  
Ward puts his hand to his chest, mock hurt as he turns to a surgical trolley nearby. “It’ll hurt like a bitch and you might die a horrible, excoriating death,” he admits, turning to her with a needle in his hand and a cold glint in his eyes. “But you’re the scientist’s assistant. Why don’t you tell me?”


	13. Chapter Thirteen.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! So glad you guys are enjoying this story so far and hope you are all having a good holiday period! Or if you don't celebrate- just having a good time in general. How do you be politically correct about these things?   
> Anyway the schedule should not change over the holidays, the next update being on Christmas Eve. So fear not the updates will still be coming!  
> The chapter is a bit short than usual- I try to keep them over 1000, but due to the nature of the story currently the only breaks in the story have been leaving the chapters a bit shorter, but that does even out again later!  
> Also to the lovely reader who complimented my music taste- thank you so much, that was such a nice thing to say! Music is a big part of my writing process, I listen to it constantly and create a specific playlist. Whilst some of the songs I recommend might seem a bit random for the scene I see it almost like a T.V. show in my head (weird I know) so if it isn't the lyrics that connect to a scene for me, it's the tune or the build up. Random behind the scenes knowledge!  
> Enjoy! :)
> 
> Song Recommendations: Nothing Arrived by Villagers, Telescope by Lennon and Maisy, Castle by Hasley, and Fever To The Form by Nick Mulvey.

Chapter Thirteen. 

It's our dearest ally, it's our closest friend  
It's our darkest blackout, it's our final end  
My dear sweet nothing, let's start anew  
From here on in, it's just me and you.  
-'Nothing Arrived' by Villagers.

 

Bucky crept silently through the abandoned warehouse that Tony had found, knowing time was of the essence. The others had fanned out and were searching the building for Ward, but Bucky knew that Darcy was priority for quite a few there. A virtually untrained civilian a HYDRA captive? Bucky knew Darcy, knew she would fight, but she hadn’t had enough time. Enough training. And most of all- she was not prepared for something like this. Normally Darcy would have excelled in abnormal circumstances, but then she’d always had someone to have her back. She was never alone.   
He had left her alone.

Bucky had struggled with that knowledge initially, the fact his sacrifice hadn’t saved her at all, and that she hadn’t made it to Steve or Natasha or anyone. But that sort of self-loathing wouldn’t help Darcy. It wouldn’t complete the mission. It wouldn’t kill Grant Ward.  
Bucky wasn’t stupid. He knew it wasn’t likely he’d be the one to get to do it- it seemed like there was a long line of people Ward had hurt and betrayed, and an even longer line of those who had died because of him. SHIELD- it was new, different now, Steve informed him, run now by a good man called Coulson. Bucky had met some of Coulson’s team already but after the attack they had all flown in. Bucky didn’t know them and he didn’t need to. They were out for Ward’s blood and that’s all he needed to know.

He was with one of them now, Agent May. She talked about as much as he did- which worked out fine for him. Natasha was somewhere in front of them, slinking through the dark. A flash of a figure on the balcony above catches the corner of his eye and he motions to May, who glances up and her eyes harden.   
“I have eyes on Ward,” May murmurs into her comm, and Bucky can feel the man’s grin even from the darkness above. “Yes, you have eyes on me, May. But do you have eyes on the girl? Have you found her yet?”

As if on cue, Bucky hears a scream. His head whips back to Ward who is already fast retreating. “Natalia,” he barks, but Natasha is already off running. “On it!”  
“The scream came from this way,” May states before speaking into her comms. “Ward was spotted second floor, southeast corner. Agent Romanoff is in pursuit. A scream came from the southwest basement. Barnes and I are following it,” she explains in a tone that doesn’t leave any room for arguments as they hurried down metal steps and to the basement. Coulson’s orders followed soon after. 

“Mack, Hunter, Bobbi, head for Ward. Cut him off. Simmons- converge on the noise, Darcy may need medical. Fitz, Barton, shut down the building. Daisy, Lincoln, Elena, Joey- nobody leaves. Wanda is making sure no one gets in- you make sure no one gets out.”  
Steve’s voice follows suit. “Thor, go with Agent Simmons- make sure she gets to Darcy. Tony-”  
“I know, I’ll help the Powerpuff Girls.”  
“There are so many things wrong with that statement,” Daisy mutters.   
“I’ll head with Coulson for Ward, is everyone clear on the plan?” Steve asks and gets varying responses.

“Something doesn’t feel right,” Bobbi’s voice rings through. “It’s too easy.”  
“Easy? We had to hurtle through a missile attack, Bob,” Hunter reminds her.  
“Not my worst day,” Barton comments.  
“Your jet was blown apart when you were on it,” Hunter protests. Bucky can hear arrows being released on the archer’s line.   
“Yeah,” he admits, “still not my worst day.”   
“Still,” Bobbi pushes, “something feels wrong.”  
From what Bucky had heard about Barbara Morse, she had a gut instinct that was never wrong.  
Oh how he wished she would be wrong.

He burst into a brightly lit room that was void of people and had an examination table tilted to face the other wall. Bucky’s eyes hone in on the figure on the examination table and hurries towards it, checking the room for trip wires or traps as he went. May is right behind him, covering his back but halting when she takes sight of the table. Bucky stops in confusion at the table, taking in the stone likeness of Darcy on it. “What the hell is this? It was a trick? Where is she?” he mutters and May reluctantly answers.   
“Terragen crystals. We need to leave, Barnes.”  
“Leave? We can’t leave, we haven’t found- no,” he catches on to May’s regretful look and his brain catches up with the horrible feeling that had been in his stomach. He reaches out to Darcy’s face, terror streaked through her features. “Darcy. Darcy. No. How do we fix it?” he demands of May and the agent shakes her head. 

“She was put through some kind of Terragenisis, it isn’t compatible with everyone. Either you turn into….this,” she gestures to Darcy, “or you turn into…something else.”  
Bucky turns back to Darcy, feeling rawer than he had in a long time. “I’m so sorry, Darcy. This is all my fault. This is all my-”  
He doesn’t get to finish his sentence before the stone cracks and he and May are flung backwards into the wall and drop unceremoniously to the ground. Ears ringing from the explosion he shakes his head and glances at May, who is starting to stir beside him. He hears a familiar laugh and struggles to his feet.

He’s hallucinating.  
He has to be.  
He hit his head too hard.  
Familiar sneakers come into his line of vision as his eyes start to focus.   
“Oh, I really had you fooled, didn’t I?” Darcy laughs, clapping her hands.   
“Darcy,” Bucky grunts, “we have to get out of here. We have to get you back to base.”  
Darcy cocks her head at him, her face void of the kindness that usually lightens its features. “Oh Bucky,” she sighs, her hand caressing his face, “I am home.”


	14. Chapter Fourteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Happy Holidays everyone! I hope you all have a nice, relaxing time.  
> P.S. If you've seen Rogue One and are a fan, I've just uploaded a oneshot!
> 
> Enjoy. :)
> 
> Song Recommendations: Control by Halsey, Retrograde by James Blake, and All The Things Lost by MS MR.

Chapter Fourteen.

 

And all the kids cried out,  
"Please stop, you're scaring me."  
I can't help this awful energy  
Goddamn right, you should be scared of me  
Who is in control?  
-'Control' by Halsey.

 

Bucky registers the click of May’s safety as she levels her gun at Darcy and it’s only his training that helps him stay calm. “Lower your weapon,” he orders May, his eyes not leaving Darcy. “What are you talking about, Darcy?”   
Darcy skips a step back- a move entirely too co-ordinated for her- and shrugs her shoulders, a sly smirk erupting on her face. “Hail HYDRA.” She turns her back to them and strolls back over to the table she had been on, picking up a piece of the stone. “I had you fooled, didn’t I? You really thought I was dead. You really thought I was a civilian, too. Maybe you’re not as good as everyone says you are, Winter Soldier,” she taunts. 

“I don’t know what you think is happening but Ward is messing with your head. Come with us,” May says calmly, but Bucky knows she hasn’t lowered her gun, ever alert. May had known Darcy for an extremely short space of time- but even she could sense something was different. Something was wrong.   
“Agent May, my head has never been clearer. I’m so glad you’re here to see this. Is the rest of your team here?” Darcy asks, unperturbed by the gun pointed at her, moving closer to them. “Is Daisy?” 

May’s face gives nothing away, but Bucky can hear her agent’s sharp intake of breath through the comms.   
“He wanted her here first, you know,” Darcy continues conversationally, “Ward. She’ll love it here. Her own team. It was all set up. But you can’t get the help these days- my extraction happened a little earlier than planned. Not that I wasn’t happy- I mean it had been a long time. Since second year of college, actually,” she informs them, checking her nail polish, “it was a magical place.”  
May and Bucky share a look and Simmons’ voice pipes up through the comms. “Sir, it would appear that Darcy has been subject of some sort of HYDRA version of T.A.H.I.T.I.” the biochemist says. 

“Are you there yet Agent Simmons?” Coulson asks and she replies,   
“Negative, Thor and I are approaching the stairwell.”  
“Do you have the test subject with you?” Coulson asks grimly and after a moment Simmons replies.  
“Yes, sir, I do.”  
“Approach with caution, Agent Simmons, we don’t know what we’re facing.”  
“Darcy you’ve been subjected to HYDRA brain-washing. You work at the Avengers headquarters and you were kidnapped during a raid-” Bucky tries and Darcy gives him a dismissive look. 

“I’m not brainwashed, Barnes. I was in college and I was angry. So angry and I didn’t know what to do with myself. I didn’t know how to vent, made some mistakes and ended up being recruited by HYDRA. They lead me in the right direction. Told me to bide my time. My first mission was to work for Doctor Jane Foster. They wanted her work monitored, even then. Do you hear that, Jane?” Darcy asks, confident that the scientist is somewhere listening. “You were nothing more than a job. HYDRA know everything, and have from the start. I can just see her disappointed puppy face. It’s pretty pathetic, actually,” Darcy cocks her head thoughtfully before continuing. “It was just sheer luck that Thor fell out of the sky in that particular field. What a hit, right? Finding the god of Thunder before S.H.I.E.L.D.? It landed me straight on S.H.I.E.L.D. and then the Avengers’ doorstep. I couldn’t have planned it better if I tried,” she laughs, and Bucky hears the fighting raging on in his comms, Thor and Agent Simmons getting closer and knows that the woman in front of him is not Darcy Lewis.

“Darcy we can help you. Ward has used HYDRA mind control on you-” May tries, trying to talk Darcy down.   
“The only thing wrong with my head is that you’re giving me a migraine, Agent May,” Darcy snaps back. “You know what, May, why don’t you stop pointing that silly thing at me.” Darcy sweeps her hand lazily and May’s arm knocks to the side and the gun goes flying out of her hand. May whips out her other gun lightning fast, her eyes widened fractionally, but otherwise her cool composure intact. 

“Stand down, Darcy, you’re not the only one with a weapon here,” May grits out, her gun trained on the brunette. Darcy smirks and puts her weight onto one hip. “Didn’t Grant tell you, May?” she asks and with a flick of her hand the gun was spinning through the air towards Darcy, who toys with it while May is suspended in mid-air, “I am the weapon.”  
Bucky rushes her- knock her out, get her home, deal with the guilt later- but is frozen in the spot just out of arms reach. He tries to move his arms and legs but he’s trapped, completely unable to move and at the mercy of the once sweet woman before him. 

“Finally, we’re alone,” Darcy sighs, ignoring the struggling May behind her. “I know this is probably a bit of a surprise,” she admits, and Bucky snorts.   
“You could say that again.”  
He hears his teammates in his ear asking him what is happening, Coulson’s team instructing him and May on what to do but there’s nothing he can do. He’s never known anything like this, power like this. He can’t fight his way out. All he can do is wait and listen to the plan being concocted as his team gather more information.   
Darcy looks almost apologetic as she explains. “HYDRA has been exploring gifted individuals such as Wanda and Pietro Maximoff. Manmade miracles, along the lines of the experimentation done on you, Steve and Natasha. When Ward was rebuilding HYDRA he wanted to succeed where VonStrucker had failed, and kept the incident with the inhumans in his mind. What if we could amplify the reach of the power? So we combined them. The idea was to inject them with the manmade serum, then put them through Terragenisis.”

“Having that power in her system must have tricked the Terragen crystals into thinking she had inhuman blood,” Daisy says and Lincoln disagrees.  
“No way. Our people have been around for hundreds of thousands of years thanks to those crystals, they can’t be tricked. She must be inhuman.”  
“Not necessarily, if they had the right technology…..” says Fitz.  
“Which they did thanks to them stealing Doctor Foster’s research,” Mack realises.   
“She’s an inhuman with scientifically enhanced powers. If Daisy, Lincoln and Joey’s powers can be catastrophic, I dread to think what Darcy’s would be,” Bobbi mutters. 

“May? Barnes? Can you subdue her?” Coulson asks and May manages to say,   
“Negative.”  
“So that’s it?” Bucky asks her, “It was all a lie?”  
Darcy shakes her head earnestly. “It wasn’t, I swear it wasn’t. Not all of it. Not you. You sort of snuck up on me. So you were worked into the plan.”  
“I’m part of the plan?” Bucky asks incredulously, and Darcy takes the step towards him.  
“You could be. You were just part of the cover at first but you opened up something inside me that was shut off for a very long time. I care about you, and I’m not ashamed of it. Join me. Stay with me,” she pleads and grasps his hand, “you worked with us once, you can do it again. Together we’d be unstoppable.”

Bucky eyes her, “what is it exactly you can do?” he asks. “I was nothing more than a gun for hire for them. VonStrucker the mad scientist. Rumlow was the soldier. What do they want from you?” he asks, and Darcy looks hurt.   
“What, I can’t be the muscle?” she demands and Bucky stares at her. Darcy drops his hand and slowly waggles her fingers. “Daisy is frequencies, Joey’s like lava Elena is a yoyo, Lincoln has electricity,” she explains, and Bucky can see the equipment at the bed start to rise. “My thing is locks,” she tells him, the equipment swirling through the air.  
“Locks?” Bucky repeats and she nods.   
“Locks. Each particle in the air can lock so things can be pushed or pulled just so,” she informs him a scalpel floating near her.   
“She’s telekinetic,” Simmons informs them. 

“So what do they call you,” Bucky grunts, jutting his chin out, “Locky?”  
Darcy rolls her eyes. “Very funny. They call me The Asset 2.0. Faster, stronger, more special. Better. Better than you.”  
“That I very much doubt,” states Bucky coolly, eyes desperately searching for a way out- a weapon, a way to slow Darcy down or distract her, but can’t see anything he can get to.   
“You’re looking for a way out- there isn’t one. This was carefully planned. Unless you come with me, you aren’t getting out of here.”   
They had shut down the building and every HYDRA agent they had come across was down, but Bucky wasn’t going to tell her that.  
Everything was clearly in place, the plan Bucky didn’t like ready to be put into action, as Bucky heard his best friend yell through the comms.

“Surround her, she can’t concentrate her power on all of us at once,” Steve orders and Daisy protests.  
“She’s just been through Terragenisis and is under mind control, not a good idea! I’m going in too, Joey, Lincoln, YoYo and Stark can handle this.”  
“We don’t have any other choice, we need to take back the building from HYDRA and get out of here.”  
“Barnes, get ready to take the shot,” Coulson instructs, “we’re closing in.”  
But Bucky isn’t listening. “Come home Darcy. Don’t make this hard. You belong with us. I-”  
“You what?” she demands, before repeating more softly, “you what, Bucky?”

Bucky had been through pain in his life. He’d been tortured, shot, stabbed, flung from moving vehicles and fallen off trains. The pain he felt from Darcy calling him Bucky was up there with those.   
“You never call me Bucky,” he mutters and Darcy cocks her head at him, the first flicker of doubt passing over her face. “What?” she asks, and he shakes his head.  
“I’m sorry,” Bucky replies simply, before Avengers, S.H.I.E.L.D. and inhumans alike descend on the room.


	15. Chapter Fifteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I hope you all had a good Christmas/ holiday period. Mine was pretty good, but my heart is extremely heavy with the death of Carrie Fisher. She was a true icon. I hope you're all doing well. <3 
> 
> Enjoy!  
> (Please note I'm not trying to always leave the chapters on a cliffhanger, I really don't mean to! They just seem to be the only place where there is a natural break in the story. Because silly me just wrote the whole thing as one big blob and didn't consider chapters. I'M SORRY.)
> 
> Song Recommendations: Caroline by Kill It Kid, Oh Death by Noah Gundersen, and The Hanging Tree by James Newton Howard.

Chapter Fifteen.

 

Now I’m flirting with the dark  
Raising our glass to unsettled hearts  
Well come on, treat me mean.  
\- 'Caroline' by Kill It Kid. 

 

Darcy looks surprised but acts quickly with reflexes of someone who has been trained- and Bucky can’t help but think maybe she’s right. Maybe she was HYDRA all along.   
“They programmed a fighting style into her, James!” Natasha yells over the comms. “I’m in some sort of control room. I have Ward.”  
“Lock him up,” Tony commands.  
“Leave him to rot,” Fitz spits out, an anger Bucky found surprising from the man.   
“Agreed,” Hunter says.

Darcy swots away Coulson then May, and ignores Daisy’s attempts at talking to her. “I get that you’re scared,” she gets out before she’s flung into Coulson, knocking him over like a bowling pin.   
“You know,” Darcy grits out, sending Thor’s hammer flying back at him, “I thought maybe you meant it all too. Everything. I thought you’d join me, Bucky.”  
“I did mean it, Darcy,” Bucky grunts, straining against her hold, “and that’s why I have to do this.” 

It surprises her for a split second, but that’s all he needs to break her hold on him and surge forward, cupping her face and neck and kisses her. Her eyes widen and he knows he has a very small window, so he says an inward prayer, catching the needle Simmons- who has quietly slipped into the room- throws at him and plunges it into Darcy’s neck.   
She stumbles back, pushing him away from her with unnatural force. Darcy yanks the needle out of her neck, eying the empty syringe. “What did you do?” she hisses and Bucky waits, hoping for a miracle- hoping that the prototype will work. Thor takes her hesitation as a moment to speak.  
“Darcy, it is I, Thor. Your friend. You have been mind controlled, sworn sister, by the likes of my brother. This is not who you are. Not in here,” he points at her chest. Darcy manages a step towards him before crying out in pain.

“What did you do?!” she cries and Bucky takes a careful step forward.   
“It’s a sped up version of the brain thawing I went through,” Bucky explains.  
“I’m not being mind controlled!” Darcy screams at them, fury in her voice. “When will you get that-”

But she didn’t get to finish that sentence as the burning sensation of whatever was coursing through her triggered memories- and they were her memories. She remembers Tony and Pepper’s wedding, dancing, being outside with Bucky. She remembers the explosions, the fear she felt as Bucky left her and as she tried to find Steve. The relief when she found Coulson. The horror when it wasn’t him. The murders, Grant Ward, the serum. She remembers screaming for help, fighting against restraints. Against HYDRA. She remembers the searing pain of the electric pulses scrambling her brain, making her think her friends were her enemies and her enemies were on her side. They weren’t. They hit her, held her down, injecting something that felt like fire into her veins. She thought she was going to die. Darcy thought she was going to die down there in that basement at the hands of that madman- the hands of Grant Ward. 

But she didn’t.  
She survived the process, the one Wanda swore it was only her anger and her brother that got her through. Darcy had been brainwashed to think it was her anger that let her survive- and it was. Only it was her outrage at HYDRA, at the cruelty of the world. It was her need to get back to her friends, to warn them, to finish what she’d started. The pain she felt was nothing in comparison with the determination in her.   
Then her mind was gone, no longer her own as she felt the overwhelming need to kill and destroy, to serve without question, to use her powers. They didn’t understand. They were closed minded creatures, unworthy. But when she looked at them, her bruised and battered friends- she wasn’t so sure. She sees Daisy, nose bleeding and trying to talk the others out of attacking. May, coiled to attack, favouring her left side. Coulson, regret in his eyes as he brought this on her. Simmons, arguing through the comms with Fitz about the serum they’ve given her. Thor, her friend, who is looking at her like he doesn’t even know her anymore. Steve looks pained, bracing himself to make the hard choice if he has to. And James- James is looking at her as hopeful as she’s ever seen him, the horrors of his own torture fresh in his mind. 

“My head,” Darcy whimpers, clutching her head as she staggers backwards away from the group. “I-I’m so confused…” the room shook slightly and Coulson looks towards Daisy, who shakes her head.   
“Don’t look at me,” the agent says, “I’m not doing this.”   
“Can you get it under control?” May asks, “Buy us time?”  
Daisy nods, looking determined. She quickly gets it controlled and the shaking starts slowly down, but Daisy was practically quivering with exertion. “I won’t be able to hold it for long, she’s losing it,” she warns.

Bucky takes a few steps towards Darcy- time is a luxury they no longer have, as the less sure Darcy gets about her life, the more volatile her powers get. “Darcy look at me,” Bucky cajoles, tilting her head and wild eyes lock on his. “I know you’re scared. But you trusted me once. Can you do it again?”  
Darcy’s eyes search his, looking for an answer. Looking for confirmation that she is who he says she is. She sees her own reflection in his eyes and understands that she has to find the answer in herself, and Darcy closes her eyes and nods.


	16. Chapter Sixteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Happy New Year's Eve/ Happy New Year, depending where you are! It'll be a quiet one for me as I've got a uni exam in just over a week- so I'm spending my time revising, just took a break to put the chapter up!   
> I hope you're all enjoying this story so far, believe me when I say it'll get even more dramatic. We still have around eleven chapters to go!   
> As always, if you have any questions, fire away and I'll do my best to answer them. I know that it's unlikely that you all watch Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. so thank you for taking these characters and plotlines into your heart. You're all stars.   
> Hope you enjoy. :)
> 
> Song Recommendations: Ava by Famy, Moon Shines Red by Jamie McDell, and Warm Shadow by Fink.

Chapter Sixteen.

 

Two oceans in between us  
And I wait for shore  
There's a gate I see  
There's a way for me  
Now this one sits here  
And whispers things to me  
Now I got the Devil inside  
This one made a pig of me.  
\- 'Ava' by Famy.

 

“Well this is a touching scene, but we have a problem,” Natasha deadpans through the comms. “There’s eight armed guards coming your way and none of you are in a fit state to fight jumped up super soldiers, even you, Rogers. If you want to survive, you need to do exactly as I say.”  
The guards burst through the basement doors to see the group facing them, looking beaten and bloody, with a carefree Darcy standing in front with her hands up, unfazed by the guns pointed in her face. “Jeez boys, calm down. Hail HYDRA,” she says, waggling her fingers before jerking her head back at her friends. “I’m taking these guys with me. Figured I deserve a prize,” she shrugs walking confidently passed the confused guards. Natasha shouts “Now!” a millisecond before one guard’s hand twitches towards his gun and with a flick of Daisy’s hand all the guns skid away from the guards and down the corridor. Steve knocks his shield into the faces of two guards, while a swing of Thor’s hammer takes out three in one go before returning to him. May, Coulson and Bucky finish off the remaining three guards before moving quickly through the building with Natasha’s direction. 

“Agent Romanoff, who’s helping get you out of the building?” Simmons asks, and Bucky can practically see Natasha’s eye roll.   
“You’re cute,” Black Widow replies and they can hear slamming doors on her end, “but I can get myself out. I’ll pick up Barton and Fitz on the way.”   
“Where’s Ward?” Coulson asks and Natasha pauses slightly before answering.  
“Incapacitated.”   
“How incapacitated?” Bobbi asks.  
“He’s not moving anytime soon. I might have broken his spine,” Natasha says calmly, no hint of emotion in her voice. No one was complaining. 

“Well as glad as I am the bastard can’t move, what exactly is the plan here boss man?” Hunter asks Coulson, who shares a look with Steve. Steve turns to Darcy with urgency.  
“Can you remember anything about what they were doing here? What they wanted?”  
Darcy furrows her brow. “He wanted Daisy. He wanted an army of inhumans for her, and he was going to use mind control to get it. When they grabbed me instead of Daisy he said it was plan B….. But it would work out better. The fall of S.H.I.E.L.D. and the Avengers- oh my god,” Darcy’s eyes widen and Coulson steps forward.   
“What is it?”

Darcy turns around, examining the corridor they were in. She hears whirring and feels dread pool in her stomach. She turns and pushes at Bucky, trying to herd the group towards the door. “Everyone needs to get out, they need to get out right now!”  
“Darcy, what is going on?” Bucky asks as she barks orders at everyone to get out by the closest exit but avoid the vents. Daisy’s eyes widen as she realises what Darcy is trying to say.  
“It’s airborne,” she gasps, “Ward’s made the Terragenisis airborne.”

The gravity of that falling on the group, one after one the groups started declaring they were free of the building.   
“We’re out,” Clint states, “what’s your status?”   
“Approaching the doors,” Steve says, “is everyone clear?”  
“Everyone is out, rendezvous at the jet,” Natasha answers.  
“We can’t let this get out,” Daisy states and Darcy nods.  
“They hadn’t gotten the containers open yet, they’re on a timer. Then they’ll hit the vents and it’ll be airborne,” Darcy explains, nodding towards the vents as Bucky kicks down the doors letting them outside into the evening. Darcy’s wide eyes take in the green pastures and the nearby Cliffside, and Bucky answers her unasked question.  
“Ireland,” he says. “We’re in Ireland.”

“We need to stop the Terragen crystals from getting out,” May says and Coulson nods.  
“We need to stop HYDRA, once and for all.”  
“He had nowhere else to go, Ward had gotten cocky,” Darcy mutters, “he knew S.H.I.E.L.D. would come for Daisy and he’d release the crystals, meaning everyone was either dead or his slave, problem solved.”   
“We can take HYDRA down for good,” Steve realises. “We can take them in-”  
“We don’t have time for that, Stevie,” Bucky shakes his head. “We can’t go in on a suicide mission to get our enemies.” 

Steve stared long and hard at the building, at everything it held and everything it represented. He’d been chasing HYDRA since the 1940’s. HYDRA and what it had done had affected everyone around him. Bucky had been made into a weapon. He thinks of the torture inflicted on Darcy, all the things he had sacrificed to stop them. He looked to Coulson and knew the man and his team had not escaped the fall of S.H.I.E.L.D. unscathed. They had lost friends, suffered and been betrayed. Ward was an original member of Coulson’s team. They had trusted him. He looks at Coulson- so different from when he had first met him- and knows the man is thinking the same thing.   
“No more cutting off heads,” Coulson affirms, “we’re chopping HYDRA at its damn knees.”  
Steve nods and starts directing his team as they make their way to the rendezvous point. “Wanda, we’re bringing down the building. Fast.”

“With pleasure,” the Sokovian replies, and tendrils of red snake their way around the building, crushing it. “The building is re-enforced somehow, I can’t bring it down alone,” Wanda yells as they approach the jet.   
“On it,” Joey says, putting his hands up towards the building as parts of it start to dissolve like it was being attacked by acid. Lincoln shrugs before outing the power. “Cutting off their resources,” he explains.  
Daisy starts forward and Darcy stays near, rocking on her feet. “Let me help,” Darcy pleads, and Daisy shakes her head.   
“Uh-uh. No way, you’re too unstable,” Quake dismisses.   
“And you’re drained. You need all the help you can get. I can help,” the intern insists determinedly, and after a second Daisy nods, her powers already tuned into the frequencies and shaking the building. After a deep breath, Darcy holds out her hands to the building, feels the air beneath her palms and pushes, feeling the air lock as she pushes and pulls it, mimicking Daisy’s frequency and amplifying it. 

The building starts crumbling and break down, falling to the ground. “We leave them with nothing,” Darcy hisses, anger strengthening her power. “Hail HYDRA, asshole.”  
The group watches as brick by brick the building caved in, insuring no survivors in the process. The remains of the building were left alone by the powered people one by one, until Darcy could finally pull herself away.   
“It’s over,” Daisy says, sounding almost surprised. “He’s dead.”  
“We don’t know it’s over,” Mack grumbles and Daisy rolls her eyes.   
“Come on, Mack, show a little positivity.”  
Steve claps Mack on the shoulder. “We won today, Mack,” he says. “We won today.”

As Darcy looks around at the devastation, at her beaten and bloodied friends and feels the ache in her very soul, and isn’t so sure Steve is right. The adrenaline gone and her hands shaking, she takes a wobbly step back, suddenly exhausted. “Darcy!” Clint comes up to her, holding her shoulders as he examines her. She flinches automatically from his touch, his concerned, and all seeing eyes too close to the truth for comfort. “Are you alright?”  
Darcy considers that seriously- she was kind of a scientist, after all. She had all her limbs, she didn’t have an extra head or a tail. Nothing had physically changed except for a bust lip and bruises on her everything. However, the biggest change wasn’t her black, white and blue body. It wasn’t even the feel of gravel on her skin. It was the undercurrent of power at her finger tips, and the utter dullness inside her, the flatness in her heart. She felt dead inside. Grant Ward has taken something from her- innocence, maybe- and she didn’t think she’d get it back.

She could have lied.  
She could have screamed, cried.  
She could have hugged her friends, thank them for risking their lives- very important to the human and alien race lives- to come save her. Instead, she shook her head slowly, ignoring the expectant look on her friends’ faces. “No,” she replies earnestly, turning and limping towards the jet on Clint’s arm, “I don’t think I am.”


	17. Chapter Seventeen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Hope life is treating you all well. Me? I've had a migraine for six weeks and an exam on Monday I don't feel prepared for. Cue hysterical laughter.   
> Anyway I hope you're all enjoying! There's a shit load of references in this chapter, you could play a 'guess the references' if you want. Enjoy!
> 
> Song Recommendations: Til It's Gone by Yelawolf, Teach Me How To Dance With You by Causes, and Save Yourself by Kaleo

Chapter Seventeen.

I'll take anything you've got  
Or could you help me feel your pulse  
Find the truth in all this false  
Could you help me fight them off.  
-'Teach Me How To Dance With You' by Causes.

 

“How is she?” Natasha asks, arms crossed and face impassive. Bucky meets her reflections eyes in the glass. They stood on one side of a glass booth on the jet. Darcy was sitting on the other side with Simmons hovering around her, fussing and rattling off statistics and information. Bobbi was keeping an eye on vitals, asking gently but briskly prodded questions to which Darcy had very short answers, clearly uncomfortable. Daisy was sitting on a table in the corner, swinging her legs casually but watching like a hawk. In the forties Bucky would have probably laughed at the notion of a woman as small as Agent Johnson being the muscle- but having witness her take down a building, he had no doubts she could handle it.  
The problem was that they needed someone who could take down a building, and the ‘it’ she could handle was Darcy.

“You don’t have to pretend with me, Natalia,” Bucky replies eventually, “I know you. I know you care about Darcy.”  
Natasha’s pretty face scrunches in scrutiny of that statement. “Care is a very strong word, James,” she corrects. “Wouldn’t be overly happy if she died. Wasn’t too pleased that she was tortured and temporarily made into a HYDRA weapon, no.”  
“You broke Ward’s spine,” Bucky reminds her, and she shrugs.   
“A necessary evil.”

“I’m sure,” Bucky agrees, and they share a look. Natasha would never admit it, but she was almost as fond of Darcy as Clint was. Bucky’s eyes return back to watching Darcy, the girl clearly injured and recoiling from most initial touches. “I’m worried about her,” Bucky admits gruffly. He would never say this to anyone except Natalia- even Steve. Steve was his best friend, he would die for him, and has in the past. But nobody would understand him quite as much as his former student Natasha. Raised in the Red Room, Natasha knows what it is like to be taught love is weakness, it is for children. Caring bears consequence. And she knows the difficulty of having to care for others having been shut off, nothing more than a weapon. He sees it when she looks at Clint when she thinks no one notices- and maybe no one else does. Bucky and Natasha always had been able to read each other well, and that’s why Natasha will understand.

“We still don’t know the full extent of what was done to her, she’s barely said a word.”  
“Not like Lewis,” Natasha comments, and Bucky nods.  
“Exactly. She’s still looking at us like she doesn’t know if we’re her friends or her enemies.” Bucky mulls.  
“She was brainwashed, James,” Natasha reminds him. “You of all people know what that’s like.”  
Bucky levels his eyes at Natasha. “That’s exactly why I’m worried.”

“How am I doing, doc? What’s the verdict?” Darcy asks, tired of all the examinations that had already been done on her.  
“Well, I’m going to need more blood samples and a psychology assessment-”  
“Goodie,” Darcy murmurs, and Simmons went on like she hadn’t heard her.  
“But your injuries aren’t serious. They didn’t do enough to do damage, just flesh wounds.”  
“Great,” Darcy claps her hands. “When can we reverse what they did to me?”

Bobbi jumps in. “Time will heal the brainwashing, it you let it. No prodding or trying to remember what they did in detail- it should come on its own. The mind is a delicate thing, but as your brain heals, you’ll be fine within a few weeks.”  
“And the whole,” Darcy wiggles her fingers, “power thing? When can we reverse that?”  
Simmons shares a look with Daisy over Darcy’s shoulder and bows her head as the inhuman steps into Darcy’s line of vision. Daisy wrings her hands together, hesitating before answering Darcy’s question. “We can’t reverse it,” she says apologetically, and Darcy’s heart drops.   
“You’re shitting me.” 

Natasha’s eyebrow raises. “Not good.”  
Bucky scratches the back of his head, frustrated. “Is that true?” he asks, “is there no way to reverse it?”   
“Could anyone reverse Thor’s powers?” Natasha questions. “Excluding if he’s not worthy.”  
“No,” Bucky caves, and Natasha gives a nod.   
“Exactly. Because it’s in his blood and it’s who he is,” she states, staring into the room that held her friend, who had just gotten some of the most extreme news of her life. “And this is who Darcy is now. This is what Darcy is now.” 

“What do you mean irreversible?” Darcy demands, “It was done in a lab. It can be fixed in a lab.”  
“It’s not as simple as that,” Simmons explains, clearly having looked into this already. “it is science and DNA and nature and nurture, situation and extreme pressure, it’s extra-terrestrial. There are so many conditions and reasons we don’t know about.”   
“If it’s DNA aren’t we mutants?” Darcy turns to Daisy, “why can’t we use that cure they developed a few years ago?”  
“Because we aren’t mutants,” Daisy corrects. “They have a genetic abnormality. A fluke. We have alien DNA, dormant until triggered by Terragenisis.”   
Tony chose that moment to saunter into the makeshift lab, clearly having lost the fight with May about who would pilot. He popped a blueberry in his mouth, eyes examining the results.

“You,” Darcy points at him, “Genius. Figure this out, please, before I have to run off and join the circus.” She glances at Daisy. “No offence.”  
“None taken,” Quake mutters, but Simmons looks insulted.   
“I had two PHD’s by Seventeen, but alright then,” she mutters huffily.  
Tony whistles, squinting at the vitals results. “Would do, Lewis, but this is way out of my league.”  
“You made a flying suit whilst kidnapped with some hunks of metal,” Darcy replies flatly, “You mean to tell me you can’t reverse whatever voodoo is going on inside me?”

Tony makes a face, taking in the results some more, comparing them with normal looking bloods. With a pang Darcy realises that they’re her old results, and how vastly different they are to the new ones. “I’m sorry, kiddo,” Tony says and he sounds earnest. That’s what worries her the most. “But I don’t think I can. Science I can do-”  
“If you say magic, I will punch you in your stupid goatee,” Darcy threatens and Tony blinks.  
“I was going to say E.T. shit. Have you asked Thor?”  
“Not a good idea,” Bobbi says. “Last time an Asgardian got involved in an inhuman case, our based got wrecked and they tried to bring them to Asgard.” Darcy looks at Daisy, alarmed, and the agent ducks her head. 

“I’m sorry, Darcy. I know this is difficult, but it’s in your blood. It’s an awakening, it’s who you were meant to be-” Daisy tries.  
“This is not who I am!” Darcy stands suddenly, angry. “I’m in intern. A student. Just an average, regular girl who probably consumes too many cookies and too much rum, boring apart from who I hang out with. I am not an Inhuman!”  
None of their eyes were on her, they were all looking at something behind her. Darcy turns, takes in the chair and equipment hovering off the ground before it slams to the ground and she lets out a miserable, “well, fuck.”


	18. Chapter Eighteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Back again with another update. Hope you all like the story so far! So I hope you stick with me. I swear you'll enjoy it. Enjoy!
> 
> Song Recommendations: Hear You Me by Jimmy Eat World, Ava by Famy, and Sympathy by The Goo Goo Dolls.

Chapter Eighteen.

What would you think of me now,  
so lucky, so strong, so proud?  
I never said thank you for that,  
now I'll never have a chance.  
May angels lead you in.  
Hear you me my friends.  
On sleepless roads the sleepless go.  
May angels lead you in.  
\- 'Hear You Me' by Jimmy Eat World.

 

“She’s not handling this very well,” Steve comments a few hours later. He was with Barton in the cockpit, having taken over from May. Barton snorts.   
“You think?”  
Darcy, to her credit, had not gone hysterical. She had, however, moaned how it wasn’t fair and even stamped her foot a little, before she had let Daisy drag her away to talk, promising no more bullshit spiels. Steve still looked perplexed, so Barton felt the need to explain. “People like us, Steve, are always striving to be more than we are. Be better. Darcy was confident in who she was, happy with who she was. And now she’s someone completely different. So no,” he finishes, “she’s not taking this well at all.” 

They land at the Avengers base about an hour later, and Jane and Selvig were waiting for them as the jet eases into the bay. Darcy eases down the ramp and Jane flings herself at Darcy with surprising force for such a small woman.   
“I was so worried!” Jane cries and Darcy catches her with a grunt. 

“Careful, Janey, torture and super serums make you super sore.” Darcy reminds her half-heartedly. Jane quickly detaches herself, but stays beside her. She doesn’t ask Darcy if she’s okay, as she knows she isn’t. She doesn’t do more than glance at her boyfriend who she hasn’t really seen in over a month because he’s been on another planet. She doesn’t ask Darcy what was done to her or attempt humour. Instead- because she is an amazing friend and Darcy will love her forever- Jane slips her hand into Darcy’s, fixes Steve with a terrifying look that leaves no room for arguments, and turns to Darcy and says “I fixed your room up for you. Come on, let’s get you cleaned up,” before leading her away, leaving Selvig to deal with the others, reminding Darcy that no matter how much she likes the various and ever changing rota of Avengers, they will always be a unit of three.

When Bucky is announced by FRIDAY at Darcy’s door the next morning bearing a carryout of tea and coffee and a bag of pastries delivered this morning, he isn’t surprised that Doctor Foster is the one to answer the door, yawning. She doesn’t look surprised to see him either, and her face lights up when she sees what’s in his hands.   
“Is that coffee?” she demands and Bucky has barely nodded before the astrophysicist was ripping one of the cups from him, taking a long gulp before sighing happily. “Thanks,” Jane adds as an afterthought and Bucky nods.

“No problem.” He glances round the scientist before asking, “Where is Thor?” knowing the Asgardian had offered to stay the night with Jane and Darcy. Sweet offer as a friend, doubled as protection for Jane and Darcy- from Darcy.   
“With the other Avengers. He has business to take care of before he goes.”  
“Goes?” Bucky questions, and Jane nods, fiddling with the lid of her coffee cup sadly before answering.

“He has to go back to Asgard. Odin- Thor’s father- has been having their guardian keep watch ever since Thor came back. And he is pissed about the Inhumans. Thor’s going back to reason with him.”  
“What is their deal with these- Inhumans?” Bucky’s confusion is clear.   
“Inhumans come from another alien race, the Kree. Asgardians and Kree have some hatred of each other, so the Asgardians really weren’t happy about the Kree’s science experiment. They’ve been relatively lowkey-”  
“Until now,” Bucky realises and Jane inclines her head.   
“So Thor has to go back to explain to his father, explain that the Inhumans are fine on earth. I was hoping he’d get to stay a little longer this time, but duty calls,” she explains before shooting him a smile. “Thanks again for the coffee.”

“Jane only like coffee as much as she likes science. And oxygen. And Thor,” Bucky hears Darcy joke as Jane leads him into Darcy’s apartment. She’s lying on the couch with a blanket around her, some reality show on low volume in the background. She cranes round to smile at Bucky as he holds up the tea and pastries.   
“Figured you’d want breakfast,” he says, taking in the flowery quilt and pillow thrown on the far side of the sofa and the S.H.I.E.L.D. issued blanket folded neatly on the armchair, one of Thor’s jackets draped over the back of it. He was glad Darcy had protection that night, but he couldn’t help but feel guilty that it wasn’t him. 

“You brought tea?” Darcy asks, and Bucky nods.   
“Simmons offered her teabags, said you might like them better than the ones bought here. Her parents send them.”   
Darcy takes a sip and sighs. “I was born to be British,”  
“With a name like Darcy? Yeah, probably,” Bucky agrees and Darcy gives him a small smile.  
Jane snags a Danish and bends down to hug Darcy. “I’d better get back to the lab. I’ll leave you two lovebirds to it.”

“Oh- Uh- we aren’t-” Bucky and Darcy stammer over each other, and Jane fixes them both with a look.   
“Sure. I was on those comms, you know,” she reminds them, and Darcy pales as she gives her one last squeeze. “Come see me later, okay?” Jane says quietly and Darcy nods.  
Jane is almost at the door when Darcy calls her. “Hey Jane?” the astrophysicist stops and turns expectantly. “Those things I said when I was in there- I didn’t-”  
“Mean them? I know. I love you too.” Jane gives her a smile, takes in her best friend- battered, bruised and different, but still here and still her best friend- before being satisfied enough to leave. 

Silence settles between the pair and Bucky almost feels like he shouldn’t be here as he hovers near the exit. But then he remembers that he’s one of the few people who knows what she’s going through. He could ask her how she was, how did she sleep, and what did they do to her. But that wouldn’t help her. Instead, he asks- “what do you remember?”   
Daisy closes her eyes. “Bits and pieces.”  
“What do you remember about you?” he asks again. “When I was starting to remember, I wrote down everything I could remember. Places, people, facts, anything and everything, slowly piecing together my life. I had about twelve notebooks I carried about in a bagpack and I was willing to leave everything but that bag. But I’d try and remember key pieces of information, so hopefully I’d never lose everything. So I’d always remember that I was someone before what HYDRA made me.” 

Darcy is silent for a moment and Bucky doesn’t think she’s going to do it when she sits up straighter and starts.   
“My name is Darcy Lewis. I’m twenty four years old. I studied at Culver University. I interned for Jane Foster. I worked with the Avengers. My best friends are Jane Foster and Clint Barton. I monitored the progress of James Buchanan Barnes. I was a guest at Tony and Pepper’s wedding where I was kidnapped by HYDRA,” to her credit, Darcy doesn’t get choked up or falter, and continues on bravely. “I was tortured and experimented on, and was forced to attack my friends. I can move objects without touching them,” she laughs shortly, demonstrating by turning off the T.V. without touching anything. “I’m an inhuman. And I’m not entirely sure who I am anymore,” she whispers and Bucky- who had been drawn closer by her story- puts a hand on her shoulder as a sign of solidarity. 

You’ll figure it out, doll,” he says simply, and she gives him a smile, placing her hand on top of his.   
“Are you okay?” she asks him carefully, “did I-” Darcy finds herself unable to finish that sentence, the idea of having caused pain to her friends and innocents unbearable.   
“I’m fine,” Bucky assures her. “I’ve faced way worse.” Seeing Darcy’s face crumple, he back tracks hastily. “I’ve been put in many choke holds, but none like that. May is okay too. Said something about always being thrown about by inhumans, whatever that means.”  
“As long as nobody got hurt,” Darcy concedes. 

“We’re fine. You’ll be fine. It’ll take some time but you’ll get your memories back- the serum Fitz and Simmons worked on has already sped up the process, and we’ll be here to coach you.” Bucky doesn’t notice her ashen face until he gets a good look at her and realises her sadness is not just because of her new status as a HYDRA survivor. “What is it?” he asks and Darcy visibly steels herself.  
“James….” She starts, trying to find the best way to tell him before deciding blunt is the only way. “I’m going with S.H.I.E.L.D.”

“You’re what?!” Bucky exclaims, “Are you crazy?”  
“Yeah,” Darcy shoots back, “that’s kind of the point.”  
“Are they taking you?” he asks angrily.  
“No! No. I asked. It’s already been cleared with Steve, and I’ve already told Jane. She’ll probably be happy to have people working for her that knows what she’s talking about.” 

Bucky stares at her, unblinking. “Why?” he asks, confused.   
“It’s like the Jedi’s, James. They all needed to go to Jedi school to learn.”   
“This isn’t Star Wars, Darcy. This isn’t a movie.”   
“Well I am not one with the Force, and it is definitely not one with me,” she argues.   
“Darcy.”   
“I have these powers. I’m stuck with them, with this whole thing. I need to learn how to use them. I’m not doing a Darth Vader again.” 

“But we can help you,” Bucky tries.   
“I know you can. But it’s not your job. You are the Avengers, you’re supposed to save the world. Not babysit.”  
“And that’s S.H.I.E.L.D.’s job?” he asks.  
“Coulson has Daisy running a team of inhumans. We’re being taught to harness our powers, and if we make the cut we can join the team and help find others like us.”  
“What about the mind control?” Bucky asks, “How can they help with that?”  
“They’ve dealt with HYDRA mind control before,” Darcy answers shortly.   
“Not like us,” Bucky reminds her. “Not like me.”

“James,” Darcy says pleadingly. “Please don’t make this harder than it already is.”  
Bucky stares at Darcy. She’s flung the blanket aside and is looking at him defiantly. She’s still weak and in pain in more ways than one, but she is still here. She stands, hiding her grimace and pulls herself up to her full height in front of him.   
“I’m not asking for your permission, or your blessing,” she says evenly. “I know you’re mad- but I need to do this. It’s important to me. I just want to know you won’t hate me. I’m not asking you to like my decision, but I’m asking you to understand it.” 

Bucky looks at her for a long moment. And he understands. The need to escape away, to figure herself out. He had done the same thing after rescuing Steve off the helicarrier- he couldn’t be with him. Not yet. And maybe Darcy resents the Avengers. Ward was looking for Daisy, but he wouldn’t have taken Darcy if she hadn’t gotten in with the Avengers.   
He understands, like she knew he would. And he could never hate her for it.   
“I could never hate you,” he says, and it’s only when he speaks the words he realises how true they are. He could never hate her for circumstances that were beyond her control. He reaches for her hand and she squeezes his in return. “So where is this S.H.I.E.L.D. base?” he asks and she looks at him apologetically. 

“I can’t tell you. I don’t know. They haven’t told me- I’m not sure if it’s protocol or if it’s ‘she’s been brainwashed and we don’t want another base destroyed.’”   
“It could be either,” he answers solemnly, and they both laugh. The laughter turns to comfortable silence as Bucky eyes the bags by Darcy’s bedroom door. “When do you leave?” he asks quietly, and she sighs.   
“We’re leaving at noon.” Bucky glances at the clock and notes that it gave them about three hours. 

There were so many things that Darcy wanted to say, but she felt she couldn’t- not with everything that had happened, not with her leaving. And asking him if he really meant what he said in that basement suddenly seemed too painful, and she wasn’t sure she wanted the answer.   
Instead, she asks, “do you think I’ll get a supersuit too? I’ve always wanted one of those.”  
“Make sure you say no leather,” he advises, “you couldn’t handle the heat.”

X.x.X

It was a quiet affair. There were no long drawn out goodbyes or crying, no one throwing themselves on Darcy and begging her not to go, though Jane looks like she might be close. Everyone had come to the hanger to say goodbye. Rhodey and Sam gives her quick, no nonsense goodbyes- both men well used to them. Wanda whispers something in her ear that no one else catches, but Darcy gives her a grateful smile that makes Bucky curious. Steve tells her to take care of herself as he hugs her, enveloping her with his huge frame. Tony produces a pair of prescription sunglasses and a basket of fruit seemingly from nowhere, and tells her to give Coulson as much trouble as she can.

Natasha gives her some tech Darcy hopes she never has to use, but considering the line of work she was going into, she took them gratefully, including the cute hold all belt she would seriously consider wearing every day, and the gun she would not. Clint gives her some solid advice about how to hijack and fly a jet if necessary, revisiting an old lesson, and gives her a compass, saying “when all else fails, it will always bring you someplace safe.”  
Erik gives her a long hug and a pat on the back, fondness and a tinge of regret in his eyes, knowing what it feels like to have someone else in your head. Jane hugs her tightly, their two dark heads pulled together. “Remember to sleep and eat, Jane,” Darcy pleads, “science can wait.”  
“Try not to get yourself killed, okay?” Jane exchanges, “I won’t be there to get you out of it.”

“Hear this, Son of Coul. If anything happens to my sworn sister, you will come to regret it,” Thor says, more of a promise than a threat.  
“It wouldn’t be the first time an Asgardian has trashed our base,” Coulson replies.  
Thor nods. “Excellent. Sif knows where it is.”  
Bucky could swear he sees Coulson sweat a little. “Understood,” the Director of S.H.I.E.L.D. says, nods at the group from the Avengers base, and leads his team onto the jet.   
Darcy remains, detangling herself from Jane and coming to a standstill in front of Bucky. “Well, that’s me,” she says, glancing behind her at the jet as May and Bobbi do flight checks. 

“Blink three times and howl if they’re taking you against your will,” Bucky snarks and Darcy grins.   
“I’m going to miss you,” Darcy admits and Bucky shrugs.   
“You only keep me around for my pretty face.”  
“That and your hair. I think it possesses magical qualities,” she agrees.   
“I could go with you, you know,” Bucky suggests seriously, and Darcy gives him a soft smile.

“I know. But you’re needed here. I’m not going to do that to you.”  
“Did you mean what you said in that basement?” Bucky asks, unable to let her go without knowing.   
In answer, Darcy strokes his face before leaning up to kiss him. She could have stayed in that moment forever, but this was a goodbye, and they didn’t have the luxury of a fairy-tale ending.   
“Every word,” she whispers before pulling away, stepping back and onto the jet without so much as a look back.


	19. Chapter Nineteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Hope you're enjoying so far. :) So there's been a gap between the last chapter and this one, in case you can't tell. Welcome to phase three. ;) Enjoy!
> 
> Song Recommendations: American Oxygen by X Ambassadors, I Can't Go On Without You by Kaleo, and Waste A Moment by Kings of Leon.

Chapter Nineteen. 

Oh so, what's the point in breaking my sweet heart?  
She wanted me to let down my guard  
Well, you know what they say, it's better that way  
So, so you better hush and walk away.  
\- 'I Can't Go On Without You' by Kaleo.

Bucky wakes to the distinct feeling of falling. He shoots upright in his bunk and leaps up, heading for the cockpit. “What’s happening?” he asks as he slides into the co-pilot’s seat, buckling in and putting in his headset.   
“We took a hit at some point and it must have nicked the fuel tank and we’re running out faster than anticipated,” Barton replies, flipping switches and sending coded messages out.   
“The government has all nearby airfields on lockdown, we’ve no way of getting in without handing ourselves over,” Bucky realises with a curse.  
Clint shakes his head. “They get you, it’s over. You’re handed straight to T’Challa and Steve will turn himself over. My job was to help get you to Steve, not end the whole goddamn resistance.”

“Do you have anywhere we can go?” Bucky asks and Clint shakes his head.  
“No where we can get directly to by jet,” Clint admits, struggling to maintain control as their altitude drops dramatically.   
“So our best bet is landing as close to people as possible so they’ll be less likely to shoot on sight,” Bucky says flatly, the idea getting less appealing by the second.  
“At the rate we’re going down, close to civilians shouldn’t be a problem. We’re coming in too hot,” Clint answers, and he’s right. They’re on the outskirts of Chicago, but there are smatterings of houses around the place.   
“They’re not too far behind on the ground,” Bucky informs Hawkeye, “maybe six miles.”

“Shit. We’re going down, brace yourself,” Barton grunts as they start to plummet more nose first, their descent picking up speed. Bucky closes his eyes- aware this might be it. Whether they survive the crash or not, Ross and Stark would still come for them, and he didn’t want his last sights to be a dashboard and a quickly approaching ground- when suddenly the jet jerks to a halt. Bucky and Clint are pushed against their belts, gravity taking hold on them in a way it wasn’t the jet, which appeared to be balancing on its nose.  
“What’s happening?” Clint asks, glancing round at the now dark cockpit. 

“No clue,” Bucky responds, “maybe it’s some kind of magnet?” The rest of the plane lowers with a jolt, leaving them in an upright position. Both men leap out of their seats and grab their gear and respective weapons, ready for a fight as the cockpit’s door opens.   
Bucky squints against the glare at the figure in the doorway with his gun raised, and isn’t sure if he’s more surprised by Daisy Johnson sauntering on-board with a cheerful, “did somebody call for roadside assistance?” or Clint’s relaxing shoulders as he says,   
“Oh thank god.”

Bucky clicks as Daisy informs them they don’t have much time and leads them off the jet. “Coulson,” Bucky realises. “You were reaching out to Coulson.” It made sense. Before Coulson had ‘died’, he had been Clint’s handler, of course in his hour of need Clint would turn to the man who had helped him out of many tight spots.   
“We’re not with Coulson,” Daisy informs him as she goes over to another figure, slumped but on guard- and claps them on the back. “Good job.”  
Bucky feels his heart quicken as the person straightens. “Clint didn’t contact Coulson,” Darcy says as she turns to meet Bucky’s eyes. “He contacted me.”  
“Your hair,” is the first thing Bucky can think to say. It’s shorter, just brushing her shoulders and a lighter colour too, and Darcy touches it self-consciously.   
“Yeah, it’s kind of a thing at S.H.I.E.L.D. Life changing trauma, get a haircut.”

“I take it Chicago wasn’t your destination?” Daisy asks and Clint shakes his head.   
“Not even close.”   
“I know somewhere we can go, but we need to get them off our tail first,” Daisy says and Darcy holds up binoculars.   
“They’re coming in too hot, if we take off now they’ll lock on even if we’re cloaked.”   
“Then we need to think of something, and fast,” Clint says, his hand twitching towards his arrows. 

“If we hurt them, we appear even worse than they already think. We wouldn’t be doing ourselves any favours, and they’d shoot us on sight,” Darcy reminds him.  
Bucky’s jaw ticks, his mind whirring with everything. How different Darcy is, the fact they’re in this mess. If Steve is alright, how they’re going to get out of this. “I’ll go distract them so you guys can get away.”  
Darcy grabs his arm with more strength than had been there last time he had seen her. “And hand you over to T’Challa? Not a chance. Last time you were used as a ‘distraction’,” Darcy uses mocking quotation marks with her hands, “it turned into a shit show. Just follow my lead,” she hisses at him as the Humvees roll in round them. 

General Ross and his men are out within seconds, weapons raised. “Well look who we have here,” he says. “The Archer Avenger, The Winter Soldier, the girl that can shake mountains and Dr. Jane Foster’s intern.” The fact that he seems unaware of Darcy’s status as an Inhuman does escape any of them.   
“Who exactly is this?” Daisy grits out and Darcy flashes Ross a dirty look.   
“Oh nobody, just the asshole that made Bruce Banner the way he is and hunted him down for years.”  
“Exactly. I made his life a living hell, and I’ll do the same to all of yours if you don’t turn yourselves in.”  
“You know this is going to cause a war, Ross,” Clint reminds him and General Ross smiles.  
“That’s why we are prepared for one, Barton.”

“Stop!” Darcy yells and stumbles forward, hands up in surrender. “Please don’t hurt me. I’ll come with you.”  
“Lewis, I presume?” Ross asks curtly and she nods. “Your record says you left the Avengers facilities to join the newly reassembled S.H.I.E.L.D. Unofficially.”  
“Since we’re unofficial, yeah. I did. There’s different types of Agents and in the world we live in, I wanted to be able to protect myself rather than be protected. I didn’t know this would happen!” she rambles, and Clint orders,  
“Darcy, stop!”  
Darcy shakes her head viciously at him. “No, Clint. This is not what I wanted. And this is not what I planned. And I just got to say, I don’t understand how I got dragged into this mess.”  
“Darcy,” Daisy hisses, “what about everything we’ve been through?” but Darcy ignores her, straightens and faces General Ross.   
“I’ll tell you what you want,” she says evenly, “everybody knows I’m in over my head.” 

Darcy’s hands stiffen in their surrender position just slightly, and you would only notice if you were looking for it. It was enough for Daisy and Clint to drop low to the ground, dragging Bucky with them as the force of Darcy’s powers fling Ross and his men back. Daisy fires a hand out and the ground between them splits open, causing a ridge. “Go!” Clint shouts as they scramble to their feet. Daisy leads the way and taps at something on her watch as their jet suddenly appears.   
Clint automatically heads to the cockpit and starts flipping switches, the jet roaring to life. “There’s more coming and they have tanks,” Bucky grits out, checking the heat signals on the computer. 

“I could use help getting off the ground, Johnson,” Clint says and Daisy nods and heads to the cockpit with him.   
“This could get a little bumpy,” she warns.  
“They’re nearly on us,” Bucky informs them, readying his sniper rifle.  
Darcy cracks her neck and head to the middle of the jet. “Lower the landing gear,” she demands. Bucky does so without question and only hesitates when he comes over to the lowering wheels at the fact she uses him to steady herself instead of sending him down.   
“Are you sure about this?” he questions, and judging by the death grip she has on his arm with one hand whilst she clings to the pole with the other, she doesn’t seem very sure at all. 

“Yeah. Yeah. It’ll be fun,” she insists and deems herself steady enough to let go of Bucky and outstretch her arm to the coming tanks. Her outstretched arm quivers with effort whilst the arm holding her to the pole remains steady, the wind whipping her hair, the noise of the engine mixed with the unmistakable sound of Daisy’s powers as they rise up through the air. Bucky can’t see what Darcy has done, but he hears Daisy say,   
“They’re off our tail. Floor it,” along with co-ordinates. 

“Hey, little help here, Barnes? Just don’t drop me,” Darcy warns, carefully raising a hand up and locking it with Bucky’s as he pulls her up effortlessly and then secures the landing gear, dropping her hand immediately.   
“What did you do?” he asks as Darcy taps on her tablet and the cargo ramp lowers.  
“See for yourself,” she offers and Bucky peers out and sees the tanks forming a blockade, the cannons of the tanks twisted into knots. Bucky looks to Darcy, stunned, unaware how much her powers had grown. Aware of his eyes on her, Darcy lets her guard down for a second and allows a grin to light up her face. “I know,” she agrees, “S.H.I.E.L.D. training? Totally awesome.”


	20. Chapter Twenty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Chapter Twenty now, we've only around seven chapters left! :( The reaction to this story so far has been unreal I'm so happy you have been liking it and stuck with it through all my mean-ness! I hope you enjoy. :)
> 
> Song Recommendations: Wreck Of The Day by Anna Nalick, Weight Of It All by Handsome Ghost, and All The Things Lost by MS MR.

Chapter Twenty.

Driving away from the wreck of the day  
And it's finally quiet in my head  
Driving alone, finally on my way home to the comfort of my bed  
And if this is giving up, then I'm giving up.  
-'Wreck Of The Day' by Anna Nalick. 

“High School Musical, Lewis? Really?” Clint asks when they’re in the air, and Darcy shrugs, tugging at her gloves.   
“I panicked, it was all I could think of. It was funny,” Darcy protests, and Daisy snorts.   
“’The Fray’ was a good idea though, good signal.”

Seeing Bucky’s confused look, Darcy explains. “They’re songs. I said lyrics, Clint and Daisy realised what was up, got the over my head reference. Daisy and I trained with music, and Clint stole my Ipod. If they weren’t going to get it, nobody would.”  
“Nobody else would know your music library,” Daisy says dryly while Clint rolls his eyes.  
“You are never going to get over that, are you?”

“How bad is it?” Daisy asks the question that had been on everyone’s mind. They were in a derelict apartment complex Daisy knew of, that usually held the big and the bad- as she had pointed out they were bigger and badder. Bucky doesn’t look away from the window as he answers curtly,   
“Bad.”  
Sensing Daisy may strangle them if she doesn’t get more answers, Clint elaborates. 

“Everyone has scattered. Stark- since he’s on books- is at base, Rhodes and Vision are with him. They have two problems. The Registration Act- Cap isn’t going for it at all, the lack of anonymity feels an awful lot like giving up your freedom, something we ain’t too happy about. Stark is pretty gung ho about it though, General Ross and his men are backing them up.”  
“Where’s Nat?” Darcy asks, taking in every piece of information carefully. “Is she already with Steve?” 

Clint can’t seem to look her in the eyes when he says, “No. Natasha decided that after all her secrets were aired and covers were blown, those secrets were what got us into this mess. She’s with Tony, technically, but I think she’s biding her time. If I know Nat- which I do- she’s trying to find a way out of this.”   
“This is insane,” Darcy says forcefully. “How the hell did this happen?” Whilst nobody had the answer, Clint was able to provide some more insight.   
“Well- there is another driving factor,” Clint says carefully.   
“Me,” Bucky answers, “he means me.”

“I don’t understand why they’re only coming for you now,” Daisy exclaims, “If they wanted a war trial they would have done it months ago.”  
“It’s not us that wants you,” Darcy realises, and Bucky nods.  
“King T’Challa of Wakanda,” Bucky says flippantly, but Darcy knows that tone. That’s the tone he uses to talk about his time as the Winter Soldier- one he uses to hide his pain. “When I was under HYDRA’s control I killed his father. Since I’m not untouchable anymore and he found out I’m not a ghost, he’s out for blood. He’s in running with Stark.” Darcy shakes her head. She didn’t understand why Tony would side with someone out for blood. She understood that he felt they had to be held accountable, but to be so vengeful over something he knew wasn’t Bucky’s fault was unlike him. She saw something in his eyes that made her drop it, but she makes a mental note to bring it up with him if she gets a chance. 

“You can’t be held accountable for something that wasn’t your doing,” Daisy insists. “You were a prisoner of war. None of that was your fault. You weren’t the one pulling the trigger, you were the freaking gun.”  
“They can’t get Barnes,” Clint summarises, “if they get him, they get Steve, and this was all for nothing.”   
“Please tell me you know where Steve is,” Darcy sighs, going back to checking supplies as Clint nods.   
“We just have to get there. We were on our way there but we got intercepted. Thanks for the save, by the way,” he adds and Darcy shrugs.   
“All in the day of a not-so-S.H.I.E.L.D. agent.”

“Coulson?” Clint asks, and Daisy looks unhappy.  
“We’re small and unofficial, and we don’t have the man power to fight against what would rain down on us. Stark knows we exist, he could out us if we crossed a line. Phil’s not too happy about it, but officially, S.H.I.E.L.D. is sitting this one out. So if anyone asks, they’re with Stark and everyone still there has been registered.”  
“Still there?” Clint asks, and Daisy has to look away.

“We’re down some agents. Bobbi and Hunter- there was an incident in Russia-”  
“The dead General?” Bucky asks and Darcy nods.   
“They took a hit for the team and have been disavowed.”  
Clint shakes his head. “Good agents.”  
“Good people,” Daisy amends and Clint inclines his head.   
“How did you find us?” Bucky asks something that had been bothering him, and in answer Darcy pulls something out of her belt and throws it to him. 

“That.”  
Bucky opens his hand to see the compass Clint had given Darcy when she was leaving.   
“You were acting like a cryptic Yoda when you gave it to me, I knew something was up. But it was only when things started going down I knew how to look.”  
“They aren’t co-ordinates,” Bucky realises and Clint smirks to himself as he checks over his arrows.   
“It’s a frequency. I knew it would lead me to Clint.”  
“Once she cracked it I’d been staying in tune to that frequency and weren’t far behind when we got the distress call,” Daisy explains.   
Darcy looks to Clint, shaking her head. “You knew this was coming, didn’t you?” she asks.

“I suspected something was brewing,” Clint admits. “It was only a matter of time before something came back to bite us on the ass, and I wanted you to be ready when it happened. You were leaving, but I didn’t want you to be alone.”  
“Jane-” Darcy begins,   
“is okay,” Clint finishes for her. “She’s staying well out of it and in her science! Bubble. As long as we don’t contact her and she doesn’t know where you are, they’re going to leave her alone.”  
“Civil War, Stark doesn’t mind,” Bucky mutters, “war with a god over his girlfriend? Not so much.”   
Darcy nods to herself, repeating, “She’s okay.” 

“So what was your plan?” Clint asks the two women, “if Coulson is staying out of it, why are you here?”  
Daisy narrows her eyes. “I’m not a spy, if that’s what you’re saying. Well, I am, but not in this situation.”  
“I never said that,” Clint says evenly as Darcy shoots him a look.  
“Daisy is my S.O. She’s solid.”

“Look, I’ve been on a register and know what it’s like to be under a microscope. Before I joined S.H.I.E.L.D. I was with the Rising Tide-”  
“You were part of that crap?” Clint huffs and Daisy ignores him.  
“I was wrong. The world needs S.H.I.E.L.D.- but it needs superheroes too. It needs immediate action without a board meeting to decide whether you can save someone’s life or not.” 

“And why are you here?” Bucky asks Darcy coolly, expressing anger for the first time since they’d met up. “You were at S.H.I.E.L.D. You were out of it. You were safe.”  
Darcy levels her eyes at him as she answers steadily. “They were after you.”


	21. Chapter Twenty-One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Hope you're enjoying so far.   
> In other news- I GOT TICKETS TO HAMILTON LONDON. Yay. For 2018. Boo. I'M WILLING TO WAIT FOR IT. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy!
> 
> Song Recommendations: Left Hand Free by Alt-J, Emeralds by Bear's Den, and Shadows of the City by Marcus Foster.

Chapter Twenty-One.

There are emeralds in the moon glow  
The storms raging through my mind  
Just a whisper in the shadows  
And I fell into the night.  
-Emeralds by Bear's Den.

 

Early the next morning Clint is packing their gear and Bucky is on lookout as Daisy and Darcy share a look. “We’re not going with you,” the latter announces and Clint’s grip tightens of his quiver.   
“Damnit, Darcy, you’re going to give me some kind of breakdown. And where do you think you’re going?”  
“We can’t turn up to Steve empty handed,” Daisy explains and Clint’s eyes narrow.  
“You’re not empty handed. You have Bucky and I. You saved us both.”

“Your job was to bring Barnes,” Darcy reminds him, “we still have a few information leads to chase up.”  
“Like hell,” Bucky says sourly from his position near the window.  
“Who?” Clint exclaims. “Who could possibly be more important than getting straight to- Jane,” he realises as Darcy nods.  
“She’s been living on base, Clint. She can get us something. What they’re planning.”

“You’re not going to be able to get near base, they know you’re both with us,” Bucky reminds them.   
Clint shakes his head. “You’re out of your mind if you think it’ll work.”  
“As someone who was out of her mind, I find that pretty insulting, Barton,” Darcy shoots back. Clint throws out his arms to the group, eyes bulging.   
“I count three out of four, Lewis.”   
Darcy flinches. In her anger she’d forgotten that Clint had been under mind control. Daisy intercepts, seeing this could go south pretty fast.

“Hear me out. All Ross knows is that Darcy was surrendering and they attacked by an enhanced. Me. Darcy just got scared and ran.”  
“And the tanks with knots in them?” Bucky asks dryly and Darcy has to look away. Daisy shrugs.  
“A new development.”   
Clint scoffs. “Okay, now you’re stretching so hard it’s like you’re trying to cross the Grand Canyon, Johnson.”  
“We are wasting time,” Darcy yells, “We will join you when we can. But we have a lead and we’re following it.”

Bucky considers this and considers Darcy. She isn’t the same girl she was six months ago, babbling and fumbling with medical equipment, a lab assistant with a mouth. She’s not even the same broken girl who left for S.H.I.E.L.D. three months ago. Then she was unstable, unsure and her head was a mess. Now she was calmer, focused, her powers had grown as she’d gained control. She was stronger, a trained field agent. She wasn’t the intern with the Taser, she was the weapon. Bucky knew she could handle herself, but she’d never been in a fight like this. 

Clint must realise what Bucky is thinking as he groans. “Why must everyone make my job so damn hard,” he mutters, and Darcy blinks. “We’re going with you.”   
Darcy opens her mouth to argue, and immediately shuts it. It would be hypocritical and wasting time if she were to throw a hissy fit and demand that Clint and Bucky don’t come with. Time was something they were short of, so she’d had to put on her big girl pants and deal with it.   
“Looks like I just get two more kids to babysit,” Clint says, resigned.  
Daisy rolls her eyes. “Please. If anyone is doing any body guarding around here, it’ll be us.”   
Bucky couldn’t help but think it was going to take a while to get used to that. 

“How are you planning to get in contact with her?” Bucky asks quietly once they’re in the jet. Darcy has her head buried in her tablet as she answers him.   
“We’ve been in contact this whole time,” she says matter-of-factly, and Bucky can’t hide the surprise on his face.   
“And nobody has picked up on it?”  
“Because I’m just a lab assistant, right?” she asks flatly.  
“Because they’re probably tracing the comings and goings of everyone.”

“They have to know where to look. Something is telling me a Justin Timberlake fan forum isn’t top of their list.”  
Bucky doesn’t bother asking who Justin Timberlake is, and that thought is confirmed by Daisy’s dreamy sigh.   
“I worry about you,” Clint sighs and Darcy can’t help the crooked grin that comes to her face.   
“It could be a trap,” Daisy admits and Darcy shrugs.   
“I’m willing to risk it.”

X.x.X

“And switch in three, two,” Bucky mutters as they switch directions effortlessly, coming to face a man in non-descript black clothing who keeps walking. So he wasn’t on their tail.   
“We’re wasting time,” Darcy hisses, her cap pulled low over her head, her arm tightening around Bucky’s waist. Bucky keeps his head down, his own similar hat shading his face, his gloved hand squeezing her shoulder. “Surveillance is well and good, but it is counter- surveillance that keeps you alive,” he replies with a fake smile on his face. He feels Darcy’s glower before he sees it. 

“I know, dumbass. I went to spy school. Kind of. It was more of an apprenticeship, learn-on-the-job type thing,” she amends. “If we don’t get to the meeting point she’ll assume we were caught and leave.”  
“If we go to the meeting point with a tail, she’ll end up in a cosy cell beside you while I’m shipped off to a Wakandan prison, best case scenario,” Bucky points out.   
Darcy is silent after that. 

The pair delve into the agreed bookshop and wind further and further into it, noting a spiralling staircase that led to a fire door on their way. They positioned themselves behind a shelf, waiting for a figure to appear two rows over. Having spotted the signal book Darcy’s power knocks it off the shelf, and she notices the change in the air.   
“Someone is coming,” she whispers and Bucky’s fist tightens. A figure bends over, picks up the book and stands back up again.   
“Darcy?” a voice murmurs and Bucky stiffens.  
“That’s not Foster.”

The voice seems familiar to Darcy and she almost doesn’t place it, and Bucky’s half way to go knock the person out before she remembers. “Wait,” she hisses, grabbing a hold of his arm. She peers over the shelf in front of her and immediately recognises the gangly person trying to look casual the next shelf over.   
“Who is that?” Bucky mutters and protests as Darcy steps out of cover and the protection of the shelves.   
“Ian?” Darcy asks disbelievingly, and Ian drops the book in surprise.

“Darcy! I didn’t even know if you were here, you guys really are very quiet. Oh, hello,” Ian blabs, and with his English manners has the curtesy to only look mildly alarmed. “I’m Ian.” Ian sticks his hand out, and Bucky eyes him from his fingerless gloves to his converse, not unlike the ones Darcy used to wear.   
“This is England?” he asks flatly, and Darcy drags Ian to their hiding spot.  
“What are you doing here? Where’s Jane?” 

“A few months ago I got a job offer to come work in the labs at the Avengers facility in upstate New York. Free reign to come and go as I please. Jane managed to pass information to me but she couldn’t come, Darcy, I’m sorry. They have her on lockdown ever since Ross told Mr Stark all who he almost caught.”  
Darcy paled visibly, and Bucky can see the guilt in her eyes. “Are Jane and Selvig okay?” she asks and Ian nods.  
“They’re bloody pissed, but alright. I thought Jane was going to take Tony.”

“That I would love to see,” Darcy agrees before thinking of something. “Wait- you took the job?” she asks accusingly, and Ian looks sheepish.  
“Well, yes. I couldn’t find anything as good and I already had the experience,” he stammers, and his ex-girlfriend looks indignant. Bucky smirks to himself, knowing full well England was about to get an earful.   
“Oh my God, I cannot believe it. You took my job! The one that was ‘too dangerous’,” Darcy scoffs, making quotation marks with her fingers.   
“Yeah well after what you’ve gotten yourself into it suddenly doesn’t seem so dangerous,” Ian counters, his voice getting uncertain as he asks, “What exactly have you gotten yourself into?”

Darcy shrugs and pats Ian on the arm. “I’ll let you know as soon as I do.”  
Bucky shifts, his expression unreadable. “We need to move, it’s not safe for any of us,” he mutters to Darcy and she shoots him a look.   
“Thank you, Ian. I know- I know you don’t want involved in this. The fact you came means a lot,” she admits, but there’s no lingering feelings there on either side. It is two friends who survived an alien invasion together surviving something else- same shit, different day.  
Ian gives her a hug, muttering, “be careful, Darce.”  
Darcy gives him a kiss on the cheek as he slips an envelope to her, and like that, they’re gone.


	22. Chapter Twenty-Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Sorry this is up so late my family is going through some stuff so I haven't had a chance. I hope you enjoy!
> 
> Song Recommendations: Moving Mountains by Skylar Grey, Delicate by Damien Rice (this song is literally one of the most beautiful things you'll ever hear 1000/10 recommend in general) and Made For You by Alexander Cardinale. (Funfact- this was the alternative title of the story because as soon as I heard it I was like WINTERSHOCK. ;_;)

Chapter Twenty-Two.

So why do you fill my sorrow  
With the words you've borrowed  
From the only place you've known  
And why do you sing Hallelujah  
If it means nothing to you  
Why do you sing with me at all?  
-'Delicate' by Damien Rice.

Darcy is quiet on their way back to their hideaway, seemingly a million miles away. Bucky glances at the woman beside him who is seemingly on auto-pilot. She’s watching everything except Bucky, eyes alert. Bucky hardly recognises her anymore, on the outside and in. Her choppy hair brushes the collar of her leather jacket, the light brown peeking out from underneath her cap. Her walk is unassuming but brisk, textbook operative. She’s dressed more practically than she used to- dark colours, many layers that are easy to get rid of. She’s calmer now, less flighty, more focused. Bucky finds himself struggling to read her whereas before she was like an open book. It’s only then he realises she’s a different person, a different Darcy, one of the many versions of her he’d met over the time since they first met. 

She side eyes him as they stop to look at the window display of a store. “Why are you staring at me?”  
Bucky shrugs as he takes her hand and tugs her away, to any passer-by looking like a young couple wandering the streets. “Just thinking about when I was the bodyguard is all,” he replies, and it’s at least partly true. This manages to draw a smile to her face, small though it may be.  
“Things sure have changed, huh?” she says carefully, and Bucky can feel their history in the air between them. When Darcy looks at him, her guarded eyes softening, he knows she feels it too. 

Bucky hears himself answer. “Yeah. They have.”  
He’s pretty sure there’s more layers than one when she speaks again. “Maybe not everything,” she says wistfully, and Bucky tightens his grip on her hand, and for just a second, they’re just a man and a woman with history, feeling a little thing called hope. 

They’re nearly back at their second safe house- Clint wasn’t taking any risks this time- when Darcy stiffens ever so slightly, just enough to alert Bucky to the fact something was wrong. She pulls him into the alley, her hands cupping his face. She’s close enough that he can see the determination glinting in her eyes, but there’s something else there too. Fear.   
“Do you trust me?” she asks earnestly, words from a different time, in a basement in a facility somewhere in Ireland.

Bucky searches her eyes for what she’s planning. “Always,” he answers, and it’s the truth. He trusts very few people, and Darcy is right up there at the top of that list with Steve. She kisses him, crushing her mouth to his and he’s not entirely sure why until she whispers,   
“I’m sorry.”  
He sees it in her eyes and his own widen.  
“Darcy don’t-” he starts, but he doesn’t get to finish that sentence as he is flung up through the air and lands on the rooftop of the building with a solid thump. Bucky groans and peers over the edge at Darcy, a force stopping him from getting off the roof.

“What the hell are you doing?!” he yells, but she’s already hurrying away.   
“I’ll meet you back there,” she yells back, “get back to the others.”  
“Damnit, Darcy,” Bucky mutters to himself, feeling an extra weight in his pocket that wasn’t there before, and realises that she’d somehow slipped the envelope of information to him. Bucky swears again. After ten minutes pass he is finally able to get off the roof. Knowing he had no chance of finding Darcy or knowing what change in the air she had sensed, he begrudgingly admitted defeat and headed back to their temporary base. They were nearly at Steve’s location but were taking precautions- not taking any direct routes and trying to get anyone off their tail. He arrived to an empty apartment- Clint and Daisy had left a coded note, they were out scouting the area and gathering supplies, not knowing what facilities there would be at where Steve was. There was no sign of Darcy. 

Unable to settle, he paced the small apartment, unusual for him. He was a sniper, an assassin, a man used to quiet stillness, able to sit still in any weather, in any position, yet he just couldn’t stay put or stay still. His body was filled up with pent up energy that only grew as the time stretched on.   
Bucky hears the door open and shut quickly and takes his vantage point, rifle at the ready.   
"It's me," Darcy calls. "Put the gun down."   
Bucky lowers his rifle and storms to the hallway. "Where the hell did you go? Don't do that. Don't just run off with no explanation and trap me on the goddamn roof!" He snaps, voice raised louder than it should be given that they're wanted fugitives. 

Darcy is abnormally quiet, shrugging out of her jacket and deposits it on a chair near the door. Her mundane activities were maddening, and Bucky could feel his anger rising.   
"Are you even listening to me?" He demands, "You could have been killed. You could have caught!"  
"Or worse, expelled?" Darcy replies finally and he glares at her.   
"Really funny, Lewis."   
"I didn't get caught," she says simply, brushing past him. "Forget about it." 

"You can't keep throwing yourself in dangers way like that, Darcy!" Bucky yells.   
That's my job. I'm supposed to keep you safe when Clint isn't here and I heard them coming. I took care of it."   
"What do you mean 'took care of it'?" He demands.  
"I-" Darcy falters for the first time since coming into the room. 

"You what? Nearly got yourself killed?" He asks angrily and she determinedly avoids meeting his blazing gaze.   
"Please stop," she whispers.   
"Why? Why should I when you never know how to?" He pushes and Darcy squeezes her eyes shut and takes a step away from him, trying to compose herself but can't help the mild shaking to the room, things starting to lift slightly before banging down again onto their surface. "Because I can't control it," she grits out, clenching her hands into fists in a desperate attempt to get it to stop. 

Bucky halts his attack for the first time, noticing the state Darcy is in. He takes a step away and puts his hands up. "I'm sorry. Look, you just- you scared the hell out of me."   
Darcy nods slowly, her head bopping up and down quickly, items still shaking and lifting. A glass goes flying into the wall and shatters, and Bucky's eyes widen.   
"Darcy," he says and he's not sure if it's a warning or trying to get through to her.   
"I'm sorry!" She cries, "I can't control it around you." With great effort the things slam onto the counter for a final time and she lets out a breath she didn't know she'd been holding. 

"What do you mean?" Bucky asks, his tone a lot softer than it had been.   
Darcy shook her head and went over to the glass, picking pieces up. "I don't know. There's something. I don't know was it the training or what, but I don't have as good of control as I normally do."   
"But- the plane-" Bucky questions, knowing all too well what the feeling of being out of control is like. 

Darcy concentrates on picking up the glass carefully before answering. "Is normal. Simmons and Lincoln thinks that the Inhuman side or whatever was activated and made stronger by the artificial enhanced process," she winces, her face shutting down. The process of torture, he can't help but think. Bucky recognises the look, he wore it on his face every day.   
"Daisy taught me a lot. Lincoln too, they're good at this. There's a couple more at the base, Joey and Elena. YoYo. But you were in the programming Ward put in me. You are ingrained in every code and brainwash and every day of my life for the six months before that. And now I have to protect you. Different sides- they're messing up my powers. I'm- I'm unstable," she mutters, utterly ashamed of herself. 

"Hey," Bucky calls her, "don't go there. Don't do this to yourself. It'll take time, it's only been a couple of months. You could control it before, you can control it again."   
Darcy barks out a laugh. "I'd say turn on the T.V. but we don't have one."   
"What?" Bucky asks, confused.   
Darcy shakes her head. 

"Darcy," Bucky commands. "What did you do?"   
"I- I just wanted to create a scene so they couldn't break through the barricade. Les Mis style, you know? But when I tried to jam the humvees together something went wrong, they had something pointed out the window and I panicked and- I flipped them," Darcy blurts out.   
"You flipped the humvees?" Bucky questions and she nods.   
"I didn't mean to hurt anyone," she cries, "it just happened. It's like I got a burst or something and they were coming for you and I had to protect you. You're important."   
"Darcy. I'm an assassin. I'm not that important." 

Darcy whips up to meet his gaze with surprising ferocity. "You're important to me!" She yells. "When will you get that into your head?" Darcy demands. "Steve cares about you. Natasha cares about you. Clint cares about you. I care about you!"   
"You left, Darcy!" He rebukes. "You left us!"   
"I left you. That's what you're saying, right? Well it felt like my insides were crawling out of my skin. I had power beyond imagination, I nearly killed most of my friends and frankly I couldn't deal with my boy issues!"   
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?!" Bucky explodes. "If there is anyone who is going to understand what was going on with you, it would be me!"

"Come on, James, you know what I'm talking about! I feel it and you feel it." Darcy squares up to him, eyes blazing. "Why do we always fight? Why was is ingrained in you to protect me, even when you're doing it wrong? Why do I do the same with you? I could have killed someone today, but as long as you were safe it didn't matter. How could you convince me to trust you when Hydra had made my every instinct scream to destroy? And damnit, why do we only kiss when one or both of us are about to do something stupid, self-sacrificing or we're in danger?"   
Bucky doesn't answer her for a while but watches her. Chest heaving, anger coursing through her veins. She goes to turn away but he stops her, words that he's kept inside and didn't know he was capable of for so long tumbling out. 

"I love you," he tells her, "despite everything. Despite how wrong this is and how it's dangerous and I don't know how to be with someone, I love you."   
Darcy stares at him and he releases her wrist. "Then what is the problem?" She asks softly. "You love me, I love you-"   
"You love me," Bucky asks, shocked. Darcy looks surprised at herself that she said it, the words so carefully guarded having slipped easily from her tongue.   
She considers back tracking, her every instinct screaming stop this, you're going to get hurt. But she'd been hurt anyway, keeping away, and she'd hurt him too. Some things are worth it. "I love you," she confirms. "I wouldn't have left you if I didn't, and I wouldn't have come back either." She takes a step towards him, any misdirected anger she had gone. "So what is stopping us?" She whispers, her mouth pressed to the hollow of his neck. 

Bucky lefts out a groan, tortured. "Because if anyone finds out- Ross, Hydra, a third party- they'll use you to get to me. You'll be bait, doll, and I couldn't live knowing you were hurt because of me."  
"You're being an idiot," Darcy snaps at him. "People hurt me and used me long before you came into my life, and they'll be doing it for even longer. I'm an enhanced inhuman, the only one. They will want me for that alone. Besides," she adds, and Bucky hears the lock on the door click, his willpower fading. "I think I can protect myself." 

"You're impossible, you know that?" Bucky sighs, his hands resting on her waist. "We're on the run, doll."   
Darcy peppers kisses along his throat, feeling his muscle constrict. "We also," she concedes between kisses, "might die at any given time. Or get captured. Or go out in a big blaze of glory. We're moving tonight to go to Steve's secure base. Who knows what is going to happen after that?"   
"You make a very good point," he admits. 

"I always do," Darcy triumphs, feeling him moving closer to her, his arms snaking around her waist, as his lips brush against hers. "We should make the most of it, then."   
Darcy surges up to kiss him, the height difference hindering her. They'd both let go at long last, all the bottled up emotion coming out into this kiss.   
Darcy feet were starting to hurt from stretching when Bucky- ever the gentleman- picked her up and set her down on the table, evening the height difference out a bit. She grins into his kiss as his body presses against her, both fighting for dominance.   
Bucky pulls away to breathe and chuckles when he feels a tug on his belt, both of Darcy’s hands wrapped in his hair. She gives him a cheeky smirk and he inclines his head with a boyish grin. 

“Easy, tiger,” he appeases. “I hear Barton and Johnson coming up the stairs.”   
Darcy untangles herself from Bucky with a sigh as they fix themselves as she acknowledges he's right, Clint and Daisy’s disruption in the air familiar to her now.   
Bucky has just fixed his belt and Darcy has hopped off the table and is trying to make it look like she's busy and unlocks the door when Clint and Daisy enter the safe house. Clint knows. She can tell by his expression, a weary one that says I'm too old for this, but also promises a world of mockery for Darcy later, and Darcy can barely look at the shit eating grin on Daisy’s face without bursting out laughing. 

Clint’s expression shifts to a more serious one as he turns to Darcy. “I heard something about three flipped humvees?” He asks and Darcy has the decency to look sheepish.   
“I don't know what happened, it got out of control?” She tries, and Clint examines her.   
“Damn right it did,” he grumbles.   
“We need to get to Steve and fast before anything else goes to shit.”


	23. Chapter Twenty-Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! This is my second time doing this as as soon as I hit post- Error. Ta, AO3. Anywho I really hope you enjoy this chapter, there are loads of references and wink wink nudge nudge's! 
> 
> I wanted to run something by you all, people have said they've enjoyed the songs I've posted so I was thinking once I finish the story of posting a chapter of the story's playlist? The whole playlist I listened to while writing this.  
> And also I was thinking of doing a behind the scenes type chapter with fun facts about the story and the process of writing it. I know I love behind the scenes stuff but I'm not sure you guys would want it. Let me know in the comments!
> 
> Song Recommendations: Last Words by Isaac Gracie, Power Over Men by Jamie T, and The Other Side of Mt. Heart Attack by Liars.

Chapter Twenty-Three.

How did I get here and can I get back  
I thought I was having fun, but no  
I was just looking for the one  
Always - looking for the one.  
-'Last Words' by Isaac Gracie.

“What is this place?” Daisy asks as they go round the back of the building, an old and weathered sign for Fogwell’s Gym.   
“It's where Steve said he'd be,” Clint grunts as he moves planks of wood blocking up the doorway. They duck and twist their way into the building, propping up the boards again as they move through the hallway and into the training room, faded posters lining the walls and a boxing ring in the middle, dusty from lack of use.   
“This is Cap’s secret hideaway?” Darcy asks incredulously as she looks around. 

Daisy pings the edge of the ring with a smirk. “This thing looks older than me.”   
“It looks older than James,” Darcy retorts, earning her a withering look.   
“Maybe so, but I still reckon I can take you on it,” Bucky replies, eyes scanning the room.   
“Any time, pretty boy. Any time,” Darcy grins and Clint leads them to a staff room, small and boxy. 

“I don't think Steve can fit in here, never mind any recruits,” Bucky grumbles.   
Clint glances around as Darcy closes the door behind them before heading to a book shelf on the wall. Finding what he was looking for, Darcy gets excited. “Please be a secret passageway, please be a secret passageway- yes!” She crows, pumping her fist. “I always wanted to see one of those,” she announces as Clint’s movement triggers the bookshelf to pop forward, and Bucky pushes it to the side to reveal a solid steel door, definitely not as old as the rest of the building. 

“Come on,” Daisy groans. “What do we do now? Blow the door open? Hack it? I can-“   
They hear comms activate and a voice calls over the speaker. “Lovely weather we’re having, isn't it?”  
Darcy narrows her eyes, the voice-crackling over comms- was so familiar.   
“Yes, but I always carry an umbrella,” Bucky replies, and Clint shrugs at Daisy's odd look. “Weird saying but okay.” 

There's a pause in communication until they hear the voice say, “so can I let them in now, or-“   
Darcy pushes her way to the front, eyes narrowed and hands on hips. “Yeah, you should really let us in, Foggy,” she stresses, Bucky turning to her in surprise. “You have a lot of explaining to do.”

“Shit,” Foggy says and Darcy rolls her eyes.   
“And turn off the fucking comms, Foggy. Turn off the comms.”   
The steel door opens and down the hall a man appears and heads towards the group. Darcy had hoped she was wrong, the voice had just sounded like her friend, but seeing the incredulous look on his face she knows it's him, and he's just as surprised to see her. 

"What are you doing here, Darcy?” Foggy asks, dumbfounded.   
“What am I- what are you doing here?!” She exclaims back at him, her eyes ready to bulge out of her head. “Offering legal counsel?” Foggy tries.   
“To superheroes?!” Darcy retorts and Foggy turns on her.   
“You said you were an assistant.”   
“I told you I worked for Jane Foster.”   
“As an intern!” Foggy exclaims and Bucky intervenes. 

“Look you guys can keep going at each other but- Steve?” He queries and Foggy nods.   
“Yes. Captain Rogers. Sorry.” Foggy gestures down the hallway and the group follow him, the heated conversation between Foggy and Darcy continuing. 

“I told you I worked with Jane Foster! Okay so maybe that position has changed within the last few months but this-“ she gestured round her, “is all within the parameters of my kind of weird. This is not your kind of weird, Foggy, you and Matt are avocados at law!”   
“I have no clue what that is supposed to mean,” Clint mumbles at Daisy shrugs. 

"Darcy I appreciate this is weird for you- this is all pretty new and weird for me too-“   
“Great! You can get out of this quicker-“   
“But the Registration Act is the wrong solution to the problem and we can help! Don't hate me. You can't tell me to get out of this when it isn't your fight either,” Foggy explains calmly.   
“You have no idea how much this most definitely is my fight! You wouldn't know because I haven't heard from you or Matt in half a year,” she accuses. 

Foggy scoffs, “yeah like you've been so easy to get a hold of the past few months-”  
“Hello, on the run from the government?” She tries. “Speaking of the devil, where the hell is Matt? Where one of you is the other isn't far behind.”   
“Darcy-” Foggy tries but she talks over him, lost in her own anger as they finally wind down into a room.   
“I hope you at least had the sense to leave him out of-this,” she finishes flatly, taking in the sight in front of her. 

It was a makeshift war room, with tables, chairs and maps, files of information around the place alongside private eye photographs. She could see people throughout the room, Ones she recognised- Sam, Wanda, who made a beeline for Clint-- alongside ones she didn't. At a table Steve was standing up, grinning, as Bucky made his way towards him. 

However in a corner nearby sat a blonde haired woman Darcy vaguely recalled- seen briefly through a bar window, tall and slim- and a man with a suit in front of him. A man with bruises on his face, one she recognised from years of jokes and heart ache and stories shared over beers, the face of the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen, her friend, Matt Murdock. 

“Fuck no.”   
The words are flying out of her mouth before she can stop them, and she can see Matt wince.   
“Darcy-” he starts, standing and walking towards her as Foggy joins him.   
“No. No way. Seriously? Are you fucking serious?” 

“Come on, Darce, just give us a chance to explain,” Matt says reasonably, but Darcy isn't feeling reasonable. She's feeling put out like a child who isn't getting what she wants. Matt and Foggy were a specific part of her life away from all the weird shit, and now they were in the thick of it. And perhaps selfishly, Darcy wanted one part of her life that was just normal. 

"You're Daredevil?” She explodes, feeling her anger rise. Matt nods and she whirls to Foggy.   
“And you knew about this?”   
Foggy’s mouth falls into a hard line. “Not the whole time but yes, I knew when I saw you,” he answers her silent question.   
“You two are idiots. Fucking idiots! What the hell do you think you're doing, running around playing hero-”  
“Now Darcy that isn’t fair, your friends have done a great service to Hell’s Kitchen-” Steve tries but Bucky puts a hand on his arm and shakes his head. This isn't their fight, and whilst Darcy didn't talk a lot about her past, she always talked fondly about Matt Murdock and Foggy Nelson. This betrayal felt warranted- at least to Darcy. 

“When you can do something to stop bad things from happening you should, otherwise you're part of the problem,” Matt says firmly. “I'm not going to lie and say it's perfectly safe- it's not. But it needs done. Your friends get that, Darcy, and I know you do too.” 

Darcy shakes her head. “You were safe,” she says softly. 

“Safe means nothing if you're not being yourself. Your sister got that,” Foggy says gently.   
“Don't bring up my sister,” Darcy says angrily. “You think I don't know she'd be pissed as hell at the fact any of us are involved in this the way we are?” She demands. 

“You can stay here and not be involved in this then, this fight is beyond anything you've seen, Darcy.” Matt sounds so sure, a year ago Darcy would have believed him. Accidentally thrown in with aliens, sure. Fighting a hero’s civil war? Not so much. 

“She would still be proud, Darcy. You've done enough-” Foggy starts but finds himself against a wall a split second later, unsure how he got there, Darcy with her hand thrown out towards him, breathing heavily.   
“Darcy!” Daisy says sharply, standing quickly.   
“What the hell,” Foggy groans and Darcy blinks, horrified, dropping her hand and Foggy promptly drops with it.   
“I didn't mean to,” she whispers. “Foggy I'm sorry-“ 

“Does someone want to tell me what the fuck happened?” Matt questions, and Foggy’s now knowing eyes turn back to her. 

“She's one of them.”


	24. Chapter Twenty-Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I just noticed that this story has got over 10,000 hits. CRAZY. Though most of them are probably me trying to remember which chapter I last posted. 
> 
> Anyway! I've decided once the story is all posted I will be doing a 'behind the scenes' fun facts chapter as well as the playlist. Might as well!   
> Anyway, hope you enjoy!
> 
> Song Recommendations: Like a Funeral by Erik Jonasson, Weight Of It All by Handsome Ghost, Runaway by AURORA.

Chapter Twenty-Four.

All my light  
Turned to darkness  
All my gold  
Turned to sorrow  
All I knew  
Was a lie  
All I need  
Is just in front of me.  
-Like A Funeral by Erik Jonasson.

 

“I didn't think I'd see Darcy Lewis in my kitchen any time soon,” Steve tells Bucky as he approaches him, sitting next to him. Bucky grins and shifts over to make room.   
“She still cooking up a storm?” He asks and Steve nods.   
“Fourth batch of pancakes,” he confirms and shakes his head. “Did she sort it out with Murdock and Nelson?”   
Bucky nods. “I think so. None of them are thrilled the other is involved, but they talked it through. They seem good people.” 

Steve inclines his head. “They are. Murdock saved my life. Some of the agents from the base were after me, had me cornered. In comes Murdock, sorts them out and takes me back here. Brings in Miss Temple to fix me up, has a private investigator go check on Barton’s brother and his family, reveals himself to me and he and his friends offer to help us. Remarkable, really.” 

Bucky knows where Steve is coming from. His friend the optimist, always believing there are good people in the world. Bucky is just thankful this time he was right.   
“Was Jane’s information good?” He finds himself asking.   
“From what we could tell, yeah. It'll be helpful, means we at least know what they're planning.”   
“And what are we planning?” Bucky asks him, the thought plaguing him. 

Steve hunches towards him, his voice low. “My main priority is T’Challa. We need to find a way to get him off your back. I know you were brainwashed, Buck, but they are going to need some proof. We need something- something physical. Can you think of anything?” He probes gently. 

Bucky appreciates Steve’s caution, his hesitancy to ask Bucky to relive his time at Hydra. But he's almost reluctant to give Steve the information, to find an excuse or a way out. But he knows Steve. He's started this now, defending Bucky, and he won't stop and he'll do whatever it takes. And Bucky can't let them take Steve or Darcy or any of them, so he'll find whatever evidence they need to save his friends. 

“Yeah,” he answers finally. “I know a couple of things.”   
Steve puts his hand on Bucky’s shoulder with empathy. “You don't deserve this, Buck. You weren't in control and T’Challa needs to know that.”   
Steve sounded so sure Bucky almost believed him.   
“I can’t let you fight your friends for me, Steve. Vision, Rhodey, Tony,” Bucky pleads. “Tony of all people to defend me to.”  
“Tony likes you,” Steve protests.  
“I assassinated Tony’s parents. He tolerates me because of you.”

“Tony had worked through that with a therapist and Pepper. You were at his wedding. He fixes your arm. You both talked about it. He forgives you, Buck, because he knows that wasn’t you. But right now- all Tony sees is T’Challa, whose story mimics his own, the destruction Wanda and I caused in Lagos, and General Ross and the U.N. breathing down his neck. In his own way, he’s trying to keep us together. To do the right thing. But Tony- Tony has always struggled with execution,” Steve admits, grasping Bucky’s shoulder. “I’ll fix this, Bucky. We’ll make them understand.”   
Bucky could only hope he was right. 

X.x.X

"Okay, so we get to the airport to the jet, fly to Romania or wherever it is that has something of great importance and this will make Tony get off our back,” Wanda states.   
“It'll get T’Challa off Bucky’s,” Steve confirms.   
“We’re working on the Accords, Wanda,” Darcy assures her. She only hoped it would work. She dreaded to think what would happen otherwise. Best case scenario they'd be arrested. Worst case the others would be arrested, Wanda, Daisy and herself would be lab rats and Bucky would be-   
Unthinkable. 

She shakes herself out of her stupor and gets back to the conversation. She turns to glance at Wanda, and her pale face and stricken expression tells Darcy that she knows-of course she knows. You can't hide your worst nightmares from Wanda. “We’re going to be okay,” she reiterates firmly.   
“Why can't we just use your jet?” A man asks eagerly. “I mean, you have a jet, right? With different features and things and the ability to go invisible,” the man says with a giddy laugh. 

Daisy turns to Steve. “Who the hell is this?”   
The man straightens, composing himself. “I'm sorry there's just a lot of pretty famous people here and I'm nervous and I've had like four cups of coffee. I'm Antman.” Antman looks like he's expecting some sort of reaction or recognition but he doesn't get it. Sam chuckles.   
“Sorry Tic-Tac. This is Scott Lang. He can help,” Sam introduces.

“Right,” Daisy says curiously, clearly still not convinced.   
“The jet ran out of fuel,” Clint explains. It's near the airport. But we at least need fuel.”   
“So airport it is,” Steve confirms. “We get to Romania, we get the evidence that'll prove Bucky was brainwashed and hopefully that will prove to T’Challa Bucky wasn't in control. Once Ross doesn't have him as a driving force, we can hopefully get to Tony.”   
“And when we get to Stark?” Bucky asks.  
Steve gives him a tight smile. “Working on it.” 

“Okay,” Clint admits. “It's batshit crazy but it might work.”   
Steve pauses before speaking again, his face solemn. “This is big,” he admits, “and serious. And for some it might be the hardest thing you ever do. These are our friends. And I will completely understand if any of you want to walk away right now.”   
There is a moment of silence before Bucky puts his hand on Steve's shoulder. “I'm with you to the end of the line.”   
“Yeah,” Sam jabs, “you don't think we're going to let you get all the glory, do you?”   
“This is not just your fight. This affects us all,” Clint reminds him.   
“I won't be locked up like an animal,” Wanda says determinedly. “These powers can do some good. I want to show the world that, they're not something to be feared.”   
“We’re with you,” Darcy says firmly. “Just tell us what to do.”


	25. Chapter Twenty-Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Sorry this is up late I left my laptop in my student house midweek! But it actually works out well for you- this is long chapter that ends in a bit of a cliffhanger (sorry, the only purposely there one in the whole story!) BUT you won't have to wait long as the next update will be up tomorrow! Happy Days. I hope you enjoy and realise I've taken some creative license for this bit. Enjoy!
> 
> Song Recommendations: Wolves Without Teeth by Of Monsters And Men, Out Of The Black by Billie Marten, and Murder Song (5,4,3,2,1) by AURORA.

Chapter Twenty-Five.

And I run from wolves  
Breathing heavily  
At my feet  
And I run from wolves  
Tearing into me  
Without teeth.  
-Wolves Without Teeth by Of Monsters And Men.

 

They're barely at the airport when the sirens start sounding. Darcy glances up from fixing on her gloves, the S.H.I.E.L.D. tech fitting her perfectly, so well she can feel the power radiate on her palms and fingertips, stopping the power from getting too much, essentially. She can’t quite hear the words coming through the loud speaker over the chatter and her pounding heart. She hopes their plan will work. She hopes they’ll make it. But when she hears the sirens she knows in her heart of hearts that this is real, their friends will be coming and they will have to fight them. 

“They're evacuating the airport,” Bucky translates grimly- Darcy’s not the only one who has realised what this meant.  
“Damnit,” Clint swears.   
“How did they find us?” Daisy exclaims. “We just got here!”   
“We have to hurry. They'll be here any second if they aren't already,” says Sam.  
“Are you ready?” Bucky asks Darcy quietly. She squares her shoulders and leans up to kiss him quickly, not caring that the others are there.   
“We have to be. Let’s go.”

They split up, Steve heading straight for the jet and the rest of them placed strategically when things start going south. Tony and Rhodey block him, and out of nowhere someone who calls himself Spiderman appears, binding Steve and taking his shield. “Who the hell is that,” Daisy murmurs to Darcy from their hiding point behind a water tanker.   
“I have no clue, but wow that outfit,” Darcy replies. Daisy eyes the situation steadily, coiled and ready. “Get ready,” she warns, and Darcy can't help but think that she'll never be ready. 

Steve holds up his arms and Clint shoots an arrow through the bonds, freeing him. Scott pounces off his hiding spot on Steve’s shield, hitting Spider-Man before becoming full size. Darcy can't help but grin at the surprise from Tony’s side and as Tony heads for Wanda and Clint, Daisy makes a beeline for him to try and slow him down. Out of the corner of her eye she sees Natasha being thrown around by Scott until she zaps him and he goes flying. Scanning the runway she spots T’Challa heading up to Bucky and Sam, Steve trying to stop him with Rhodes hot on him, firing his weapons. 

Darcy thrusts out her hand towards Rhodey, takes a deep breath and twists her hand, bending his shoulder gun into an unusual knot. Knowing she has very little time before her cover is blown she pushes at the water tanker, sending it sliding across the tarmac towards T’Challa, who just about gets out of the way. She braced herself for impact and knows she's in deep shit when he sees her but she's yanked aside and pinned behind the staircase of a plane, her wrists pined with one hand and a forearm crushing her throat with the other. Darcy coughs, eyes wide as Natasha whispers threateningly to her, “if you go to use your powers on me I will break your wrists. Got it?”  
Darcy nods as well as she can and Natasha drops her, leaving her coughing and gasping. 

“Clint says he thinks you're on our side. Was he right?” Darcy asks her former mentor. Natasha shakes her head.   
“I want this over with and we needed some control on both sides. The others are too invested, they can't see this clearly.”   
Darcy rubs her wrists, the ache still there. “Please tell me you have a plan,” she asks desperately and Natasha gives her a small smile.   
“I was kind of hoping you had that covered.”  
Darcy rocks her head from side to side, her mouth in a grimace. “Kind of. No. Yes. Well, hopefully.”

Natasha raises her eyebrows. “It’s the best we’ve got,” the spy tells her before suddenly pulling at Darcy’s gloves.   
“What are you doing?” Darcy asks and Natasha shakes her head as she finally yanks them off.  
“Ross managed to get at your gloves remotely. He’s been altering your powers so they’re unstable, you’re going to have to eye ball it.”  
“I don’t have good enough control yet to do that- wait, it was Ross? I’m not unstable!” Darcy says in realisation.  
“No but this entire situation is. We need to do something and fast.”   
“They’re all too close together at the minute, someone is going to get hurt,” Darcy protests.

“Tony is not falling back,” Natasha warns and Darcy looks her in the eyes.   
“Neither is Steve.”  
Natasha takes a step back from Darcy and cracks her shoulder. “We better hope this plan of yours works then.”  
“No pressure,” Darcy mutters as Natasha checks that coast is clear.   
“Sorry,” the redhead apologises and Darcy furrows her brows.   
“What for?”

“This,” Natasha answers and slams Darcy to the side, knocking her down and into the sightline of the others. Natasha shrugs from the cover and Darcy throws her hand out and knocks her back into Rhodey. No time to worry about not having control over her powers without her gloves- she didn’t have control when she was wearing them anyway.   
“Shit,” Darcy mutters to herself and takes off running when Rhodey turns to her. She flings her hand out the send something crashing down to block him, forgetting the he can fly. Damn it. She sends a crate flying into him as he turns back to Steve who is still battling with T’Challa. 

“Stand down, Darcy,” Rhodey warns. “I don't want to hurt you. Come home.”   
Home. Darcy didn't even know where home was anymore. Was it at Shield, with Daisy and the other inhumans and agents, Coulson’s kind eyes, Yoyo’s teasing and Fitz and Simmons’ will they won't they? Is it at the Avengers facility with the family movie nights and Jane and Erik? But it isn't home unless everyone is there, Clint’s darts and Natasha's training and Steve's steadiness. Or is it a person, on the run and no one place but a steady person, a constant heart beat she knew as well as her own.   
“I’m sorry, Rhodey,” she says earnestly, and she means it, she really does. Rhodey could be condescending and self-important, but he was her friend. “But this is all wrong. I can't let this happen.” 

Darcy can't see his face behind his mask but she knows him. He's a soldier, built for battle and filing away things to tell with later. She doesn't have much time. So that's why she's glad when red tendrils appear and car come flying off the roof, pinning him down.   
Darcy looks up and Wanda and Clint are fast approaching, the former telling her, “it's us or them.”   
Darcy wishes she wasn't right. 

“You good?” Clint asks her, and she considers telling him that Natasha was with them, kind of. But there was no time to explain her plan, so she just nods and says, “yeah, of course.”   
“We need to get to the jet and we need to get to it now,” Sam says in her ear.   
“What's your status?” Steve grunts as he takes a hit from T’Challa.   
“Being chased by a fucking spider is our status,” Bucky yells and Darcy rolls her eyes.   
“He's a boy in a spider costume! Get rid of him. Daisy?”   
“Yeah, not so easy, Darcy. He threw a car at me!” 

“Okay, I take it back,” Darcy admits.   
Darcy starts towards them when Clint grabs her arm.   
“Don't,” he warns.   
“They need help!” She protests.   
“You stay where you are!” Bucky yells through the comms. “Stay away from T’Challa and you get to the jet.”   
“James I swear to god-” she threatens.   
“Darcy. If you are here all I will do is try to keep you safe.”   
Darcy lets out an infuriated noise as they run towards the hanger. “Fine, but Steve can't hold T’Challa much longer.” 

“He's breaking through,” Clint warns them and Wanda shakes her head.   
“We have to draw his attention away.”   
“We need to get to the jet,” Clint argues.   
Darcy hears a crash through the comms and whips back around to the main building in time to see Redwing dragging Spider-Man crashing through a window and hear Bucky say   
“You couldn't have done that earlier?”  
And Sam’s weary, “I hate you.” 

“What happened?” Darcy asks urgently.   
“Spider-Man webbed them and they fell, they're fine, I've got them,” Daisy answers.  
“I really hate that guy,” Bucky groans.   
“Tell us when you get to the exit,” Darcy says.   
Eying around and really hating this idea, Clint eyes her curiously. 

“We're here,” Sam informs them and Darcy takes a deep breath , shouts   
“Go now!” and lets her power take hold of T’Challa and drags backwards off Steve and swings him through the air and back into a plane abandoned on the runway, smashing him through the cockpit window, and pining him to the door.   
“Jesus Christ!” Clint exclaims. “Stark won't pay for this!” 

“We’ll figure that bit out later, just go!” Steve commands and they all make a beeline for the hanger. As they come together near the hanger a line is scorched into the tarmac and Vision floats down.   
“Captain, stop,” he says calmly. “Look around you. The destruction.”   
“Give it up, Cap,” Tony says as he lands hard, depositing Natasha beside him. Rhodey comes seconds later with T’Challa, Spider-Man swinging in too. They'd formed a blockade, and there was no way through but one. 

“What do we do?” Wanda asks hesitantly.   
Steve’s mouth is drawn into a hard line as he answers. “We fight.”  
Natasha glances towards Darcy with mild urgency in her eyes as they all start moving towards each other, neither side wavering as their speed built up.  
“They’re not stopping,” Spiderman says meekly.  
“Neither are we,” says Tony firmly. They reach a run when Darcy verves off to the side and holds out her hands, locking at the air with all her might to capture hold of everyone in the group, freezing them in their tracks. 

“Stop!” she shouts. “Look at yourselves. Look at us!”   
“What are you doing?” Steve asks her through gritted teeth and she whips round to him.   
“What am I doing? What are you doing? What are any of you doing?” She demands of them.   
“We're doing what is right,” Tony retorts.

“I don’t think you know what that is anymore. Look around you. The destruction we’ve caused. You’ve been torn apart from the inside. We’re all so hell bent on our side and what we need to do that we can’t see the truth.”  
“What’s that?” asks Rhodey defiantly, and Natasha speaks up steadily.  
“That maybe we were all wrong.” 

“You’re in on this?” Tony demands of the spy. “I suppose old habits die hard, playing both sides.”  
“Can you forget about your ego for one god damn second?” Natasha spits back.   
“What are we supposed to do?” Wanda asks angrily, her own power barely contained by Darcy’s. “Surrender?”  
“No,” Darcy grits out, feeling the strain of her powers trying to contain so many powerful people. “We compromise. Send him in,” she says into her comms. They all watch as a figure emerges from a hanger with a folder in hand. 

“Somehow I’m not surprised you know Daredevil,” Tony comments as the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen hands Darcy the file.   
“Thank you. I got it from here,” Darcy tells him gratefully, but leaves no room for arguing. Matt hesitates before nodding and disappearing again.   
“What is she doing,” Steve murmurs to Bucky.   
Bucky tries to shift against Darcy’s powers but he can’t move. He’s almost hurt that he is frozen like everyone else, but Darcy wouldn’t have done it unless she had a reason, so he stops struggling, seeing her strain, her shoulder tense and her feet planted firmly.   
“I don’t know,” Bucky answers honestly. “But hear her out.” 

“What is that?” Sam asks warily and she holds up the package for them all to see.   
“The new Sokovia Accords, if you’ll have them.”   
“You can’t just throw together new Sokovia Accords. It doesn’t work like that,” Rhodey states impatiently and Darcy shakes her head.   
“I didn’t. They were drawn up by a licensed legal team and are prepped and ready to be passed by whoever needs to. And I don’t think they will reject the new proposal if it has the signatures of all present members and more willing participants I already have lined up,” Darcy informs them and falls silent, hoping someone will take the bait.  
“Alright,” Tony says after a pause. “We’re listening.”

Darcy launches into a hasty explanation of the new Accords, detailing the effects. “Those who want to walk away can. Have a normal life and forget all of this. But those who want to stay have two options. Those who want to remain an Avenger have to let their identities be known to the world and will register with their identity, power, skill-set and danger rating along with regular reviews with a psychologist to ensure that they are in the exact right place they need to be mentally in order to best serve as an Avenger, and also to help ease the burden of the job. This who want to work black ops and remain anonymous to the public will have to work through S.H.I.E.L.D. and their identities are known by that organisation only. There’s a little room for adjustment, and it’s not perfect,” she admits. “But it’s a hell of a lot better than this.”   
She’s met with a wall of silence, but there is little struggle opposing her powers now. 

“Take the deal,” Bucky says to Steve. “It’s the best option. We have to take some responsibility.”   
“You speak of taking responsibility, yet you take none for my father’s murder. Where is the justice in that?” T’Challa spits out, hatred oozing from him.  
Bucky hangs his head in shame, unable to look Black Panther in the eye. “I remember everything I did as The Winter Soldier. Every face, every scream. That will haunt me for the rest of my days. I’m sorry for what I did to your father,” says Bucky honestly. 

Darcy starts to feel beads of sweat at her temple from effort to keep her power going. “King T’Challa,” she tries, “I am so sorry about what happened to your father. I know what it feels like to be consumed by grief. But what you’re asking for isn’t justice, its vengeance against a man who was being mind controlled. So we offer the idea of a fair trial in which you let us present the evidence we have and came here to collect proving the extent of his torture. So I implore you,” She asks evenly, “be the kind of leader you would wish to have. One not fuelled by hatred but by compassion. Be the kind of man your father would want you to be.”

T’Challa considers her, lost in his own thoughts. “Vengeance has consumed me,” he admits. “It has consumed us all. I am done letting it consume me. No more, it is not what my father would want. I accept your offer,” he decides, and Darcy could cry with relief. She turns to Steve and Tony, the former looking hesitant and the latter’s face unreadable through his mask. That is until his mask flips up, showing a weary face.

“What do you say, Cap?” he asks. “You willing to give this whole compromise thing a try?”   
Steve gives him a small smile, it’s uneasy, but it’s a start. “This plan isn’t working out for me so far.”   
Darcy lets out a breath of relief and feels herself relax slightly when she hears someone yell, “No!” from the rooftop and feels the disruption in air. Everything seems to slow down. She becomes entirely aware that there is no way to call the outcome or what was going to happen unless she did something, something she wasn’t sure she would live to regret. She saw Bucky’s panicked eyes as she twisted her hands and her hold over everyone dropped. 

“What was that?” Spiderman asks.   
Bucky takes a step towards Darcy who was still in the middle of the two lines, facing neither. “Darcy?” he asks carefully, an uneasy feeling of dread pooling in his stomach. She turns slowly to him with one of her hands on her stomach. “I’m sorry,” she whispers and he starts towards her, his pace quickening.   
“Darcy!” he repeats, panicked as she takes her hand away from her stomach and it’s covered in blood.   
“Sam!” Steve barks.  
“On it,” Falcon replies, shooting up into the sky to the roof.  
“I’ve got your six,” Rhodey says as he follows him. 

Bucky catches Darcy as she starts to fall to the ground, her knees giving out. “No no no,” he mutters as they slide to the ground, Darcy spluttering in his arms. “Stay with me,” he pleads as he tries to put pressure on the wound. Natasha lands on her knees next to him and starts packing the wound.   
“I’m fine,” Darcy stutters out shakily and Clint shushes her.   
“Save your energy, Darce.”  
“Promise- you won’t fight anymore,” she begs. “There’s- there’s been enough.”  
“It’s okay, kid. It’s over,” Tony assures her, pale faced. 

“We need to cauterize this or she’s going to bleed out before we get her to a hospital,” Natasha says lowly.  
“How? There’s no medical equipment right here, how are we going to manage it?” Daisy murmurs and Tony grimaces.   
“I have an idea. You need to keep her still, this is going to hurt like a bitch.”  
Bucky holds down her shoulders, Natasha takes her hips and Daisy grips her legs as Tony aims his hand blaster at the bullet wound. Bucky closes his eyes as Darcy starts screaming and it’s over as soon as it starts. Darcy is shaking violently in their arms as they all relinquish their hold her but Bucky. 

“Do we have an I.D. On the shooter?” Steve says into his comms.   
“Yeah, we got him,” Rhodey says and Sam elaborates.   
“It's General Ross.”   
Darcy coughs and lifts her hand to Bucky’s face, her hand cold and weak. “I love you,” she says and Bucky lays his hand on top of hers. 

“I love you,” she tells him again.   
“I love you. Don’t say it like I'm never going to hear it again,” Bucky replies.   
“One of the jets?” Daisy suggests.   
“We'll lose too much time,” Clint shakes his head. 

“Damnit,” Tony swears. “Lewis isn't going out like this. Get to the jet and follow us to the nearest hospital.”   
“What are you doing?” Steve asks as and Tony approaches and lifts Darcy off Bucky as gently as he can. He passes her to Vision who nods in understanding.   
“You're supposed to save lives. Save hers,” Tony says to him and is about to take off following suit when Natasha stops him.   
“Tony,” she says. “Give blood.”   
“What do you mean give blood?”   
“I mean your blood can help her. She’s going to need a transfusion.” 

Tony looks confused until realisation dawns on his face and he takes off without another word.   
“Come on,” Steve says to Bucky, giving him a hand. “Let’s go.”   
Bucky stands and watches as Darcy flies away in Vision’s arms, wondering if he'll ever see her again.


	26. Chapter Twenty-Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Here we are. The penultimate chapter. I'm so glad you guys have seemed to enjoy this series throughout, and came with me and the characters on this journey. This was definitely the little story that could! As always, I hope you enjoy. :)
> 
> Song Recommendations: Made For You by Alexander Cardinale, Forever by Lewis Watson, Where's My Love by Syml (Acoustic)

Chapter Twenty-Six.

With your smile illuminating  
Save my heart that needed saving  
No way I could be mistaken  
Darling I was made for you.  
-Made For You by Alexander Cardinale.

 

X.x.X

Darcy blacks out in the air.   
She doesn't know if it was being shot or the fact an AI with a magic gem is flying her around in his arms, flanked by Ironman and she's sure her friends not far behind. Her friends. She hopes they're okay and that they aren't too mad. She couldn't tell who the bullet was heading for and-unable to take a chance- she makes it go for her. She wasn't letting any of her friends get hurt, especially when they were frozen because of her and wouldn't be able to get out of the way fast enough. 

She didn't see it coming. She had prepared her speech, the Accords with Matt and Foggy’s help and the defence of Bucky with their help too- they did defend The Punisher, after all. She hadn't really wanted to think about what would happen if they didn't listen- she would be pitching her idea from a high security prison, probably somewhere cold and uncomfortable. 

She hoped that was it. That the fighting was over. They needed each other, all of them. There was only so long they could keep that up before something really got hurt. She wished she had got to see Jane and Erik before it all happened, that she could say what she had done and that she was sorry for leaving them. They just couldn't understand, and Daisy taught her more than she ever could have dreamed. She thinks they get that now. James.  
He was going to hate her. 

She hopes he gets it, that he understands. It's not that she wants to leave him. But she couldn't let anyone get hurt. She couldn't let him get hurt.   
She hopes he isn't too sad when she's gone, is the last thing she thinks before the pain overtakes her and she slips into the blackness. 

X.x.X

“This is all my fault,” Bucky says as they sit in a waiting room in the nearest hospital. The staff nearly dropped when two of the Avengers who were supposed to be at war landed on their doorstep with a girl covered in blood, but quickly took Darcy into surgery, and to their credit coped rather well when six more heroes and ex-assassins came soon after. Sam and Rhodey took Ross back to Everett Ross, the man who had been in charge of the foreseeing of bringing in the Winter Soldier. T’Challa accompanied them with the Accords, ready to put the full weight of his kingdom behind them, admiring anyone who was willing to die for their beliefs. Spider-Man went home, feeling that maybe the world wasn't quite ready to see him yet. 

“This isn't your fault,” Steve says. “It's all of ours. If we hadn't been so blind-”  
“Lewis wouldn't be fighting for her life right now,” Tony answers for him, in his normal clothes after donating blood. “Steve is right. This is on all of us.”   
“If I hadn’t-” Bucky starts, and he can’t stop staring at his hands, red with blood. Darcy’s blood.

“What? Met her? Loved her?” Clint tries, eyes hard. “Trouble found her long before she met you, you can’t take credit for that.”   
“She would have been safe at S.H.I.E.L.D.” The elephant in the room out in the open.   
Daisy shrugs, the inhumans hands still shaking as Wanda hands her a coffee. “Yeah, possibly. But she didn’t want that. She wanted here and she wanted you.”   
Natasha’s hand comes to rest on Bucky’s shoulder, comforting and firm. “Darcy doesn’t regret any of her choices,” she tells him. “Do you?”

X.x.X

Darcy wakes to bright white ceiling tiles and a florescent light that burns her eyes. She squints and turns her head slightly, and a giant balloon with a smiley face comes into focus. She feels shifting at her side and Bucky comes into view.   
“Hey, you’re awake,” he says thankfully, a relieved look on his face.   
Darcy tries to find words, feeling groggy. “What happened?” she croaks out, eyes widening in alarm at her voice.

“Don’t worry, it’ll come back. You’ve been out a few days.”   
“How long?” she whispers and he grimaces.   
“A week. You lost a lot of blood and were damaged pretty badly. They induced you into a coma to try and help you to heal.”   
Darcy furrows her brow before realisation hits in. “The airport. I was shot.” 

“Yeah, you were. You scared us pretty badly. Tony donated blood to save you.” Darcy looks round the room carefully, feeling the wound pull, making her wince.   
“Why the hell would Tony’s blood save me? Oh my God, don’t tell me he’s actually my father or something because my brain cannot handle anymore weird.”  
Bucky chuckles. “No, he’s not. But he is the same blood type. Natalia nearly scared the shit out of him, made him think the same thing you just did.” Darcy rolls her eyes before they widened, her memories flooding back. 

“What happened?! Is everyone okay? Did anyone-”  
“Darcy, relax, you're going to hurt yourself,” he assures her. “Everyone is fine. Well, except Ross. He's with Everett Ross at his high security prison. Turns out he wanted the Accords to list powered people and experiment on them for the military.”   
“So he didn't learn anything from Bruce?” She asks incredulously and he shakes his head. 

“Apparently not.”   
“And- The Accords?” She asks hesitantly and he breaks into a smile.   
“You did it Darcy. Tony and Steve accepted it, T’Challa too. They took it to Everett Ross and they think it's going to pass.”   
Darcy grins weakly, letting out a small laugh before wincing in pain. 

“T’Challa- you?” She asks uncertainly.   
Bucky takes her hand, nodding. “He isn't going to take me right away. He's giving me the chance for a fair trial, here. Steve went to gather the things we need to prove the mind control.” 

“I can testify about the HYDRA mind control. I've been under it, plus we'll still have the file of your testing somewhere. He's not taking you anywhere,” Darcy says fiercely.   
“I know,” he says. “Honestly, T’Challa just wants it over. The presentation and trial is really just for me. To settle it once and for all,” he admits, and Darcy can see where he is coming from. For so long James had battled with his mind and his conscience, trying to figure out if the actions taken when he was The Winter Soldier were his fault. He knew logically that he was under mind control but the fact he remembered everything he did didn’t make believing that he was innocent any easier. 

Darcy nods in understanding. “I get it.” She struggles to sit up and Bucky stands, alarmed.  
“What are you doing? Lie back, you’ll rip your stitches!”   
“James,” Darcy says conversationally, “you are a very convincing liar but I’m a very observational person who had a very accident prone boss. Where do you think I spent a lot of time when I worked for Jane?” she asks, and Bucky grimaces.  
“Medical bay,” he answers.  
“Medical bay,” she confirms, pulling him by the hand to sit on the bed. “So I know we’re at the base. I’m willing to bet I have no stitches because Dr. Cho probably worked her magic.” 

Bucky sighs- she’d been around spies too long. “The hospital stabilised you initially and then we brought you home. You’re fine now, you’ll just be in a bit of pain the next few days. But it was a close call. You coded on the table. Twice. I thought- I thought I was going to lose you,” he admits. Darcy tugs him forward by the front of his Henley.  
“Hey,” she says gently. “I’m right here. I’ve always been right here.”  
Bucky rests his hands on her neck lightly, his thumbs brushing her jaw. “Never do anything that stupid again,” he whispers and Darcy smiles as his thumb moves up to brush her lips. 

“You would have done the same thing,” she protests and he widens his eyes.  
“Exactly. That’s how you know it’s a dumb thing to do.”  
Darcy laughs and kisses him, thoroughly silencing any other potential protests he may have.   
“I love you,” she tells him simply when they break apart, and Bucky can’t help but smile, wondering how The Winter Soldier managed to be Captain America’s best friend, then presumed dead, the ghost of the spy world, be brought back to being Bucky Barnes, fighting for good, and somehow managed to find-  
Her.

“I love you,” he replies, meaning it with every fibre of his being, and knowing he would for the rest of his life.   
“I’m still going to do dumb shit,” she informs him, shrugging a shoulder. “If I can help people, I’m going to do it.”  
Bucky sighs, nodding. “I know,” and he did. Because he knew her soul, because whatever it was made out of- his was the same.


	27. Chapter Twenty-Seven- Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Here we are, the last chapter. Thank you so much for reading, kudo-ing, commenting and enjoying this story, ever comment and critique have made me so happy because you're invested. I love you guys! I'll post two more 'chapters' straight after this pretty much with my playlist and 'fun facts.' So, for the last time- enjoy!
> 
> Song Recommendations: I Was Made For Loving You by Tori Kelly, Can't Help Falling In Love by Haley Reinhart and Hills To Climb by Tim Myers.

Chapter Twenty-Seven.

I was made for loving you  
Even though we may be hopeless hearts just passing through  
Every bone screaming I don't know what we should do  
All I know is, darling, I was made for loving you.  
-I Was Made For Loving You by Tori Kelly

“Darcy.”  
No answer.  
“Darcy.”   
Again, no answer.

Bucky sighs and shifts in the bed and gets up, stretching as he heads to the coffee pot, hoping the smell of caffeine will rouse her from their bed. He fills two mugs and brings them back to the bedroom, noting a rendezvous place and time from Steve. He sets the mugs on the bedside table, but she still doesn’t stir. Bucky rolls his eyes and heads to the door, grabbing his gym bag on the way. He has the door open when it slams in his face, the click of the lock echoing in the otherwise silent room.   
“Now you’re up,” he says sarcastically as he turns to see Darcy stretching dramatically in bed.

“Come back to bed,” she pouts and he chuckles.  
“You know we have to meet Steve.”  
Darcy clambers to her knees on the bed, his t shirt brushing her thighs. He groans internally, thinking this woman will be the death of him. “But I’m a lot more fun than Steve,” she argues. 

“Darcy,” he says firmly before finding himself being tugged forward to the bed, his feet carrying him without any effort on his part.  
“Come on,” she whispers to him as he peppers kisses on her neck. “When is Steve ever on time anyway?”   
Bucky grins into her neck. “Always. Steve is always on time.”

“James,” Darcy tells him hotly, “you have a mostly naked woman in your bed who you want to leave early to go meet your best friend.”  
Bucky pauses in his ministrations to look at her. “How naked?” he asks.  
Darcy smiles coyly at him, knowing she’s won. “Why don’t you come back to bed and find out?”  
They fall back into bed, the coffee and Steve long forgotten. 

“How was your morning?” Steve asks them later when they’d met him. “You guys fit in a workout?”  
Bucky chokes on his coffee and starts coughing, and Darcy is able to remain straight faced and nod. “Yep. Got in a good workout this morning. Very vigorous.”   
Steve nods in approval, oblivious. “Hopefully not too vigorous, this mission looks to be a tough one.”

“I think we’ll manage,” Bucky murmurs.  
Steve looks at them with narrowed eyes. “I’m never asking you that again,” he realises and Darcy can’t help but laugh and claps him on the shoulder.   
“Sorry, Cap. You’re just so innocent.”

“It ain’t Cap anymore, Darcy,” Steve reminds her and Darcy inclines her heading, almost forgetting despite the black stealth suit he now wore instead of red, white and blue. As The Amended Accords were put through Steve had announced he was stepping down as Captain America. It had become bigger than himself, and he had become a Captain America he had never wanted to, willing to risk everything for one person as opposed to prepared to save the majority. Instead, he now over saw the Avengers Base, training and missions, the Director of the Avengers. After much deliberation, Darcy had decided to go back home to the Avengers base with her friends. Daisy and S.H.I.E.L.D. now worked with them more closely and she would never forget what they did for her, but she knew where she needed to be. 

She glanced at Bucky and was thankful he was here at all. He’d gone through his trial with the representation of Nelson & Murdock, acquitted of his crimes and deemed a prisoner of war, and any time or punishment that people may think he should have had already been served under his time at HYDRA. She had knew people would see this especially after the red notebook they found along with the brain wiping machine along with Matt and Foggy’s defence. He hadn’t been sure though, his head hung low throughout, relief evident on his face when he was acquitted. 

She tunes back into the conversation when Steve goes over the details of the mission again for his agents. She nods and Steve leads them to the opening cargo ramp, yelling over the noise of the wind.   
“Are you ready?” he asks them and Darcy looks up at Bucky, his eyes lighter than when they first met.  
“Ready,” she replies, and they jump.


	28. Fun facts!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Here are my funfacts and behind the scenes information. I hope you enjoy looking into my process!

Hey! Okay so first off I currently don't have time to type up the names and artists of 390 songs, so the playlist is called 'Please Don't Scar This Young Heart' on Spotify and my name is Clodagh Gribben. Let me know if you find it and what you think!

 

-I got the idea/starting shipping the ship of Wintershock from a fan fiction author I love. It just made sense to me. 

-I started writing this August 2015 and finished it November 2016, so it took a bit over a year. I'm a really slow writer with concentration issues.

-This story helped get me through some of the worst and most lonely times in my life, it gave me something to do I enjoyed, so even if nobody had read this it still would have had a big place in my heart. So it makes me even happier that you guys seem to love it too! 

-It was originally supposed to be a oneshot throughout ‘Darcy being Bucky’s handler/nurse’ at the start of the story. But I just couldn't leave it. 

-I probably wrote this story in the weirdest way ever. It's a total patch job. I had bullet points of different scenes I wanted to happen. The first scene I planned and wrote was obviously the one shot, then it was the attack on the Avengers base, and then back to the start again with Bucky and Darcy’s friendship growing, then Darcy with powers on the run with Daisy, Clint and Bucky, back to the Agents of Shield ones arriving, Tony and Pepper’s wedding, then Civil War and the epilogue. It was in two notebooks, and four or five word documents apart from the main one. Yikes. 

-I started writing Bucky, Darcy, Clint and Daisy on the run because of ‘Civil War’ before Civil War came out. So I was mixing comic knowledge and movie knowledge and doing my own thing, and altered it a bit when I'd seen the movie. 

-Something happens quiet frequently in my stories in that I'll have something happen in them and then it happens in the actual thing, but mine doesn't get released until after. For example, in this story Darcy says something about being brainwashed, and Clint replies ‘I count three out of four.’ There are Clint (Loki), Darcy (Ward) and Bucky (Hydra), with Daisy being the fourth. After I wrote this she was brainwashed on her show. So four out of four, really! 

-In case you didn't realise- the bar Darcy got drunk at was Luke’s bar with both Luke and Jessica there. Fogwell’s Gym was the Gym Matt Murdock’s father trained at. Jessica Jones was the Private Investigator sent to check on Clint’s brother’s family. 

-In this story, Laura Barton isn't his wife and those aren't his children. Laura is married to Clint’s brother, Barney. 

-Speaking of wives, I tried to figure out a way to mention that Clint and Bobbi had dated (figured married was a stretch) but it was irrelevant and never made it in. 

-Tony and Sharon are old friends through Peggy and Howard, obviously. I think it’s pretty crazy they don't know each in MCU. 

-Daisy knowing a place they could hide in Chicago is a nod towards the fact Chloe Bennet is from Chicago. 

-Darcy and Daisy both attended the same school/ children’s home- again, I considered making it they already knew each other but that would have over complicated it. 

-Darcy went to Culver University- the university Betty Ross, Andrew Garner, and Bruce Banner taught at. It seems to be a big university in Marvel. 

-This is already explained but Darcy and Clint became friends as Clint was stationed in New Mexico for the clean up after Thor, as he had a cameo in the movie. 

-There's a reference to Jeremy Renner’s movie Mission Impossible:Ghost Protocol when Clint said they had a mission in Dubai where he was suspended in a vent and there was a massive fan. 

-Darcy was born where Kat Dennings is from. 

-Darcy’s dress for Tony and Pepper’s wedding is a dress Kat Dennings wore to one of the Thor premieres. 

-It's hinted that Bucky and Natasha have a past. This was when Hydra basically ‘loaned’ The Winter Soldier out to the KGB to train Red Room candidates, and they were partners for a while, and more, like in the comics. 

-Romania is where there is still some Hydra equipment because Sebastian Stan is from there. 

 

That's it for now! If any more that I've completely blanked on pop into my head I'll let you know! So that was the 'behind the scenes' look at Please Don't Scar This Young Heart.


	29. New Year's Oneshot.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the Chrimbo Limbo in the Avengers base when Bucky and Darcy are called on a mission- it's unfortunately not Die Hard. But it does result in some surprising discoveries.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyyyyyyy I'm bacckkkkkk.   
> I missed my babies and it's Christmas and I had to. You're welcome! A little oneshot to celebrate the New Year.  
> Happy New Year everyone!

Give me a lifetime  
And then fifty more to find the words  
That will never explain  
How I need you   
How I see you  
How you are everything that I have.  
\- 'I Will Love You' by Gin Wigmore.

There was no rest for the wicked, and apparently, not for the Avengers either. It was the day after Christmas when Steve informed Bucky and Darcy they were needed on a mission. Darcy had been looking forward to Christmas with Bucky- lazy days filled movies, music, food, and sex. They’d gotten one day of that.   
“Criminals have no Christmas spirit,” Darcy grumbles as she takes off the antlers that had been presiding on her head, putting them mournfully away as she whirls around their room in searching for her go bag. It didn’t matter how long she had been an agent, old habits- and being unorganised- die hard. Bucky coughs behind her, and Darcy turns to see her boyfriend lazily brandishing both go bags in front of him. 

“They’re grinches,” he agrees, and Darcy grins at him. Making him watch all those Christmas movies had paid off.   
“But,” she admits as she takes her bag from him, double checking the contents. Civilian clothes, her gloves. They were helpful again now they weren’t being tampered with. Her suit and any weapons needed would be at debrief. “Fighting bad guys at Christmas? Die Hard.”  
Bucky looks at her, confused, as she takes off her Christmas jumper, fires it on a chair and slips into more mission appropriate outfit. “Die Hard! The movie. It’s an action Christmas movie. Come on, James, we watched that one!” 

“Doll, you made me watch so many, they all kind of blurred together,” he admits as they make their way to the SUV.   
“So you’re saying raining gun fire and buildings exploding feasibly could have happened in Love Actually?” Darcy asked incredulously. Bucky shrugged. “Oh, you still have so much to learn,” Darcy sighed fondly as they pulled out of the garage.

X.x.X

To Darcy’s disappointment, the mission had not been like Die Hard. Though she gave the marks names like Karl, Heinrich and Marco, they weren’t Germans and hadn’t taken a Christmas party hostage. It had been a weapon bust, which Darcy had initially queried. Wasn’t that a little low grade? It turned out not to be, as Tony’s progeny had uncovered an alien weapons black market. He had got the main guy, a man called The Vulture, but Bucky and Darcy had been sent in to help with clean up. 

It had been going fine. Darcy had taken point, undercover as an interested buyer thanks to some of S.H.I.E.L.D.’s technology, and Bucky was on a nearby roof with a sniper rifle. It had been going well- the plan was to get the weapons in their possession and then arrest and interrogate the suspects about any stragglers left over from the organisation. “One last thing,” ‘Karl’ said coolly. “Did you come alone?”   
Darcy considered him, leaning against her car casually before answering firmly, “I said I would, didn’t I?”  
‘Karl’ turned to ‘Heinrich’, who nodded. ‘Karl’ turned back to her, his head cocked. “Then tell me, babe. Why have I lost contact with my eyes in the sky?” 

Darcy’s eyes flit to the roof, and she knows she’s been made. She flings out her hand, and the case with the weapons comes skidding towards her. ‘Marco’s’ is raising his gun towards her but with a twist of her hand his head is bouncing off the brick wall, and she sends him flying into ‘Heinrich.’ Karl snarls at her.   
“Mutie bitch.”  
Darcy gives him a tight smile, and can’t help herself from force choking him for a second. As he drops to the ground, she kicks out, adding more force than necessary to knock him back. Another yank of her hand sees all their weapons being ripped from their grasps and turning in the air to face them as they look at her fearfully.   
“That’s enhanced inhuman bitch to you.” 

The guns still trained on them, Darcy turns to open the container, the glow from within confirming Spiderman’s theory.   
“Do you know how stupid it is to be selling alien weapons?” she demands. “You don’t look like smart guys, but really, Karl, you should know better than this.”  
‘Karl’s’ brow furrows. “My name isn’t Karl.”  
“Today it is,” she informs him, and shuts the container tightly. 

“I’m going to need a list of your buyers,” Darcy tells him, and Karl laughs.   
“I’m not telling you that.”  
A figure appears out of the shadows, a gun pointed at Karl’s temple.  
“The lady asked nicely,” Bucky says tightly.

Darcy narrows her eyes at him. “I thought we agreed I’d take point.”  
“It looked like you were in trouble,” Bucky supplies and Darcy scoffs, gesturing around her at the very handled situation.   
“Really?” she demands.   
“Are you two done having a domestic? I’d like to just be arrested now,” Karl says miserably.  
“Oh Karl, you’re no fun,” Darcy whines.   
“Please stop calling me Karl.”  
“Yippee Ki Yay, motherfucker,” Darcy says solemnly, ignoring him as Bucky calls in for the criminals to be picked up. 

“They’re two minutes out,” Bucky tells her when he comes back.  
“Oh, what a miracle, the backup team know when to hold off,” Darcy says flippantly, and Bucky cringes internally. The sniper on the roof had his gun trained on Darcy from the start, and Bucky was wary of an itchy trigger finger and took them out. And it seems his girlfriend wasn’t too happy about that fact.   
“Doll,” he starts.  
“Don’t doll me. Don’t ruin my John McClane moment.” Bucky could feel the tightness emanating from Darcy, so he said nothing more.  
He didn’t say anything until they were back at the base, Darcy’s stony silence letting him know she was pissed. They got into their suite before Darcy whirled on him, poking his shoulder.

“What the hell was that? You blew my cover!” she demands.  
“They had a sniper on you, Darcy,” Bucky says calmly. He hated being on the receiving end of her anger, but he wasn’t backing down. She was his partner, he wasn’t going to leave her vulnerable.   
“You think I didn’t know that?” she shoots back, eyes narrowed. “Wouldn’t it be great if I had some sort of power, or ability, to sense shifting in the air. Wouldn’t that be handy.” Darcy’s words were dripping with sarcasm, her pretty eyes icy and unrelenting. She was beautiful when she was furious, though it was never fun when that fury was directed at him. 

“I had to,” Bucky says simply. This only infuriates her more.  
“You had to? What kind of macho bullshit is that?”  
“You’re my partner and I’m supposed to protect you from threats.”  
Darcy stares at him. “You don’t trust me,” she says flatly.  
“That’s not it,” he protests.   
“You don’t trust me!” she exclaims, folding her arms at her chest. “Even after everything, you still don’t trust me to look after myself.”   
“The last time you and a sniper were in the same equation, you got yourself shot and nearly died,” Bucky states, and each word is a blow to Darcy, and she’s back in that airport, hearing the gunshot, feeling it rip its way through her. Bucky’s gaze is on her abdomen and her hand instinctively goes to her stomach, and she’s almost surprised that when she takes her hand away it isn’t covered in blood. It was only then she got it, and felt her anger fade away. 

“Oh,” she says softly, her eyes squeezed shut against the memory. “James….”  
“I know you can take care of yourself,” he tells her gently, his arm trapping her against the door. “I trust you. You’re the strongest, most capable person I know. But I can’t lose you, Darcy,” he says earnestly, his forehead falling into the crook of her neck, “I just can’t.”  
“James, you’re not going to lose me,” Darcy sighs as she rests her cheek against his hair, finding comfort in the weight of his body against hers. She nudges his face up and takes it in her hands, forcing him to look at her. “You won’t lose me. I’m not going anywhere, not again.” 

Bucky searches her eyes, clear and steady. They’ll always be haunted by their pasts. There will always be times that one or both wake up screaming, where they train in the small hours of the morning until they bleed, or when things still go flying across the room sometimes. (She’s good with her powers- but nobody is perfect.) They will always have scars, both physically and mentally. But Darcy was here, with him, her heart beating and her blood pumping and she was alive. 

“I don’t trust myself,” he admits finally. “I don’t trust that I can help protect you. I know you can protect yourself, it’s not a case of competency. But if something were to happen to you- I’d never forgive myself,” his voice cracked. Darcy’s inner feminist would normally rile at a statement like that. But she knew Bucky. She knew he didn’t mean it against her capabilities. It wasn’t so much about her ability to protect herself as his to protect her. And after everything, she couldn’t fault him for that. Instead she presses a fierce kiss to his lips, her hands slipping back to tangle in his hair. So much passed between them unsaid, until Darcy pulls back and says,   
“Good job I can help protect myself then, isn’t it?” 

Darcy forgets the fight almost as soon as it is over. She isn’t the type to hold grudges. But Bucky doesn’t. The next few days come with an announcement from Tony- he’s throwing a New Year’s Eve party in the base. (Steve didn’t get much say in the matter.) He’d obviously been feeling generous over the Christmas period as he even invited Phil and the rest of S.H.I.E.L.D. Tony used the party as an opportunity to properly introduce his new project to everyone- Spiderman, otherwise known as Peter Parker.   
“He’s a kid?!” Darcy exclaims to Tony. Tony shrugs. Say what you will about Tony Stark- but he throws one hell of a party. The place had been decorated and there was a beautiful tree, and for some reason a massive toy bunny. She tore her eyes away from it and back to her current companion, who was watching Peter talk excitedly with Steve.   
“Yeah. A good kid.”  
“He threw a car at James,” Darcy replied flatly.  
“Sorry about that!” Peter called from across the room. Darcy furrowed her brow.   
“He can hear me?” she demanded of Tony, who smiled.  
“You get used to it.”

The party went as most Avengers parties started out, at least- with music, talking, and lots of drinking. Darcy hoped upon hope that this one wouldn’t be crashed, because that would suck. She couldn’t help but stand on the peripheral and just watch. She had never seen all her friends together in such good circumstances. Fitz was trading ideas with Tony, and Jemma was excitedly bopping along beside Bruce, their heads ducked in their own world. May and Nat seemed to be having some sort of drinking contest, of which Daisy and Clint were watching like college students. Steve was signing something of Coulson’s, who Darcy could have swore was blushing.   
Tony and Pepper were in their own world, dancing along to the music. To Darcy’s delight Tony had even invited Matt, Foggy and Karen- who Darcy had deemed a really nice girl who was allowed to be around her two friends. It was weird at first, and it felt like someone was taking her sister’s place, but Karen wasn’t. They’d simply made room.

“I love seeing everyone together,” she sighs to Jane. Jane nods in agreement.   
“It’s perfect. I just hope it can stay like this, just for tonight.”  
“No missions,” Darcy exclaims, and Jane continues her train of thought.  
“Or HYDRA agents, or kidnappings….”  
“Hey!” Darcy protests. “Too much. No fair.”  
Jane giggles, the champagne in her hand clearly going to her head. “I miss this. I miss you. Come back to the lab, it’s safer.”  
Darcy snorts. “Your lab, safer? I don’t think so, Jane, especially not with you and Erik running it alone now.”  
“Hey!” Jane mimics. “Too much, not fair.” 

They both laugh, their friendship still easy despite not seeing each other very often. Jane spots something over Darcy’s shoulder. “I better go. Thor looks like he’s about to arm-wrestle Mack, I’d like to see this closer up.”   
“For science?” Darcy guesses, grinning, and a Cheshire cat smile spreads over her ex-bosses face.   
“For science,” she confirms solemnly, giving Darcy a quick hug. “Happy New Year, Darce.”  
“Happy New Year, Janey,” Darcy calls at her retreating figure. She isn’t alone for long as she feels a cool hand drape itself lazily on her waist. Despite her very awkward first meeting with said arm- Bucky still laughs that she tried to put a blood pressure cuff on a bionic arm- it wasn’t strange to her, and never would be. 

“Hi,” she says, looking up at him. Bucky’s grip tightens slightly on her at Darcy’s content tone.  
“Hi,” he murmurs back.   
“The spider is a kid,” she tells him, and Bucky grins.   
“I know. Steve nearly lost his mind that he tried to crush a kid. Ain’t seen him as nervous as he was around girls back in the day.”   
“Eh, the kid gave as good as he got,” Darcy summarises. 

“True. He did throw a car at me.” There’s no malice in his words, but Bucky seems on edge.   
“Yeah, he said sorry for that,” Darcy informs him, turning into Bucky, concerned. “Are you okay? You’re being weird.”   
“Sorry, doll, it’s just still hard being around so many people,” Bucky explains, glancing out of the balcony door behind them. “Can we get some air?” he asks her, and Darcy nods.

“Of course! Come on,” she tugs his hand and opens the balcony doors, and they lean against the railings, staring out into the distant lights of New York City, and the fireworks launching in preparation for midnight. It must be soon, Darcy realises. “It’s so beautiful,” she sighs. “We should come out here more often. I’m complaining to Tony, getting moved to this side of the base. Better views.”   
“I agree, the view is….spectacular,” Bucky says softly. “I’m sorry about the fight the other day.”  
Darcy makes a noncommittal noise and rolls her eyes. “Water under the bridge, James. It’s okay.”  
“No,” Bucky shakes his head, moving away from her. “It got me thinking. I can’t lose you. Not ever.”  
“I told you, you won’t,” Darcy reminds him.   
“And I hate not being with you,” he tells her. Darcy turns towards him, leaning against the railing.   
“I hate being apart from you too. But we’re partners, we’re with each other all the time,” she says, confused. Bucky coughs, shifting.

“That’s not exactly what I mean. I want to be with you, forever.”  
Darcy’s eyes widened as Bucky sinks to his knee pulling a box out of his pocket. “What are you doing?” she asks dumbly, and Bucky grins at her.   
“Exactly what you think I’m doing.”  
“But you’re legally dead,” she blurts out, and Bucky hangs his head for a moment before looking back up at her.   
“Damnit, doll, we can figure that out. Please stop trying to be logistic, I’m trying to propose to you here,” Bucky says tightly. Darcy bites her lip, feeling herself start to bounce with excitement. 

“Okay, sorry. Continue.”   
“Will you-”  
“Yes,” she blurts out.   
“Let me finish the question?” he grins at her, and she shakes herself.  
“No. Yes. I mean, yes. Hurry up and ask me!” she demands. 

“It doesn’t have to be now, or even soon. All I know is ever since I’ve been on this earth I’ve been searching for something. And that something is you. You’re like a devil in the mornings and you make a lot of references I still don’t get, and you’re the most beautiful, kind, and amazing woman I know. I want us to be together forever, and I want you to be my wife,” he tells her earnestly, opening the box to reveal a ring. Darcy could burst. She flaps her hands at him.   
“Please, you’re killing me here,” she begs him.   
Bucky can’t help but smile at her. “Always so impatient.”  
“Barnes,” she warns desperately, ready to reach for him. 

“Darcy Lewis,” he states, and Darcy stills herself.  
“Yes.”  
“Marry me?” he asks hopefully, and Darcy surges forward, bringing him to his feet, planting kisses on his lips and around his face, giddy, before launching herself into his arms, hugging him tightly.   
“Doll,” he chuckles into her neck, “you haven’t answered the question yet.”  
“Yes! Yes, sorry, yes!” Darcy blurts out, a grin splitting her face. Bucky laughs, relieved, slipping the ring onto her finger as his kisses her, midnight hitting on the clock in the party behind them, but they’re oblivious to the rest of the world. They’re too busy celebrating their new future-  
Together.


End file.
